mykindofclean

Christmas 09

2009-12-23T13:55:00.000-08:00

Christmas ‘09
“It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone shorts.”
~Kelly Allen

The hustle and bustle of collecting Holiday gifts to give with the hopes of receiving others to then re-gift (a great recycling system), the drudgery of finding perfect Christmas cards (and why do we need to pay more for cards made of recycled materials?), making the time to scribble some holiday thoughtful mush-mosh nonsense into them not to mention addressing the cards and getting them to the post office in time to get them into expectant hands. Whewww!

Let’s face it - there’s nothing Zen about Christmas. If it were, Christmas might be as Zen as a common household refrigerator. (Ya know? Is the light always on or is it just me? Similar to asking "Am I conscious now?” or “Is my own inner mental light on or not?”)

When it comes to refrigerators, for the record, men eat far more fruits and vegetables if they're stored on the same refrigerator shelf as the beer…at Christmas time or otherwise. Similarly, storing fruits and vegetables at eye-level reminds just about every family member to mindfully eat them. But for some reason the crisper drawers are at the base of the fridge and we somehow always forget about the stuff we’ve stashed there. And cleaning out the crisper drawer is always a sad reminder of how good food turns into puddles of goo beneath other goodies—and unless you compost, that goo ain’t green!

Our new dog, a rescued 18 month-old Cairn Terrier called Emerson (named after the author Ralph Waldo Emerson or the 80s band Emerson, Lake & Palmer – your choice) is always sitting at the base of our opened refrigerator right in front of the crisper drawer. I’m convinced that the philosopher Plato was right. He once joked, “Your dog is a true philosopher.” That being said, Emerson’s either contemplating his own mental light, perhaps pondering the true meaning of Christmas, wondering how he might joyfully clean the slimy mess that’s growing in our over-crowed crisper drawers or – most probably – coveting the entire mess. And because its Emerson’s first Christmas with my partner Richard and me, to him I dedicate this ditty –

“Oh Crisper Drawer”
(Sung to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”)

O Crisper Drawer, O Crisper Drawer,
Your contents seem delightful.
O Crisper Drawer, O Crisper Drawer,
I’m just a dog; not spiteful.
The meats and cheeses make me sad.
I don’t have fingers only pads.
But when the fridge is firmly closed,
Without some help it’s only nosed.

O Crisper Drawer, O Crisper Drawer,
The compact bulb shines brightly.
O Crisper Drawer, O Crisper Drawer,
The salsa lid’s on tightly.
I could be cheerful, gay and bright,
There's only splendor in the sight,
Of t-bone steaks upon the floor.
For Christmas dogs think more is more.

O Crisper Drawer, O Crisper Drawer,
Much pleasure you can give me.
O Crisper Drawer, O Crisper Drawer,
My endless barking is my plea.
The hidden pleasures that wait for dogs,
Olives, pickles and eggnogs.
Afforded me my greatest glee,
Replace my food with softened Brie.

O Crisper Drawer, O Crisper Drawer,
How richly God has filled you.
O Crisper Drawer, O Crisper Drawer,
I have this aching bugaboo.
It’s DNA that draws me there,
And fuels my sickened food affair.
I might be healed before next year.
But this Noel feed me brat’s and beer.

So if your refrigerator is a disaster this holiday season (all those leftovers that get left-over a day too long!), remember that baking soda works great to keep it smelling fresh. Just tear the top off a fresh box and let it do its thing. After a month, if you can find it among everything else you forgot was in there, replace the old baking soda with a fresh one and use the old box in a cleaning project so that nothing goes to waste (e.g. just pour it down the kitchen drain to freshen the pipes or add some white vinegar to unclog them).

And to remove that inevitable puddle of holiday goo, your crisper drawer will shine like new when cleaned with borax. Apply to a soft cloth or a dampened sponge and use as you would any commercial kitchen cleanser. Once tidy, rinse with clean water.

So whether your inner mental light is on or not, this holiday season think like a dog and get rid of that mess.

P.S. While I don’t encourage rash pet-purchasing for the holidays, many highly encourage and applaud all of the (mostly) volunteer rescue networks that each canine breed seems to have developed. These tireless rescuers, vets, foster-parents, nursemaids, interviewers, etc., that have devoted a great deal of their lives to saving abused and abandoned dogs. Cairn’s being our favorite breed (ala Toto), we hope you’ll visit Col. Potter’s Cairn Rescue Network (http://www.cairnrescue.com/) and even if you don’t adopt, you can at least ooh and ahh at all the cuteness.

Merry Christmas!!

2009-05-17T03:48:00.000-07:00

The “Wizard of OZ”
(It’s American Fairytale Author, L. Frank Baum’s Birthday)

“I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse tomove after getting tornado warnings.

How hard is it for them to relocate?
Their house’s have wheels.”
~ Carlos Mencia

The Wicked Witch of the East; Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion, The Wizard and - yes – those be-dazzling Ruby Slippers (originally Silver Slippers—oh that Adrian!)

Despite her dreary, repressed, pig-slop smelling, pre-pubescent years on a poor family farm in Kansas, beloved orphan, Dorothy Gale wondered what life might be like beyond her own picket fence. As with many adolescents, feeling no alternative but to run away in order to save her dog Toto from everyone’s favorite mean neighbor, Elmira Gulch, she meets up with a crackpot magician, and - as happens more often now because of Climate Change - she finds herself caught in the winds of a giant tornado. Barely making it home, she gets clobbered by a windswept window and falls through the sub-conscious inward spiral of the twister.

Once awakened - through the magic of Technicolor - she meets a village of Munchkins and Glinda the Good Witch who grants her the Ruby Slippers, and through one of the most memorable Hollywood musical numbers ever produced, learns to follow that conscious outward spiral to womanhood - the ever-famous yellow brick road.

In hindsight it’s easy to recognize the irony of Dorothy fulfilling a Wizard’s challenge to get home and then discovering that she had the ability to be there all the time, the Scarecrow hoping for intelligence only to discover he’s already a genius, the Tin Man longing to love only to discover his heart, a cowardly Lion who’s actually fearless and the citizens of the Emerald City discovering that their Wizard was actually an eccentric old man. That’s the Hollywood version in a nutshell. (OK! OK! Aficionados needn’t act on your urge to correct or comment on my interpretation, or misinterpretation…ya’ know you’re dying to and ya’ know who you are!)

Much like Dorothy and her cohorts feeling the need to visit the WASH & BRUSH-UP CO. (“Rub, rub here, rub, rub there”) to look their very best in preparation for meeting the great and powerful Wizard of Oz, the next time you’ve been away from home and need to tidy up a bit - green skin or not – you don’t need to visit the Merry Old Land of Oz to feel fresh.

So if you’ve been out riding a twister, romping through fields of heroin-laden poppies, “liquidating” evil witches with water, or, more to the point, walking miles in someone else’s shoes (Ruby-encrusted or not, who knows what the Wicked Witch of the East had going on between her witchy toes??), your feet can become riddled with fungus instead of remaining lady-like-soft-n-sumptuous. In the event that yours do, put your best foot forward and treat your athlete’s foot (Come on – chicks get it too!) by steeping your frazzled feet in warm, salted water (one teaspoon of salt per cup of water) for five to ten minutes every day. The salt kills the fungus and reduces perspiration. When finished, dry each little piggy thoroughly before slipping your dogs back into your Manolo Blahniks, Chucky T’s, or even your ruby slippers.

Along her trip, Dorothy's search for home inspires us, while her ruby slippers represent the “amazing feats” of which we’re all capable. So whether you’re on a space-ship to Mars, a cross-town bus, or riding a twister to OZ, mindfully enjoy the sights and sensations along the way as much as those when you arrive at your final destination. Don’t forget - it’s all about the journey! While searching for your heart’s desire somewhere over the rainbow, emulate Baum’s Dorothy, and remember to have the “be here now” ability to use your brain, your heart and your courage simultaneously.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.
Please consider the environment.

2009-05-10T04:42:00.000-07:00

Mother’s Day
“It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”
~The Golden Girls

We all get one – a mother that is - and it’s no surprise that Mother’s Day is one of the most commercially successful of U.S. holidays.

What drives it? Is it guilt? When we recognize our female parents for their often under-appreciated responsibilities of raising offspring by toiling away to our benefit with steady and selfless love and support, can’t we do it without being commercial? But in recognition of all that she did/does/will do/might do, etc., on this special day, we can pay her tribute with a bit of eco-this and eco-that - potted flowers, herbs or decorative vegetation that can be planted in the garden, organic chocolate, socially responsible bling made from blood-free diamonds, shells or recycled materials, truly organic beauty products, or even soy or beeswax candles scented with essential oils with non-lead wicks.

But unfortunately, the flowers will soon fade and become compost. And in today’s economy, the rock might just end up in hock. And her backside (along with yours too, buddy) will only get a size larger from all that chocolate, eco or not!

But Mother Nature is everyone’s automatic second mom, personified as female for thousands of years and representing sustenance and nurturing – so it's quite fitting that on Mother’s Day we consider both our mother and Mother Nature as well.

Among those acknowledging the good deeds by women on behalf of Mother Earth, are the WINGS World Quest Women of Discovery Awards. WINGS was organized a decade ago to demonstrate how women explorers and field scientists are underserved, and sought to remedy the sad fact that young people often lack the curiosity to explore the natural world.

This special honor recognizes outstanding contributions to our general knowledge in critical environmental areas, while providing important funding for continued research and expeditions. What a remarkable way to acknowledge environmental advances, to exemplify the work of some genius women, girls, sisters, aunts, grandmothers and mothers, and to showcase the possibilities for women to work as scientists.
On Mother’s Day, whether your mom is a scientist, a geologist a paleontologist, or just a plain ol’ scrubologist, laundry-ologist or dustologist, take a moment and thoughtfully acknowledge her. Remember, she’s the one who took you on your first 9-month environmental exploration.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-05-04T10:25:00.000-07:00

Hairstyle Appreciation Day
“If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive.”
~ Dale Carnegie

We all have hair—some more, some less. (Some of us even have it where we don’t want it!) Fine, medium, coarse - light blonde, copper-brown, honey-red, ginger-twist, sun-kissed, winter wheat, or ash—no matter, it’s all hair. And maybe that color is even naturally yours (yeah, right!), or maybe you’ve just paid a small fortune for it. The possibilities are as limitless as the hairs on your head—all 120,000 of them (for those of you who still have a full head of it or have had a head-full woven in—giving you 240,000 perhaps!!??)

I actually have a lot of nerve writing anything about hair. Perhaps someone less “follicly-challenged” than me—with hair resembling the “10”-rated tresses of Bo Derek, the strong as nails strands of Rapunzel, the carrot-top mane of, eh, Carrot Top, or the magnificent salt’n’pepper crown of Toni Morrison—should best write about Hair Appreciation Day. Don’t get me wrong, I have hair, and I do appreciate it. . . but, unfortunately, mine is mostly just clogging my drain.

What I can write about with authority, though, is that daily care with wholesome products can help keep your hair—if you’ve got it—strong and strikingly beautiful. When you’re shopping for your products of choice, keep this in mind: if you can’t pronounce the ingredients, they’re probably not all that great for you. I mean, what did folks use before Madison Avenue invented that 50s icon, the Breck Girl?

Now once you’ve made your selection and finally commence the act of shampooing, remember to always massage your scalp slowly but thoroughly with your fingertips, to vigorously stimulate the circulation of blood on the skin wrapping around your skull. You’ll be amazed at how much tension is stored there. Feel that tension float away as your digits activate your locks right down to the roots. (Even we baldies can benefit from this kind of stimulation!) Then, rinse thoroughly.

I know, I know, you’re automatically saying to yourself, “rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat” because every commercially produced shampoo bottle has brainwashed us to do this. “Wash, rinse, and repeat.” “Wash, rinse, and repeat” Says who? The “repeat” is less intended to properly clean your hair than it is to sell more shampoo. Only “repeat” if you’re in the mood to do so or if your hair is so filthy that you think you absolutely must!

Let’s not split hairs over this: remember, it’s good health and mindful grooming that make for beautiful tresses, not standing in the shower, endlessly “washing, rinsing, and repeating.” In fact, you can very easily “repeat” yourself into a head full of dried out frizz if you’re not careful.

Here are a few hair grooming suggestions for the continued health, beauty, manageability, and all-around wellbeing of your “crowning glory.” All of my ingredients are entirely natural, pure, familiar and safe, and require nothing more than “re-purposing” staples you most probably already have on hand. And rest assured that any of these ingredients washing down your drain are eco-benign, don’t pollute, don’t encourage algae growth, don’t smother fish and other aquatic life, and in no way upset the delicate balance of natural flora and fauna in our eco-system.

· Knead a few tablespoons of olive oil into your dry scalp and hair. Swathe your oiled-up curls with a shower cap and take a thirty minute breather...snooze, toss back a latté - whatever. Then just shampoo as usual to reveal a refurbished mane that even Fabio would envy.

· Every night, rub your scalp and massage your mane with a solution of 50/50 distilled white vinegar and water. This homemade “hair-product-residue remover” leaves behind the glistening, polished locks you’ve always dreamed of.

· And for the simplest of shampoo replacements, combine one tablespoon of baking soda with two tablespoons of water—remembering that this isn’t going to look or feel like any shampoo you’re accustomed to. Think of it more like a shamp-paste. There won’t be mountains of foamy bubbles (you get those in commercial products because of the chemicals added to get all that lather). Work the paste through your hair and rinse thoroughly, for unexpectedly clean and remarkably shiny hair.

Hairstyle Appreciation Day celebrates the distinctiveness of all styles of hair - comb-over, cornrows, crew cut, flat-top, pigtails, or Elvis-like pompadour - and allows each of us (bald or hirsute) to convey our unique brand of mindful beauty.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-04-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

Earth Day
“Strange is our situation here upon earth.”

~Albert Einstein

March is when we welcome the first signs of spring—fading winter; the sound of songbirds; the once bare, leafless branches hosting buds at the end of every twig; the overhead migration of ducks; and the smell of part rainfall, earth and ozone creating a scent that certainly defines springtime and--for many--also Earth Day.

With Earth Day under our proverbial feet, many consider their “green-ness.” With the promise of a “green” economy as a growth economy, the majority of consumers agree with the popularity of “green,” as more and more venders offer these kinds of alternatives. With more information now than ever before available on how to become or go “green” on television, cable or on the Internet, many understand the recognizable benefits to individuals and society on the whole.

Everyone knows that buying and selling is good for the economy. But by buying “green,” consumers are purchasing stuff not just because they need it - they’re buying eco-goods because they’re also considered to be good for the planet. Of late, many consumers have even boycotted companies or products because of their undesirable policies and practices - compared to a growing number of individuals who recommend environmentally responsible products or services to friends and family.

Hoping that environmental awareness will eventually convince people to buy “green” products, manufacturers now produce products that eco-savvy shoppers supposedly want. Granola cruncher or not, to some, “green” isn’t just about a carbon footprint and rainforests, it’s also about social responsibility and being aware of how businesses affect the environment, our society, and our future resources.

Unfortunately, Earth Day for many has become yet another narcoleptic occasion to enact pointless environmental rituals while denouncing the greed and excesses many also find themselves ankle deep in. (With President Obama commemorating Earth Day this year with a trip to Iowa – one of the largest wind energy production states in the country – perhaps he might also inspire us away from our greedy, over-consumptive, egotistical selves – organizing us to make a personal sacrifice for the greater good.)

Although many sing dirges to global warming, I’ll guess that few really care to do anything. If they did they might start whistling another tune by starting small and making mindful alterations to their purchasing habits, minimizing travel, changing light bulbs, insulating/caulking homes, cleaning with environmentally safe materials and purchasing used stuff instead of new when available. Only by starting small and personal can we begin to grow and work up to noticeable improvements.

With the “green” industry growing - one of few that are – it’s a marvelous opportunity for us to grow bigger and better. For this Earth Day, don’t use meaningless gestures to show the world that you care, but instead, plant seeds that show how you also take care.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-04-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

Golfer's Day
“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.”

~ Dean Martin

When the earth was young and cavemen beat the ground with clubs and danced the boo-ga-loo, crowds gathered round in silent awe. Today the same kind of nonsense is simply called golf.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if you’ve ever overheard conversations on the green – to amateurs who play – sand seems to come alive, clubs become possessed by mischievous sprites, and expensive equipment somehow mystically finds its way into the deep end of ponds.

To those of you who have never chased a puckered ball from here to kingdom come, golf is a sport in which players use assorted clubs including woods, irons, and putters, in an attempt to hit small dimpled spheres from a tee into nearly invisible holes on a putting green in the lowest possible number of strokes. Outside of being a swell way to spend time out of doors, usually in beautiful surroundings, it’s also one of the few ball games that doesn’t use a standardized playing area. Instead, the game is played on uniquely designed golf courses consisting of either 9 or 18 holes.

Golf is the rare sport that can be played by people of any age, and taken up by people of any age (infirmities aside). And motorized golf carts assure the minimum amount of exercise per hour than any other sport except perhaps fishing. Men, women and children alike are drawn to the lure of the lawn. Take for instance golfing superstars like Jack Nicklaus who began playing golf at age ten, Phil Mickelson who began playing golf at age three, Michelle Wie who began playing golf at the age of four and Tiger Woods - possibly the world’s most famous golfer – who began swinging a club when we was only two years old and went on to become the youngest Masters winner ever.

So whether you spend your day chipping away at the putting green, excavating sand traps, fishing “escapees” out of water hazards or crawling around on all fours looking for lost orbs in the tall grass, don’t get “teed” off about grass stains. Remove yours with a mixture of one-third cup white vinegar and two-thirds cup water. Apply the solution to the stain and blot with a clean cloth. Repeat this process until you’ve removed as much green chlorophyll as possible from the spot, and then launder as usual.

Whether you’re an amateur lost on the back nine looking for your ball markers, a sweaty caddie in his shack, or a cocktail swigging old pro who rarely leaves the clubhouse -– with a little bit of luck (and white vinegar) you’ll always look your best while daydreaming of your next bogey.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-03-31T11:18:00.000-07:00

Arthur Murray’s Birthday
“Please send me your last pair of shoes,
worn out with dancing…
so that I might have something to press against my heart.”
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Perhaps you’re able to dance like John Travolta, Savion Glover or Fred Astaire. But for the rest of us who persistently need a helping rhythmic hand, dance lessons continue to be über necessary. Not only a place to dance, have fun and make new friends, Arthur Murray Dance Studios were and continue to be the perfect place to shake your booty to the measure of the music. If you’re determined to dance or you’re just interested in learning a few new moves for that upcoming wedding, Arthur Murray’s is a great place to learn the latest steps.

Arthur Murray was a dance instructor and businessman, whose name is most often associated with the dance studio chain that bears his name. At the age of 17, Arthur Murray began teaching dance at night while working as a draftsman by day and when the Arthur Murray dance studios were finally opened, others followed. His slogan was “If you can walk, we teach you how to dance.”

In the early eighties, after his 30-plus-year marriage to my mom ended, my dad floundered until he discovered the very same Arthur Murray dance studios in a neighboring town. Once there, he quietly and privately took classes. Although he continued to work nights at a neighboring steel mill and fish at every available moment, little did we know that he had also become obsessed by the lure of the ballroom floor. Unfortunately, it was not until after his death did my sister and brother and I finally come to know about his secret passion for the Fox Trot, the Hustle, the Jitterbug, the Mamba, the Quickstep, Rumba, Salsa, Swing, Tango, and even the Two-Step.

While dismantling his bachelor-pad (complete with waterbed—I said it was the 80s!) did we discover his secret stash of dance-duds - a walk-in closet entirely committed to his ever-growing collection of tuxedo jackets, coats with tails, overcoats, and dinner jackets in orchid-lavender, chocolate-brown, fuchsia-pink, sunshine-yellow, platinum-silver, periwinkle-blue, bubblegum-pink, cherry-red, turquoise, purple, scarlet-red, royal-blue, sage-green and Champaign, each with satin trimmed matching pants, and color mated bow ties, socks, fluorescent patent leather dance shoes, fancy cufflinks, silky handkerchiefs, cummerbunds and mountains of crisply laundered and ironed ruffled and flat fronted shirts.

Whether you’re a closeted dancehall gigolo like my dad or just someone who happens to like the shine of patent leather (still always suitable for Easter and summer footwear), remember to keep yours mirror shiny. Polish them using a soft cloth dampened with full strength white vinegar. Just wipe and gently rub until the shine is fully restored and the vinegar is no longer evident.

Although I never saw my dad do more than bait a hook or change the car’s oil, I can now also imagine him shifting his weight, turning, gliding, leaping, dipping, and shuffling - filled with elegant lively movements, show stopping acrobatic actions, erotic Bob Fosse-like gyrations, and, also just quietly yet gracefully dancing. By unearthing his treasure-trove of ballroom dance costumes my notion of my dad will be forever transformed from the clumsy flat-footed father I thought I knew into the suave yet sophisticated Gene Kelly he privately dreamed of becoming.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-03-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

In Honor of National Poetry Month
~ I give you ~

Sonnet to a Slob

Your dishes are piled like skyscrapers
Your sink makes strangers step back.
Rather than bubbles you’re content with troubles
From the housekeeping skills that you lack.

Your dust bunnies corral under couches
Creating powdery white filth and light grime.
It’s not your quirk to go completely berserk
Because dirt in your home’s not a crime.

Your bath wears mold like a parka,
Housing microbes you could never outswim.
Your toilet is frightening; your sink could use brightening
Yours germs sing their own national hymn.

You’ve owned a Bissell, a Dyson, and Hoover,
Though your vacuum now hides in the closet.
You once screamed “Oh heck,” when your cherished Oreck,
Exploded in a cloudy deposit.

Your recycling and garbage are ever growing.
Your refuse overfills each wastebasket.
You’d rather grow bitter than make room for your litter
Or consider to organize, sort, bundle or mask it.

Your laundry’s never sorted by colors.
Your whites are often light-pink.
You’re nothing but smiles while you’re clothes sit in piles
And your dainties linger under your sink.

Your gauchos, white sandals and nude nylons,
Lost scungies, tube socks and shoulder pads,
Your hangers scamper while you dig through your hamper
‘Cause your closet’s filled with dated doodads.

Your grooming skills are not quite polished.
The wrinkles you wear leave you rancorous.
Your trousers are rumpled and your shirt’s clearly crumpled
Some might say that you’re ironing-cantankerous.

Your stove-top is covered with drippings
From the dinner you made yesterday.
Your spilled coffee has thickened, the rest leaves you sickened
Your home is a worrisome display.

Your coat is hung from a doorknob.
Your wet towel’s strewn on your bed.
You’re a cleaning sinner who trips over last night’s dinner
While you imagine a tidier home in your head.

While cleaning isn’t for all,
It’s a necessary task in each home.
Tidy up logically while cleaning ecologically,
And end your piggish syndrome.

Consider the words of this clean-freak.
Even though I can rant on and on.
Though I assert you needn’t convert
‘Cause with effort your mess will be gone.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-03-13T14:19:00.000-07:00

Albert Einstein’s Birthday
“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind,
Then what are we to think of an empty desk?”
~ Albert Einstein

Overflowing ashtrays, piles of books, coffee stained napkins scribbled with half-baked theories, mangled envelopes, semi-scribed journals, purloined pens, dog-eared dailies, notebooks, piles of paper and mountains of unopened letters…the strictness of order and the opposing efficiency of chaos? Well, I dunno’ about that. Albert Einstein may have been brilliant but to this neat-nick, I think he must have been a complete and total slob.

Theories of relativity aside - nobody needs to drop an apple onto my head for me to notice both sides of the tidiness fence – those who see the advantage of having a messy desk and those who slip into flames when a pen is left askew. (Okay. I admit it. I just described myself.)

While revealing your true inner being, if your desk is nasty maybe you’re just disorganized by nature, maybe your productivity skills are rusty, you’ve decided to cozy up to your own special brand of disorder or perhaps you’re the kind of person who – when finished with something - it spirals into a whirling abyss of invisibility. Although your mass-of-mess is mounding into Mount St. Helens, Mount Fuji or even Mount Everest, you’ve become blinded – and to your delusional sightless eyes, your chaos ceases to exist.

Finding the middle ground between what’s tidy and untidy can be slippery. A study at Columbia Business School found that people who keep a dashing desk actually spend more time shuffling through stuff than those who keep it mildly messy - systematizing and salvaging stuff takes time. And when it comes to a messy desk, time is of the essence – for it was our sloppy scientist who once said, “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.”

Ebbing and flowing like the tide, when your desk is out of control, wrestling your stack of stuff can be absolutely aggravating. Slob that he was, our birthday boy also once said; “Out of clutter find simplicity; from discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

When your messes reach maximum density, make a hole into your Himalayan-sized-hysteria - a gap into your Alpine-shaped-mishap by keeping your tidying trouble-free. Simply commit yourself to digging through your disaster for just five minutes a day.

And once you’ve reached China – umm-errr - your desk top, consider this simple, eco-friendly way of polishing it: Use two parts olive oil mixed with one part lemon juice. Pour just a few drops on a soft cloth, wipe away the dust, scuffs, and fingerprints, and make your wooden desk shine. No sprays, aerosols or chemicals needed—just two natural ingredients, and voila, a clean and polished surface.

Although a clean desk to some may symbolically resemble a blank slate (Yoo-hoo! Is anybody home?) I find peace when my desk is shipshape and tidy. While cleaning yours, you may not find Amelia Earhart or Jimmy Hoffa, some missing masterpieces by Rembrandt, Manet or Vermeer, or even the meaning of life but hopefully you’ll discover a newfound semblance of order and – ultimately - the long-lost surface of of your desk.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-03-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

Peanut Butter Lovers' Day
“There's nothing like unrequited love to take
all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.”
~ Charlie Brown

Always oily, sticky and gloppy, creamy to extra chunky, pedigreed-and-pricey or down-and-dirty-cheap-o - who among us doesn’t just completely dig the taste of peanut butter?

Because of its immense popularity, peanut butter is one of our nation’s numero-uno delicacies. It’s so beloved that the month of March is now named National Peanut month. (Unfortunate for those who suffer from Arachibutyrophobia – the hysteria from peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. But most especially unfortunate for the millions who suffer from allergies to nuts!)

By 1903, Dr. George Washington Carver, considered by many to be the Father of the Peanut Industry, began his peanut research at the Tuskegee Institute. Peanut butter had already been invented before Carver’s began his horticultural experiments, but many wrongly credit him as being the Father of Peanut Butter. Despite missing out on that really big patent opportunity, the ingenious Dr. Carver did, however, create hundreds of uses for the luscious legume.

Today, the West Coast of the United States prefers chunky, while the East Coast favors creamy brands, but regardless of texture, the average American boy will have consumed approximately 1,500 peanut butter sandwiches by the age of 18. And just one acre of peanuts supplies enough of the legumes to manufacture 30,000 sandwiches.

Today, millions of people pine for peanut butter, and while it’s a common staple in most homes, and it’s relatively inexpensive, it’s not just a condiment for kids. For instance, Demi Moore cures her sugar cravings by snacking on peanut butter, Al Roker has a spoonful of peanut butter every morning, and second First Daughter Sasha Obama loves her daily dose of peanut butter as well. Although it’s virtually every kid's bread and butter, other well-known “Big Kid” fans include Barbara Walters, Bill Clinton, Billy Joel, Cher, Jack Nicholson, Julia Roberts, Larry King, and even Madonna.

My partner, Richard (whose favorite brand happens to be ‘Crazy Richard’s’) easily downs half a jar of the stuff with a spoon every afternoon, while I, on the other hand, enjoy a double-decker peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead. Using three slices of bread, I smear peanut butter (chunky style, of course!) on the inside of the two outer slices, followed by spreading jelly or jam onto both sides of the inner slice. Sounds complicated but making it this way eliminates the outside of the sandwich from ever becoming soggy. (Truth be told, it also eliminates my need for a second peanut butter and jelly sandwich!)

But if you happen to get a glop on more than your knife, spoon or bread, remove peanut butter stains from just about any non-porous surface by scraping it up and then wiping it away with warm sudsy water. For excess oil, pile on the baking soda. Sprinkle the area liberally, wait for about ten minutes, wipe away the excess and you’re good to go.

Nutritious and versatile, glop-alicious and good, this month make Dr. Carver proud - remember to go nuts over peanut butter.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-02-23T08:19:00.000-08:00

National Battery Day
“Mind is the battery cell,
Intelligence is the switch.”
~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

No, National Battery Day is not meant to give you permission to assault people—thankfully, there is no holiday or any day when that is acceptable. This National Battery Day is brought to you by the companies that produce those things that are “not included” whenever you buy your kid a toy that needs a power source.

Yearly, Americans buy approximately three billion batteries to juice-up their cell phones, computers, radios, toys, watches, hearing aids…you name it. At an average length of two inches, strung end to end, those “disposable” energy sources would be 94,700 miles long – enough to circle the equator almost four times!

And although mercury was banned in the manufacture of alkaline batteries many years ago, many still contain small amounts of this troublesome material and - for some stupid reason - this is an unavoidable part of the mining and manufacturing processes. Ya’ see, when the other metals in alkaline batteries, like zinc and manganese, are mined, small amounts of mercury end up in the raw ore and aren't removed.

While some establishments accept rechargeable batteries for recycling, most refuse to take the alkaline variety wrongly assuming that because they “supposedly” don’t contain any toxic metals, they can just be put into the trash with all of our other garbage.

But when tossed out with the trash, those batteries eventually pollute lakes and streams - they can leach from landfills and therefore expose the environment and ground water to lead and acid and mercury. But between you and me - I think that we can and should recycle all those AAA, AA, C and D alkaline batteries.

And I’m apparently not alone in my thinking. Programs like the Big Green Box program are doing what they can to keep alkaline batteries out of landfills by recycling and recovering the metals in every type of battery. From their U.S. collection locations alkaline batteries are sorted and shipped to a Canadian facility that crushes them to recover the zinc, manganese, mercury and steel.

Walgreen’s, IKEA and Whole Foods, among other businesses, also offer collection sites for your used alkaline batteries. But in the states that “require” consumers to recycle their alkaline batteries, there are many more businesses that participate.

The need for batteries to run our 21st Century lifestyle is only going to grow, so instead of continuing to purchase something that’s bound to stop working, may I suggest that you consider using the newfangled rechargeable batteries instead? Unlike the rechargables from years back, the newest varieties can be recharged easily at home or in your place of business at any available electrical wall outlet, and they actually hold their charge.

And my new, most favorite kind of rechargables are the ones that can actually be charged via a USB port on your computer. They're ingenious! However, I've only found these USB-type rechargables online.

Many of the newest types of rechargeable batteries can be re-used up to 1,000 times, which, if you add it up, is a tremendous savings over their life span even though up-front they cost more to buy than the “disposable” varieties.

So - next time you're out shopping for batteries, forget the ones that will die on you in a week, and instead, pick up lithium-ion or NiMH types - simply because they contain fewer toxic metals, hold a charge, and won't pollute the planet. And just think - while you're saving precious cash and valuable resources, and safely using your new rechargeable batteries over and over and over again, that poor little Energizer Bunny will have keeled over and died a long time ago!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-02-13T21:55:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day
“Most of us can read the writing on the wall;
we just assume it's addressed to someone else.”
~Ivern Ball

Some fables – ancient or modern - ooze with the doe-eyed dedication of imagined perfect individuals, fairy-tale characters, supermodels or movie stars, and the empowerment gained by a sweetheart’s strength. Syrupy romance or not, such tales prove that affection, devotion, tenderness, obsession, and - dare I say love – is eternal. Take for instance Guinevere and Lancelot, Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn, Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe (well maybe not the best of examples), Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor (again and again and again), John Lennon and Yoko Ono, Johnny Cash and June Carter, Sir Elton John and David Furnish, J. Howard Marshall and Anna Nichole Smith, and even those star-crossed lovers Tony and Maria or their Elizabethan role-models, Romeo and Juliet.

The name Romeo has become synonymous with “lover” because - as a character from Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” - he experiences love. What Juliet, however, shares with Romeo are deeper feelings, genuine emotions and are more unique than his puppy love. She shatters Romeo’s shallow view of love, moving him to speak some of the most beautiful love poetry ever written…”When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.” – “Love goes toward love.”

Notes of infatuation, memos of obsession or passionate communications new or old have appeared throughout time as scribbled romantic words, hearts-n-arrows and tangled initials – even on the walls of Juliet Capulet’s house in Verona.

The celebrated balcony where Juliet pined for Romeo, has, for centuries been a pilgrimage for lovers, and remains one of Italy’s most visited sites. Lovers’ graffiti left on the house’s walls and doors include passionate scribbled words, letters, doodles and even post-it-like notes stuck on with bubble gum. As an act of preservation, Juliet’s house is regularly scrubbed clean of its love notes.

On this Valentine’s Day, if your personal Romeo (or Juliet) should leave missives of love scrawled or meticulously written in either crayon or pencil, breathe easy in knowing that baking soda can remove both from walls. To remove your sweetheart’s sonnet, just make a paste of baking soda with a bit of water, scrub the lovelorn area, and then rinse with clean water.

The saying goes “Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain forever.” So whether they’re rhymes for your Honey, limericks from your Love, couplets for your pet, odes from your Beloved, prose for your Precious, or verse from your True Love, remember to allow your words of devotion to speak from your heart and not from your wall.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-02-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

Buddy Holly
"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
~ Berthold Auerbach

With dreams bigger than the wide-open Texan sky, nerdy glasses and fresh-face, Buddy Holly -- with his facade of smiling innocence and wholesome good looks -- became America's kid next door. This February 3rd marks the 50th anniversary of "The Day the Music Died," when Holly's brilliant potential was cut short at the age of 22, after the small plane he shared with Ritchie Valens (17) and the Big Bopper (28) crashed in Clear Lake, Iowa.

Born to Ella and Lawrence Odell Holley, on September 7, 1936, Charles Hardin Holley was born in Lubbock, Texas -- then a home to blinding dust storms.

The Dust Bowl or the Dirty Thirties was an environmental and human tragedy set off by decades of continued drought and land abuse (some fear another dust bowl could be around the corner). Devoid of crop rotation, endless over-plowing and without methods to end erosion, the virgin topsoil of the Great Plains -- Texas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Colorado and Kansas -- just blew away.

What didn't blow away, however, was the budding American singer-songwriter and pioneer of rock and roll -- considered one of the greatest musicians of all time -- Buddy Holly. Although his success lasted only a year and a half, his music was to be admired, interpreted, and even performed by The Beatles and The Rolling Stones.

Also not blown away but now probably gathering dust are the huge black horn-rims that made almost every girl or guy look like Buddy Holly as well. Corrective, safety, photosensitive, 3D, bifocal, trifocal, progressive, rimless, wacky like Elton John's or Dame Edna's or horn-rimmed like Buddy Holly's -- dusty or not, all spectacles need cleaning.

To do so, never use any soaps or anything that contains ammonia. Instead, run warm tap water over both sides of each lens to wash away the oo-and-goo that may have settled on them. Then proceed to clean them with a fifty-fifty mixture of white vinegar and distilled water in a spray bottle.

Also, never dry eyeglasses with anything that began as wood -- paper towels, toilet paper or tissue -- because they contain abrasives that'll scratch lenses. Instead, cut up an old t-shirt, or better yet, dry eyeglass lenses with silk from an old necktie. Remember to wash your homemade cleaning cloths often because the dust and dirt trapped within them will eventually scratch your lenses, too.

When we think of the fifties -- a world where teenagers greeted rock-n-roll as if it were a rainstorm in the dust bowl -- we think of Buddy Holly's clean-cut, nerdy yet iconic image, and a time when everything -- not just eyeglasses -- seemed so much simpler, and visibly crystal-clean.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-01-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

Inspire Your Heart with Art
“After enlightenment, the laundry.”
~Zen Proverb

While climbing the metaphorical slippery cliffs between canyons of paintings of cherubs and canvasses smeared with what almost resembles a newborn’s fecal matter, most of us plummet into art-idiocy without a net. What the “slurping-Champagne-noses-in-the-air” types shower with praise and what the “common-Joe” thinks stinks are often one and the same. Art, much like everything else, is a completely personal experience. Clued-in or not – forming your own opinion is what art appreciation is all about.

Artists stimulate our senses with line, shape, form, space, texture and color. And throughout the ages humans have tinkered with these same basic elements with an almost primal urge to create something where there once was nothing. But to understand it all a bit more clearly, with a little guidance, anyone can muster enough know-how certain to make even Andy Warhol do flip-flops in his grave. I hope that my super-abbreviated history of art, below, might be of help:

Although they’re priceless, antiquities often seem like objects dug out of your neighbor’s marigold patch, and even though they’re in prized museum collections, they kinda’ look like they’ve been glued together in someone’s basement.

On the other hand, the Greeks and Romans made idealized sculptures of naked, mostly-male bodies that now unfortunately have missing parts…noses, ears, arms and other “protrusions.” (Ummm? A fig leaf anyone?)

Although not as old as the Roman Empire, 800-year-old medieval artwork often seems cruder than the shattered bits of this-and-that found in the antiquities gallery. But, being the art connoisseur that you’re now becoming, you, too, can now “Oooh-and-Ahhh” because you can see beyond their shortcomings and seemingly primitive and highly stylized intricacies, instead.

Next stop – the early Renaissance. This is where you’ll expect to see a lot of spooky, two-dimensional, religious-like figures stiffly gesturing and wearing glittery, gold leafed halos and flowing robes, usually posed in some unnatural way, supposedly jabbering on about one moral tale or another.

Often less religious and infinitely more “sugary sweet,” Baroque and Rococo art introduces us to the “more-is-more” school of thought, in which slickly painted voluptuous ladies, cherubs zooming around the clouded heavens, heaps of flowers, the occasional goose or peacock, lutes, mountains of expensive looking fabrics and tassels, tassels, tassels fill the canvases.

Step into the Impressionistic and Post-Impressionistic galleries and the subject matter all of a sudden comes back down to earth by offering textural paintings of real-life, everyday junk and ordinary people in commonplace settings and situations. These were scandalous in their day, but now seem super-tame to our jaded eyes.

Like I’ve tried to explain, art is for everyone – but not everyone will like everything, and that’s OK. What I like best is artwork that shows everyday, ordinary folks doing regular things. And, being the cleaning nut that I am, I always get the biggest rise outta’ seeing great works of art that depict people doing chores. The famous Impressionist paintings of Degas, the Post-Impressionist images of Toulouse-Lautrec, the modern paintings of Pablo Picasso, and even the artwork of the prominent American Pop artist, Roy Lichtenstein, all made paintings of folks doing, of all things, their laundry. How mundane, yet how heavenly (for me, at least!).

When artists have creative blocks they doodle, excercise, listen to music, read, take a drive, go for a walk, write, study works of the old masters or procrastinate by doing boring things like the laundry. But when your washing machine has a block – creative or not – it’s a whole lot easier to resolve. To unclog soap scum formations from the inside of your washing machine, pour a whole gallon of white vinegar into the washer tub and run it full cycle. The white vinegar magically melts the built-up gunk away.

The motivation to create can come from anywhere. Throughout history works of art have inspired confidence, innovation, passion, science, wellness, and sometimes – lucky for us - even more great art. But in my case, silly as it seems, those paintings of folks doing chores have motivated me to do mountains of laundry. Now that’s inspiration!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-01-20T15:14:00.001-08:00

In With the New

If our last president - George Bush - had said in his farewell speech, "Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood clean from my hand?” we might have thought he was actually having a moment of clarity and remorse. But unfortunately, these words are Shakespeare’s from Macbeth, and not W’s.

First or last, it seems most Presidents since the founding of our country have come in various shapes and sizes, ages, disciplines and principles. But what many of them seem to have in common is their unwavering obsession with cleanliness…literally or figuratively.

For instance, George Washington had a thing about clean fingernails while Ulysses S. Grant apparently had squeaky-clean skin. Before his election, Abraham Lincoln was clean-shaven, and John Fitzgerald Kennedy always kept a clean desk.

Grover Cleveland cooperated with Theodore Roosevelt to clean up state politics, Herbert Hoover committed himself to pollution-free streams and clean beaches, Gerald Ford dedicated himself to cleaning up pollution, and Bill Clinton blocked Republican attempts to roll back the Clean Water and Air Acts.

On the other side of the coin - Richard Nixon stepped down to allow someone else to clean up his mess. Ronald Reagan made certain that the pools of the rich were kept clean, and George Bush received a clean bill of health while tens of millions of Americans went without healthcare.

And while facing similar problems President Obama will have to address, it was Franklin Delano Roosevelt who said at his own inauguration “We face the arduous days that lie before us in the warm courage of the national unity…with the clean satisfaction that comes from the stern performance of duty by old and young alike.”

With his dream team of young and old scientists, policy experts, and economists set to toil under the gloom and doom of rising unemployment, home foreclosures, global turmoil, the destruction of our civil liberties, world hunger and starvation, genocide, and an ever-looming climate crisis, the historic inauguration of Barack Obama falls in the worst economic climate in three generations.

It was Shakespeare who also wrote in Macbeth about potions offered up to extraordinary and substantial effect. Hopefully our new president can perform his own brand of magic by allaying our fears, restoring our national dignity, reversing the economic crisis, creating green jobs, declaring peace, and cleaning up the eight-year-old Bush-Cheney stain on the fabric of our country.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-01-18T10:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday,
Rush Limbaugh & Howard Stern
“Don't be afraid of opposition.
Remember, a kite rises against, not with the wind.”
~ Hamilton Wright Mabie

Cleaver or stupid, dirty or clean, good or bad, right or wrong, right or left, safe or dangerous, simple or complicated – Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern, literally and metaphorically face away from one another, and move through the world in opposite directions. If perchance they were to meet, they’d be like oil and water.

Rush Limbaugh - the stereotypical conservative talk show host, is sharply critical of feminism, marriage equality, environmentalism and climate science, drug abuse (except, hypocritically, his own), and is chronically inaccurate and distorting on so many issues, and equally unaccountable to anyone but his advertisers. Limbaugh was born on January 12th and is a radical Right American radio jockey, as well as an ultra-conservative political talking head.

On the other end of the spectrum lies Howard Stern – who’s openly tempted by strippers and female porn stars, fantasizes about sex with lesbians (while he’s likely reviled by most of them), and is often the target of stalkers and death threats. The cranky, scatological, sexualized, “sophomoronic,” and self-proclaimed "King of All Media," is a true Libertarian, an on-again-off-again eco-crusader and, just like Limbaugh, also an American radio host and television personality. (Hmmm? He’s was also born January 12th. Any astrologists out there wanna help explain this phenomenon?)

It’s amazing that these two men were born on the same day and followed similar career paths. They both ended up doing the same jobs, but each doing it so completely differently, each an absolute original, and both developing committed cult followings. Upon closer inspection, you’ll notice that one is a wacky, out-of-control, bombastic and self-promoting, insecure yet opinionated larger-than-life overachiever. And the other one – um, well - he’s also a wacky, out-of-control, bombastic and self-promoting, insecure yet opinionated larger-than-life overachiever. They’re polar opposites. But the contradiction is in their similarities – an almost parasitic/host scenario – two sides to a bad penny. Together you’ve got something like gale force winds feeding an out of control brush fire – one bad thing making yet another bad thing even worse.

And what a wonderful metaphor for contradiction - oil and water – the two most precious resources on earth. (No…I’m no longer referring to Rush Limbaugh and Howard Stern.)

There’s no substitute for water. In fact, the United Nations considers access to clean drinkable water as a fundamental human right. Only three percent of the water on earth is potable freshwater; the rest is saltwater, and only 20 percent of the world’s population has running water, while more than one billion people have absolutely no access to clean water. Think about that the next time you leave the tap running while you brush your teeth!

But oil? (In my opinion - the guys are kinda’ oily, too, but hey, we’re now into the “serious” part of the blog!). There’s precious little fossil fuel oil on the planet, and we’re going through it like there is no tomorrow. But, there are mountains of environmentally friendly, clean and renewable alternatives such as wind, solar, hydro and biofuels. Think about that the next time you brush your teeth, too—hey, you gotta think of something, so why not something eco-conscientious?

Dirty or clean, good or bad, right or wrong, safe or dangerous, simple or complicated – it’s all about the choices we make. And that includes listening to either Rush Limbaugh or Howard Stern, too.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Please consider the environment.

2009-01-08T04:11:00.000-08:00

Fruitcake Toss Day
“It's not the thing you fling, it's the fling itself.”
~ Chris Stevens (“Northern Exposure”)

Call me a fuddy-duddy but I actually crave this mysterious and marbled, everlasting, unyielding, imperishable, rock-hard Christmas delicacy before and after the holidays. (Minus the marbled and rock hard part – I think I may have just described myself. Hmmm?) I really do eat them and have found that the cheaper the fruitcake, the better the taste. (But so much for my low-end gastronomy.)

My burning question is “Does anybody really have a clue what’s actually hiding in a packaged holiday fruitcake?” It usually weighs more than a doorstop (I’m just guessing here) and if wrapped in contact paper, it might perhaps last indefinitely.

Nelly men like myself aside (yes, I take pride in being a Fruitcake!) – fruitcakes of the baked variety have a longstanding tradition. Consider its origins found in references from Roman times. Recipes that included barley mash, honey, pine nuts, pomegranate seeds, raisins and spices slapped and stuck together for traveling crusaders and hunters on the go – the Clif Bar, if you will, of antiquity. Historically, they were made with the intent to be eaten an entire year later. In fact, in an attempt to display ladylike restraint, moderation and fine taste - The Queen Mum (while showing no such restraint when it came to her gin) waited an entire year to eat hers too.

Most modern fruitcakes are mass-manufactured to accommodate Yule-time mass-consumption, and are actually comprised “mostly” of good stuff, and are scrumptious to some, yet vile to others. Store-bought varieties are ready-to-serve but – unfortunately – because they’ve not had time to fully congeal, leave behind telltale moist-n-murky stains.

While dried fruits and nuts, mounds of sugar, flour and booze painfully glued together resulting in a cake more impenetrable than kryptonite may be yummy to someone like myself – others might prefer consuming potting soil. Created just for folks who’d rather eat dirt, I proudly present “Fruitcake Toss Day.”

To celebrate the festivities of Fruitcake Toss Day, your first challenge is to not open the package – to most, this is a given, not a challenge! (And don’t leave it unwrapped just for re-gifting purposes either. “Oh…a fruitcake! You shouldn’t have. Really! Harrumph.) While not much can damage the bugger, hurling its unprotected, sticky and slimy carcass might offer some unforeseen oily offenses worse than the consumption of the fruitcake itself.

The laws of nature truly apply to this ritual. It was Sir Isaac Newton who said it best, “What goes up, must come down.” And the splatter of a tossed fruitcake is far greasier than you would ever imagine. Therefore, for oil on your driveway, sidewalk or garage floor – from fruitcake tosses or the ordinary automobile leakage - sprinkle baking soda over the spots to absorb them. Then, add just a little bit of water to the baking soda - enough to form a paste. Next, with a brush in your hand or a scrubby pad under the sole of your shoe, work it up. Rinse with clean water, and repeat if necessary.

Fruitcake Toss Day can be a family event, neighborhood event, or just a private way to relieve holiday stress. Either fully entombed in its original wrapping or left to the elements, Fruitcake Toss Day is your opportunity to toss, chuck, hurl, pitch, lob or heave this weighty lump of wasted calories and say, “Look! There! Up in the sky! It’s…a fruitcake?”

(Word of caution: Remember - this isn’t Dodge ball. Flying fruitcakes leave welts.)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” and “Clean Body: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing Yourself” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/ ) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). His books can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.
Please consider the environment.

2008-12-31T06:11:00.000-08:00

New Years Eve
(And National Bicarbonate of Soda Day)

While watching the last moments of ’08 slip by -
Tossing back cocktails, forlorn and cockeyed.
At the stroke of twelve, hugging all with delight -
Men in tuxedos, and leggy ladies in dresses skintight.

We find our way home, somewhat assembled – quasi,
After self-medicating from our host’s ample supply.

We crawl under the sheets, to avoid the daylight,
Recollecting the night’s actions with bleary hindsight.

But by making resolutions while a barfly,
We’re bound to set standards so high we can’t try.
So in future, make decisions in sober daylight.
Instead of dim-witted – they’ll be dynamite.
~Michael DeJong

Expectations get lowered, trousers get lowered, interest rates have been lowered, with meds our blood pressure and anxiety levels get lowered, the drinking age in some states has been lowered, and our pensions and 401Ks have also been lowered. But on New Year’s Eve - like clockwork - millions of people still insist on freezing in lowered temperatures huddled in massive crowds in New York City’s Times Square as they watch in amazement as the gigantic crystal ball - too - is lowered.

But it’s not just in the hustle and bustle of big cities that things get lowered in celebration of the New Year. Take for instance Bethlehem, Pennsylvanian’s 25-pound fiberglass illuminated Peep; or Easton, Maryland’s grotesquely enormous imitation of a steamed red crab; or Lebanon, Pennsylvania’s seven-and-a-half-foot “fit-to-be-eaten” bologna; or Mount Olive, North Carolina’s three-foot tall shimmering pickle; or New Orleans’ paper mache gumbo pot; or Plymouth, Wisconsin’s super huge, yet thankfully artificial, hunk-o-cheese; or Port Clinton, Ohio’s 20-foot 600-pound fiberglass walleye; or Raleigh, North Carolina’s 1,250-pound copper acorn; and let’s not forget Key West, Florida’s local Drag Queen in her glittering six-foot tall, red, high-heeled shoe. Everywhere, it seems, things get lowered to ring in the New Year.

Descending “stuff” aside, many people look to the New Year as an uplifting fresh start. But for most of us, what it really becomes is a fresh start to old habits. (You know how it goes - in one year and out the other?) This year, instead of New Years Eve being a fresh start to last year’s bad habits how about it becoming a fresh start to freshness?

As many of you already know - New Years Eve or not - baking soda sparkles like a freshly fallen first snow. (Somewhat appropriate considering that here in the eastern portion of the United States, it’s winter.) White, powdery and soft to the touch, odorless and inert upon inspection, baking soda most commonly loiters in the fridge behind leftovers, lunchmeat and lettuce. Not just great as a refrigerator deodorizer, it’s remarkably useful when sprinkled, scattered, spread, strewn, or kept in your closet, kitty litter, crisper or carport. (And you’re probably wondering to yourself “Hmmm? What’s this got to do with New Years Eve?”)

On New Year’s Eve, while the rest of the world is lowering wedges of cheese, copper acorns, blackened gumbo pots, illuminated Peeps, shimmering pickles, steaming crabs, super-sized bolognas, walleyes and - yes - even Drag Queens, many of us blindly lower our standards…especially while inebriated, and belly-ing up to the all-you-can-eat buffets oblivious to the affordable booze and cheap chow that we’re consuming.

On New Year’s morning – when you’re feeling anything but fresh - baking soda (bicarbonate of soda) works great for that “morning after” bellyache. Just mix one quarter teaspoon of baking soda into a quarter cup of water in your choice of a freshly rinsed highball, lowball, wine glass, champagne flute, martini glass, shot glass, brandy snifter, or beer mug. Give it a swirl, take a deep breath, toss back the swig, wait for that inevitable refreshing belch, and greet the spanking New Year with a smile.

Happy New Year!
(And yes…I really did write the poem.)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. (http://www.greenisuniversal.com/ask_mr_green.php) “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-12-22T08:02:00.000-08:00

Christmas
“Roses are reddish.

Violets are bluish.

If it weren't for Christmas,

We'd all be Jewish.”

~Benny Hill

For every occasion - Christmas, Hanukah or otherwise – my partner Richard and I have a code for gift giving. Whatever it is - it has to be consumable, edible, drinkable, burnable (Okay…I know what you’re thinking, - but no. I’m talking about candles or incense.), or time sensitive things like tickets to the theater or movie passes.

During the Holidays, gifts, of course, are important to many – especially kids. When I was a rug-rat, my mom used to make tons of stuff for us each Christmas. During the year she’d knit and crochet sweaters, goofy hats, horrible scarves and oversized mittens from thread she rescued from outdated knitwear that she’d unravel. (Funny how our hats always seemed to be the ones first offered up for the neighborhood snowmen.)

The things she would knit weren’t always the best fitting or the prettiest, but in that moment – on Christmas Eve when the lights of the tree sparkled, with the scent of her handmade candles everywhere, unwrapping gifts to the quiet hum of carols - we knew that she had made them - stitch by stitch, night after night. The fact is, my mother was a frugal Dutch immigrant who had survived World War II as a teenager, scraping by with her family to survive the occupation, and she learned how to make magic out of nothing. (Shine-ola!) Nothing went to waste, everything was re-used, and making things by hand was just what ya’ did.

She sewed things, too. There were ill-fitting pants (Imagine this…pink and green seer-sucker hip-huggers with fringe. Ooo-la-laaa! …I wish I still had them!), the occasional coat, for my sister a dress without buttons (she ran out of time) and one year, from a bolt of fabric she found in a clearance bin, she created matching florescent orange Nehru shirts for my sister Mags, my older brother, John, and me. (Presented in our “glowing” holiday finery, I’m certain that the ladies from church thought that we had joined up with the local Hare Krishnas.)

But when mom baked it was easy to forgive all of her fashion transgressions. She made endless batches of homemade oatmeal bars, lemon squares, pecan sandies, chocolate chip cookies (salvaging the chocolate from our Halloween booty), and our favorite - British toffee. She’d also decorate canisters rescued during the year with smartly applied compositions cut from the previous year’s Christmas cards, ribbons and paper, before filling them and delivering them to our schoolteachers, Sunday School instructors, Scout leaders, band directors, and just about anyone else she had on her list.

Mom also saved glass jars in which to store her homemade preserves…apple and pear butter, and cherry, grape, apricot, strawberry, and even tomato jams. She’d prepare them when the fruits were in season, covering each with a protective coating of paraffin and then storing the packed preserves away in the pantry. And with the left over jars and the remaining wax she’d fill each with a wick and create a mountain of Christmas candles. Decorated and always available, these too made great last minute memorable holiday gifts.

Of course there were some store bought toys that came and went but the ones she and my dad made in the shop downstairs were - and still are - the ones I cherish most. There were cutouts of circus animals made from scraps of pine painted with remainders of house paint. There were puppets sewn from clothing we had outgrown or detested (Definitely not the Nehru shirts!). There were also toys salvaged from discount bins and resale shops that were repainted and repaired to like-new.

My folks were resourceful. As recent immigrants to this country they offered each of their three children – in my opinion – a magical childhood. And although neither of them had more than grade-school educations, their wealth of knowledge, skills and shear “chutzpa” made us feel like the luckiest family on the block.

So instead of having a “Green Christmas,” perhaps we make this a “Homemade” kind of Holiday…where small, meaningful, handmade gifts from the heart are delivered in wonderful recycled wrappings and enormous bows.

Remember, it’s not gifts that make it a merry Christmas, happy Hanukah or a totally cheerful Kwanzaa…it’s the special brand of holiday spirit we share with others that makes it all worthwhile.

Happy Holidays!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. (http://www.greenisuniversal.com/ask_mr_green.php) “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-12-18T08:01:00.000-08:00

National
Chocolate Covered
“Anything”
Day
“Researchers have discovered that chocolate produced
some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.
The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two,
but can't remember what they are.”
~Matt Lauer on NBC's Today Show

Wackos the world over have been covering anything and everything imaginable with chocolate…ants, bacon, bananas, coffee beans, dates, apples, edamame, grasshoppers, grub worms, jalapeno peppers, assorted nuts (In my opinion, nuts just take up space where the chocolate oughta’ be.), pickles, potato chips, pretzels, seaweed, slugs, strawberries, Twinkies, and the ever-popular - sweet on the outside but nasty on the inside - chocolate covered onions. Pregnant or not, just about everything tastes better when slathered in a yummy coating of chocolate…well almost everything.

Sure - many eat chocolate all by itself for the sheer enjoyment of it—me being one of them. But in case you need any convincing, there are those “urban legend” health benefits associated with eating chocolate that might inspire you to celebrate this incredible holiday. For instance, chocolate supposedly slows down the aging process (It may not be scientifically proven. But not eat chocolate? Why take the risk?), invigorates the circulatory system, rejuvenates the brain, prevents coughs – and though it’s never been medically proven – many people swear that chocolate is an aphrodisiac that arouses their sexual desires as well. Convinced yet?

So let’s review: Chocolate contains agents found naturally in the human brain that stimulate lust, mood changes, euphoria, an increased heart rate, feelings of well being, and - in the event that romance is part of the plan - improved endurance. OK, OK, it might be a bit of a stretch to call chocolate a “love potion” - but if nothing else – it sure tastes delicious and makes ya’ feel good. So how bad could it be?!

Eating chocolate just to make you feel good, or even eating it with the expectation that it will improve the vibes down “you know where,” there is always a down side (every action has a reaction!). Because of all its empty calories, too much chocolate unfortunately can also add a few pounds to an already existing “spare tire,” “guzzle gut,” or “jelly-belly.” (When I’m a few pounds over my limit my partner, Richard, sings to me, “It must be jelly ‘cause jam don’t shake that way.” Sure…I could give up chocolate – but, hey - I'm no quitter!)

On National Chocolate Covered “Anything” Day - after you’ve finished totally indulging yourself, and have dipped everything imaginable into the luscious dark velvety goodness of melted chocolate, you’re certain to have the telltale kiss of it on you somewhere. To eliminate the incriminating evidence that you indeed are a chocoholic – the first step is to admit that you are powerless over chocolate. Next, begin removing as much of the hardened brown goop as you can. (No…sucking it out of the garment, or licking it out of the grout isn’t an option! Trust me on this, I’ve tried!) Follow by rinsing the area in room temperature water and sprinkling the stained area with baking soda. Then add about a tablespoon of white vinegar…the “Mr. Wizard”-like reaction should lift the stain much like the chocolate lifted your spirits. Then just wash as you normally would.

Celebrate this day – it comes but once a year. So in honor of the sweetest day on the calendar, write the words "gobble,” “wolf,” “munch,” “chomp,” “devour” - or simply – “dine upon” chocolate at the very top of your To-Do list. That way, even if you’re a natural born procrastinator - at least this time - you'll definitely see one of your tasks to completion.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. (http://www.greenisuniversal.com/ask_mr_green.php) “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-12-14T06:10:00.000-08:00

Christmas Card Day
“Mail your packages early so the
post office can lose them in time for Christmas.”

~ Johnny Carson

In the early 19th century it was customary to drop-a-line - envelopes filled with seasonal messages on calling cards or in letters - to both family and friends at the holidays.

As a marriage of art and technology, Sir Henry Cole - founder of London’s Victoria and Albert Museum - commissioned artist John Calcott-Horsley to whip up a card displaying jovial folks enjoying the festivities of the season paired with images of feeding and clothing the poor and the words “A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.”

Back then - Christmas cards were expensive because they were individually crafted and delivered in person. Faced with a predicament of mountains of Christmas greetings to send, in 1843 Henry Cole invented the first printed Christmas cards.

Delivered by mail or carried by hand many still send and receive Christmas cards. Embellished with images of gingerbread houses, sparkling landscapes, Santa Claus tumbling down a chimney, rooftops cluttered with reindeer, googly-eyed cats tied up in ribbons, red-faced and hysterical babies presented on Santa’s knee or an ornery dog writing holiday greetings in the snow…we’ve all gotten them and sent them just the same.

Sending cards through the mail, for many, is a way to celebrate the holiday season be it Hanukkah, Christmas or Kwanzaa. As an expression of acknowledgment to those we share time with throughout the year, we toil over notes of recognition.

But with the rising cost of mail services, not to mention the price of the cards themselves, shopping for them, and then being faced with an inability to compose something meaningful and witty - Ecards have become the twenty-first-century replacement for a pile of envelopes stuffed thought the holiday mail slot.

While deemed impersonal or déclassé by many, Ecards are eco-friendly (no paper, no ink, no trucking, no shipping, no packaging, no displaying, blah, blah, blah) and they leave infinitesimally tiny environmental footprints.

But if your “Ho-Ho-Ho” message must be delivered in that time honored tradition of being an ink-smeared exchange with a friend, relative or colleague – remember that blots from a pen are easily removed from cloth by placing lemon juice directly onto the spot. Allow it to sit overnight before laundering as usual. Repeat if necessary before drying.

Hand written or hand typed, meaningful words of joy make the holidays what they are. No matter what holiday is most meaningful to you at this time of year (or if none are) I send you my best wishes for a happy holiday season, and the hope for a brighter future for us all.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. (http://www.greenisuniversal.com/ask_mr_green.php) “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-11-25T09:48:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving
(Wickedly Blessed)

I toast considerations for stemming the tide of man-made climate change and of slowing the melting of ice caps. I offer up a “Whoop-whoop!” to the victories over drought, wildfires and endangered species, and even relish in the warm new green-alternative menu being served up in Washington. Indeed, I’m thankful for the oncoming cornucopia of change. But for some dumb reason, while I’m a thankful person and feel wickedly blessed - I’m just not crazy about Thanksgiving. It’s just too much work for so little payback. It’s a holiday with its own personal, familial carbon footprint (which, in fact, it does—but that’s for another column). So instead of rambling on about Thanksgiving like the love-child of Norman Rockwell and Martha Stewart, I’ve written a poem about the humble edible dinosaur-throwback that sits center stage while reviving our family dysfunctions.

Ode to The Turkey

The life of a turkey pre-golden is sickening.

Please let me share while your gravy is thickening.

Some think it’s weird, nasty, gory or strange,
To feast on a bird that once roamed the range.

From newly hatched poult to the moment he’s plated,
Meat from a creature once so adulated.
The esteem of this poor, tasty, “almost” national bird,
Of whom we eat mountains - ‘til our vision is blurred.

He’s fattened and handled and coddled for days,
Until he no longer can stand on the weight that he weighs.
From his birth through his prime, he’ll never deduce,

That he was meant to be garneed with roasted produce.

Often tranquil, serene and never malicious,

Clumsy and awkward, but when cooked, to some he’s delicious.
If crafty and cunning and devious he’d be,
He’d potentially skedaddle and flee filled with glee.

Unfortunately he’s dumb, flat-footed, ungainly,

A life on the plain beginning so plainly.
But today he’s honored with a place of distinction,
Tomorrow perhaps he’ll be gone or be close to extinction.

Until that occurs, he’ll be gorged on by us,
His carcass bound with a string-forming truss.
Golden and delivered from the oven with sighs,
While some fight over wings, others the thighs.

I can’t stand turkey or the mess one must make,
While shopping or baking or preparing to partake.
If thankfulness is displayed by this time-honored route,
Please - have extra turkey. I’ll do without

As it says in the book of Psalms, ”Come unto his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise.” Now I’m pretty certain that they weren’t speaking about the food court at the mall – though how thankful I would be if they were - that’s where I’d rather be this Thanksgiving - eating french fries and sticky buns.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. (http://www.greenisuniversal.com/ask_mr_green.php) “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-11-23T12:37:00.000-08:00

Obama-kinda-clean
“God looks at the clean hands, not the full ones.”
~Publilius Syrus

While he was campaigning in 2000, George Bush used to say that when he got into the White House he would give the Oval Office "one heck of a scrubbing” making allusions to the traces of “icky-bits” that Bill Clinton left behind.

When his term was complete, Mr. Clinton took only his favorite personal belongings – minus that assumed “something special.” So Mr. Bush, at taxpayers’ expense, gave everything else Clinton had left behind the “heave-ho,” with the exception of the massive oak desk made famous during the Kennedy years.

Being the president of the United Stated means that you’re the leader of the free world - you’re the big cheese, the Commander-in-Chief, the “decider” and “Numero-Uno.” The buck stops with you and you’re responsible for running a clean-ship.

That said, I can’t imagine John F. Kennedy caring about cobwebs, Bush scrubbing the bowl (though the image does make me smile), Dwight D. dusting, Clinton clearing out the cupboards, Woodrow Wilson doing windows, Truman taking out the trash, Hoover pushing a Hoover (except perhaps his wife), Johnson adjusting the drapes, Ford cleaning the floors, Lincoln doing laundry, Teddy tidying rooms, Nixon neatening anything (except for scrubbing 18 minutes worth of audio-tape), F.D.R. fluffing and folding, or Carter cleaning the crystal.

In actuality, the nuts and bolts of cleaning in the White House falls onto the shoulders of a special branch of the White House cleaning crew called the Executive Residence Staff.

The Bush family has occupied the White House for eight dirt-filled years, and while there isn’t a U-Haul back to Crawford in the driveway yet, they clearly have one foot out the door, making ready for the new 44th President - Barack Obama - and his family. (The Executive Residence Staff are gonna’ have their hands full preparing for the Obamas…that house is bound to be nasty.)

In preparation for our new Democratic President, how do those in charge of housekeeping intend to get eight years of Republican stains and smears out of the White House? There are those actual blood stains from when the Bush’s dog “Barney” bit a reporter, and the smears from the likes of Karl Rove. Quite possibly there are moose droppings tracked in by Sarah “Recently Tagged and Released” Palin's snowshoes (though there were no reports of her visiting) but there are those nasty vomit stains from when “W” choked on pretzels. Oh, and let’s not forget the burn marks on the new Oval Office rug left when Satan and George exchanged the presidency for the remainder of his soul.

In January 2009, when Barack Obama is sworn in as President, he will bring with him our hopes for so many new-and-improved, spick-and-span changes …a clean economy, clean peace, clean civil rights, clean jobs, clean housing, clean health-care, clean energy, clean technology, clean emissions and maybe even new clean industry with new clean green collars.

And while blood from the bite of a pooch, moose droppings from the shoes an Alaskan Governor, and or even vomit from a residing President can be dealt with by housekeeping – the blood on his hands and the rest of Bush’s dirty little secrets can never be scrubbed away.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. (http://www.greenisuniversal.com/ask_mr_green.php) “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-11-23T12:34:00.000-08:00

America Recycles Day
“In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away.
They make it into television shows.”
~Woody Allen

Americans generate almost twice the amount of trash of other developed countries – a whopping 4 pounds of garbage per person everyday. That’s 301,139,947 U.S. residents producing just about four pounds of trash each equaling 1,204,559,788 pounds or 602,280 tons of trash each day…the weight of about 580,000 Liberty Bells.

The U.S. currently has approximately 3,000 active landfills. Buried and minimally forgotten (unless you live near one) the trash that each American creates leads to water contamination, land erosion, methanol off-gassing, and disgusting odors. (Peee-euw!) Much of this tonnage of waste within the landfills actually retards bio-degration, therefore defeating their intentions.

An overhaul to landfill systems, recycling, making producers and manufacturers responsible for the end-life of their products, biodegradable packaging, and learning to adjust the way we as individuals consume, are all part of the long-term solution. But when it comes down to it - it’s our own responsibility to reduce, reuse and recycle, and to become more educated about the long-term consequences of landfills, and the endless benefits offered by up-cycling and recycling paper, plastic, glass, aluminum, scrap metal, and fabric.

75 percent of trash is recyclable but unfortunately only 25 percent actually gets recycled. Curbside recycling makes it easy for households to be part of the solution. It’s easy to divert materials from landfills and incinerators. Here are some things to consider when you’re recycling.

PAPER:
When adequately exposed to the elements, paper decomposes completely in 2-5 months. But if thrown away as regular trash, once the plastic bag itself eventually deteriorates in about 20 years, then maybe the paper entombed inside the plastic trash-bag will finally have its chance to decompose as well. Sadly - paper in all its many shapes and sizes - amounts to almost half of what we end up sending to landfills. However, if Americans recycled just one tenth of their paper, it would save 25 million trees a year

If you read anything in print you should know that the act of recycling paper decreases the demand for virgin pulp thereby reducing the devastation of forests, and the overall amount of air and water pollution created during the manufacture of the paper. It's always best to separate paper into white office paper, newspaper, cardboard, and mixed-color paper, and tie each type separately. Once sorted and bundled, carry the items to be picked up curbside at the appropriate time on the designated days for your community.

PLASTIC:
In 1988, the American Society of the Plastics Industry developed the resin identification code that is used to indicate the most common polymer materials used in the manufacture of a product or in packaging to assist recyclers with sorting the collected materials.

To check the recycle-ability of a plastic item, look to see if there’s a Universal Recycling Symbol (URS--usually on the bottom). Next, look to see if there’s a number inside the triangle. The numbers are meant to give us a leg up on what kinds of resins were used. If there is no number, then the material is considered “generically recyclable” (in which case there are codes beneath or near the triangle indicating the materials used). Each number, from 1 to 7 indicates what type of polymer was used.

At the moment it’s only economically viable to recycle items with a URS triangle with the No. 1 which is PET or PETE (polyethylene terephthalate) or No. 2, which is HDPE (high-density polyethylene). But scattered across our great nation, local recycling programs are stretching the range of plastics that might be recycled as the technology to do so becomes available. (It takes 20 years for a plastic bag to decompose but up to 250 years for a plastic cup to decompose.)

GLASS:
Glass that finds its way into recycling systems is usually comprised of clear, green, and brown bottles and broken glassware - and when recycled - the process uses less energy than manufacturing glass from scratch and doesn’t produce the same carbon dioxide as when it is newly manufactured. (A glass bottle takes 4,000 years or more to decompose - even longer if it's in the landfill.)

ALUMINUM:
Aluminum may be reused by simply re-melting the metal - it’s energy efficient and a lot less expensive than making new. (It takes 500 years for an aluminum can to decay.)

SCRAP METAL:
Aluminum lawn chairs, bicycles, cabinets, chain link and wire fencing, doors, grills, household appliances, iron furniture, lawn mowers (with oil and gas drained) metal sheds (disassembled), railings, refrigerators and freezers (doors must be removed), sewing machines, shower stalls, swing sets, wire clothes hangars…at sometime they all become scrap. Instead of sending then to the dump consider a curbside scrap metal collection. When arranged in advance, pickup is often free and made on your regular recycling day. (Don’t place your scrap metal items into your blue bin.)

FABRIC:
The best way to recycle fabric is to contribute your old duds to a charitable organization. According to the Environmental Protection Agency's Office of Solid Waste, Americans have dumped over 9 million tons of just about anything with a thread count into landfills nationwide.

When you donate your unwanted, unraveling, or otherwise thread-worn garments to your favorite charity - even though it probably won’t end up resold as clothing for someone in need - it will probably have a very green reincarnation through re-sale to individuals and textile recyclers.

Unfortunately no man or woman comes with an operational manual (well, at least I’ve never found mine!) Turning a new leaf to becoming “green” can seem overwhelming. By not considering our carbon footprint, spending habits, and waste, we’re all adding to global warming by not recycling. Locate the recycling guide provided by your city, state or county (the regulations change from region to region) and keep it handy.

When it comes to cleaning your recyclables, to prevent critters or bugs, it’s fine to rinse your metal cans, glass and plastic containers. But no need to go nuts - the heat used during the recycling process deals with many contaminants.

As it says on the Liberty Bell, “Proclaim Liberty throughout all the Land unto all the Inhabitants thereof.” By working together - and by using our noggins - our actions will produce a healthier land and a healthier environment for all the inhabitants thereof.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. (http://www.greenisuniversal.com/ask_mr_green.php) “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-11-08T15:30:00.000-08:00

Housewife Day
“As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive
when my husband gets home from work –
then hey - I've done my job.”

~Roseanne Barr

“Susie Homemaker” is the iconic (and fictitious) 1950s American housewife who summons up recollections of freshly baked apple pie, a gentle squeeze when you crawl into bed at night, and the ever-ready bandage over a fresh boo-boo. She’s the Stepford Wife image of perfection and the ideal wife and mother devoted entirely to her home and family. (Remember Lucy Ricardo, Donna Reed, Laura Petry, and June Cleaver vacuuming in high heels?) I mean, c’mon, even the Eisenhower years had moms like the newly-exonerated Ethel Rosenberg, Joan Crawford and Mrs. Robinson!!!

As the fog of reality lifts, we begin to notice that times have changed and so have our (mis)perceptions, if in fact such an “über-mom” like her ever existed. Today she’d be portrayed in a post-feminist stereotype of a woman on the go juggling family, health, career and home, with enough time left over for scrapbooking, gourmet cooking, volunteering at the local food co-op, and shopping for (and actually wearing) her Manolo Blahniks.

Today’s stay-at-home mom is more probably a “domestic diva” stuck at the stove “expressing” herself by frying up eggs, sleep-deprived from watching her newborns and toddlers and changing dirty diapers, ensnared back-at-the-ranch and finding her center by desperately trying to keep up with Martha Stewart (let alone the Jones’), shuttling her kids from soccer practice to clarinet lessons to dance rehearsals. Any which way you look at it - being a housewife has gotta’ be hard work.

Househusbands and dads, too, have joined the parade of parents who now make up the ever-growing genderless crowd responsible for caring for a household…it’s not just for the ladies anymore! The individual who stays at home – man or woman - is oftentimes the one who’s usually financially dependent on the other partner. To the surprise of those who aren’t at home around the clock and are fulltime out in the workplace, they too benefit from the unwaged work provided by the one working at home. (If compared to what it might cost for each and every task by someone collecting a paycheck, the take home pay for the average homemaker would be approximately $138,000!)

Still preferred by many, but also thought by scores of folks to be an antiquated and derogatory term, being a “housewife” harkens back to a time when one income could support all of the bells and whistles necessary to keep an entire family well clothed, fed and living within an acceptable middle class style. But unfortunately it was also a time when housewives and single women had less than equal rights. For instance just within the past 100 years - they couldn’t vote; didn’t have the right to hold public office; if they worked, the range of occupational choices was very narrow; they weren’t offered fair wages or equal pay for equal work; they were denied the opportunity to own property or a home; they weren’t allowed an education; they were forbidden to serve in the military; they weren’t offered the possibility of entering into legal contracts or even to have the most basic rights including marital, parental and religious rights. In fact, women were considered chattel.

Housewife Day at least acknowledges the magnitude of importance that stay-at-home wives and moms, (and yes - husbands and dads, too) deserve.

My mom, in her own weird way, was a hybrid of an ever-mindful-eco-friendly-Susie-Homemaker long before such status was imaginable. In the 60’s - as a stay-at-home parent of three, she made clothes for the entire family, did her own hair (“Hmmm? Nice Toni-home perm, mom!”), knit and crocheted beautiful sweaters by hand, canned and preserved pickles, jams, fruit, sauces and preserves, made bread almost every day, made her own yogurt, invented toys out of scraps of this-and-that, gardened, mowed the lawn, painted rooms in record time and even made purses for my sister out of old jeans.

Clever as she was, she also made cleaning into a game. (This is this week’s tip – so listen up. Try it. My mom used it effectively on my brother, sister and I until we were in our teens. We were either dolts or else she had something going on here!)

On Saturdays mom would make a cleaning list and tear it into bits, folding them into a bowl. My brother, sister and I “could choose” (Thanks mom - give and give and give!) until all of the pieces were gone and we could then begin to open them one by one.

“I get to clean the bathroom!” “I'm going to rake leaves!” “I'm going to change the beds!” “I'm going to sweep the sidewalk!” we’d each exclaim, as if it were a treat. The first one to complete all the tasks written on their selections pulled from the bowl would “win.”

Win??!! No, we didn’t win a dollar or an ice cream sundae or anything like that - we just “won.” To my mom, having a clean house by the hands of her eager and “winning” children was, in itself, the prize.

To this day, when cleaning, I first make a list and cross off each chore when completed and then think to myself “Hooray, I won!!”

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (http://www.thedailygreen.com/green-homes/blogs/nontoxic/) and the Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-dejong). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. (http://www.greenisuniversal.com/ask_mr_green.php) “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-10-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

All Hallows Eve
'Tis the night - the nightOf the grave's delight,

And the warlocks are at their play;

Ye think that withoutThe wild winds shout,

But no, it is they - it is they.

~Arthur Cleveland Coxe

It’s hard to say when it came to me, but it haunts me day and night, and not just on Halloween. I know that it’s not the spirits that reflect their apparitions onto our windows, the ghouls that trespass beneath our stairs, the wisps of ghosts that spin through our kitchen, the poltergeists that caress the afterlife in our coat closet, or even the multitude of phantoms that possess our pantry. I actually love living in a haunted house. Oh, but for me, the haunting, haunting, haunting comes from the mess they leave in their wake!

It’s their spooky ectoplasmic remains left on our tiled floors they travel - worn and left dim, pale and filmy blue like the glaring eye of a vulture. Whenever the haze falls upon them, my blood runs cold.

I cautiously stare at the tiles as they taunt me with their cloudy film. I walk over them and hear their slight moan, a groan of lethal fright. Not just a growl of torture or woe, but a whimper of un-dead feet, bone chillingly moving over the 175 year old tiles, the bone crushing “crunch” of ceramic-against-ceramic sound that silently cuts through the night with its low, stifled clattering.

Arising in the night from their horrid screams, or sometimes their quiet siren’s songs - at midnight - when the rest of the world sleeps, I hear deepening, dreadful echoes of terror that distract me from my slumber…the patter of lifeless footsteps. (How do you tell a ghost to wipe its feet…heh? I can’t even get my partner, Richard to do that!). But even as I lay frozen and keep still - barely breathing - accompanied by the horrible hush of our 1833 house, strange noises from footsteps excite me to uncontrollable panic.

Waiting in the nighttime darkness until a single dim ray of moonlight appears through the skylight - like the silken thread of a black widow spider – falling upon the tiled flooring, igniting a glare upon the surface that mimics the scavenging eye of a raven…again I see the haunting dull blueness with that telltale gruesome veil that chills me to the very marrow of my bones. (Clean-freak that I am, I even have nightmares about this kinda’ stuff!)

But no matter, slimed, veiled, bloodied, soiled, or stained by the likes of Beelzebub, fiends, evil spirits, imps, mischievous sprites, or just the day-to-day foot traffic of family, friends and pets – the tiles of my haunted dreams are actually easy to keep clean:

• Begin by dipping (not dripping!) a halved lemon into a bowl of borax to create an instant tile cleaner.
• Scrub using the lemon, juicy side down, rubbing the borax and citric acid mixture onto the tiles.
• Finish by rinsing with clean water.

Maybe it’s the incessant cleaning that makes me a lunatic (out damn spot!); or maybe it’s the shrieking souls from the fiery depths of hell that leave their footprints on our hallway tiles that taunt me to madness.

What makes me insane on Halloween night or any other nocturnal hour? I’m not sure…that’s for you and the creatures of the night to decide. (Deep scary laugh…)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-10-28T07:43:00.000-07:00

Make a Difference Day
“If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one.”
~ Mother Teresa

Either single-handedly, all by your lonesome, with the help of some friends, or volunteering with an organization, cooking up a large or small personal project, family effort, or community-wide endeavor is a wonderful way to score brownie points. Anyone – small fry or senior, individuals or groups, can whip-up volunteer projects that help others. Allow your ideas to percolate, and you’ll soon discover what your community needs. “Make a Difference Day” is really all about neighbors serving neighbors.

No matter whether you’re a scrambled student, a butter-fingered bartender, or even a half-baked housepainter, there are always a few extra hours to consider volunteering an afternoon of your skills: painting a neighbor’s porch or finger-painting with the kid next door; removing a scrap heap of trash from the side of a highway or scrap-booking memories at the Senior Center; granny-sitting or babysitting, swinging your kids at the local park or swinging a hammer to help with some carpentry, twisting a screwdriver to assist with electrical work or twisting taffy with some school kids; you get the idea…you could coach a sporting event, offer computer assistance, replant a flower or vegetable bed, do some office work, visit with someone whose lonely, collect food for the homeless or even work in a soup kitchen.

With all of this not-so subtle discussion of food, food, and more food…on “Make a Difference Day” how about cleaning a neighbor's kitchen appliances? (You knew I was going there - now didn’t ya’!) It doesn’t need to take a month of Sundays to quickly and safely clean a kitchen. Here are a few quick pointers and eco-recipes to make your visit speedy and easy as pie.

Coffee maker:
To clean an automatic drip coffee maker run full-strength white vinegar through a normal brew cycle. Rinse by running plain water through the cycle twice. The pot will be remarkably clean and your coffee will taste better than ever. (Tip: coffee sometimes tastes bitter because of soapy residue…so never wash your pot with soap.)

Dishwasher:
To clean a dishwasher (I know, it sounds like an oxymoron—but the darn things do get yucky over time!), place a cup of white vinegar into the bottom of the appliance and operate through an entire cycle. Do this once a month to reduce soap build up on the inner rollers, racks gaskets and sprayers.

Garbage disposal:
Pour 1/2 cup of salt into the garbage disposal. Then, by running the disposal following manufacturer's directions, you'll send any odors down the drain! And for an extra treat, cut up a lemon and let the disposal do its job.

Microwave:
Boil 1/4 cup of white vinegar and 1 cup of water in a glass or plastic container in your microwave for two minutes. The condensation from the boiling mixture will loosen splattered-on-food and those mysterious cheesy lumps, and will even deodorize the machine in the process. Wipe the inside clean with a damp cloth or sponge.

Oven:
To prevent greasy oven buildup in the first place, dip a sponge in full-strength white vinegar and wipe down all sides of a clean oven, inside and out.

Refrigerator:
Wash out a refrigerator with a solution of equal parts water and white vinegar. It will make everything sparkle.

On “Make a Difference Day” do something – anything – to help out a friend or a neighbor in need. If cleaning someone else’s kitchen isn’t your cup of tea and you don't have a first class project to steak your reputation on - sleep on it, the perfect idea is bound to turnip.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-10-15T05:36:00.000-07:00

International Skeptics Day
“I'm looking for loopholes.”
~W. C. Fields, when asked why he was reading the Bible.

Ptolemy believed the sun revolved around the earth. Linus believed in the “Great Pumpkin.”

(Sally to Linus, after missing Halloween… “What a fool I was. I could've had candy, apples, and gum, and cookies and money and all sorts of things. But no! I had to listen to you! What a fool I was. Trick or Treats come only once a year, and I missed it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead!”)

When I was a kid I believed in the “Push-Me-Pull-You” – the two-headed llama from the Dr. Doolittle stories. (I was such a sucker!) In my ‘tweens - upset and completely horrified - I stood in front of a caged, one-headed, completely healthy and whole llama and said “How could this have happened…where’s its other head!” I did ultimately find some comfort for my naiveté when I learned that Cher thought Mount Rushmore was a natural phenomenon!

Our culture is filled with mountains of myths and mythinformation (couldn’t resist that!) - Santa, UFOs, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Bigfoot, Crop Circles, the Loch Ness monster - in the famous words of Benjamin Franklin, “It is so; it is not so. It is so; it is not so.” I’m not always certain, either…perhaps you could call me a Doubting Thomas.

In case you don’t know, to be called a Doubting Thomas means that you’re someone who - without straightforward, tangible, right in your face proof - refuses to believe in any number of things. (e.g. See the list above.) The expression is based on the doubt of the Apostle Thomas concerning the resurrection of Jesus. Although Jesus had been crucified, Thomas only became a true believer when he was able to place his fingers into the resurrected Jesus’ wounds. (After that llama incident, I think I’d require a demonstration like that, too!)

Skeptics are everywhere. And if you’re not certain as to who they are, take a mindful look around - they’re easily identifiable as the folks that doubt truth and accepted-theory. They just won’t see or accept what’s “a given,” what’s believed by the majority of the people based on scientific scrutiny. When I’m asking questions, I’m curious, and when I’m questioning, I’m skeptical. But when I refuse to separate fact from fiction, that makes me just plain-old blind to reality.

Take for example Governor and Vice Presidential (shoot me now!) candidate Sarah Palin. Perhaps the Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny and maybe even Doubting Thomas himself told her that climate change and global warming aren’t caused by human behavior and that a changing environment could never have been man-made. We can all fail to recognize the reality of global warming much like Palin thinks that drilling in the Alaskan Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is swell for birds, fish and wildlife. But until we all place our own hands into the proverbial wounds of the world, we’ll all continue to doubt our own personal responsibilities.

And much like the Gov’s responsibility to own up to the truth, we, too, can make mico-steps towards change. While carefully and safely cleaning our bodies or our homes, (gun-toting-moose-hating-soccer-mom, lipstick-wearing-or-not, notwithstanding) by being thoughtful of our actions and intentions while we do even the smallest of tasks, we meet ourselves in a simple, mindful act of purifying our personal environment, and by extension, our ever-changing world environment. I believe that every individual can have a positive effect on the enormous problem of Global Warming, and I believe that it can happen one household at a time. (Forgetting about the Push-Me-Pull-You kerfuffle, of this I’m certain.)

Bullwinkle-the-Moose once said, “Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what can you believe?” (Even the moose was a skeptic!)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-10-13T08:52:00.000-07:00

Coming-Out Day
“Come out, come out wherever you are…”
(From “The Wizard of Oz”)
~ Harold Arlen & E.Y. Harburg

I have “special” needs - some might call them obsessions - but I prefer to call them standards. I like a clean home and orderly storage. But more than that, I want my junk where I can find it and I want it all to look like something—a place for everything and everything in its place! In an average afternoon - as part of a cleaning ritual - I’ll iron sheets for the bedrooms, wipe down the kitchen, rearrange our living room, organize the bathrooms, tidy our basement and yes… even organize our closets.

By today’s standards - depending on your lifestyle, needs, and desired outcome - uniquely crafted closets offer a meaningful use of space in any home or apartment. Considering all of the options, the perfect closet can be a swell place to hoard your handbags, stash sport-coats, stockpile shoes and allow lingerie to linger. It’s also a place to relegate last season’s dresses, abandon busted umbrellas, forget those fake-fun-furs, put presents meant for re-gifting, and bury baggage otherwise used to travel to far away, sandy and sunny ports.

Although we think of closets as places to squirrel away stuff and hang our clothes, historically for the very rich, they were actually small secret, private, concealed rooms usually attached to a bedroom.

But nowadays, to be kept hidden or “closeted” is most often used as a way of describing something or someone whose behavior might be embarrassing, controversial…or even gay.

National Coming Out Day was founded 1988 by Dr. Robert Eichberg and Jean O'Leary, in celebration of the second Gay March on Washington, D.C. the previous year. The purposes of both were to promote awareness of gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender rights and to rejoice in it all. For 20 years, it’s been a day to publicly celebrate being who you are, and is often used as an opportunity to tell others as well.

Coming out, while different for every individual, is a critical part of accepting that you’re gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgender. (Imagine if heterosexual folks had to have a tear- and angst-filled moment when they made the brave decision to declare their sexual orientation or gender identity and risk being rejected, fired, beaten, thrown out of their home, etc.?) For some lgbt people, the experience is joyful; for some it’s uncomfortable; for some it instills anger in those they come out to; for some it’s a tragic time of rejection and depression. But for many, once proclaimed, it’s a time of freedom, relief, and often a moment of “Gee, we were waiting for you to tell us!” when coming out to supportive family, co-workers and friends.

When I came out to my dear friend, Robert, we celebrated over steaks and Martini’s at a tony steak house in Manhatttan. When I came out to even more friends when visiting from my hometown of Chicago - in celebration at my East Village apartment - we all ate cake, drank Champaign and jumped on the beds. When I came out to my sister Mags, she said "Honey, you’ve done a lousy job of hiding it. I've known that for years!”

But when I was only fourteen my mom came out for me. While folding cloths together she said that she thought I might just be kinda’ different from her other two kids (Maybe it was my ability to crochet that tipped her off?) and that if I had special questions she said she’d always be there to answer them for me.

Now that I am no longer in the closet, there’s plenty of room for other things in there! I’m always putting away belongings and endlessly tidying up by stuffing clothes, brooms, bed and bath linens, winter coats, hats and who-knows-what into closets. Unfortunately, depending on the humidity, they can sometimes smell musty. That’s when I get out the baking soda to freshen them up. I just tear off the top of a fresh box, put it on the floor or a shelf in the closet, and let it do its thing. After a month or so, I replace the old baking soda with a fresh box and use the old stuff for some other cleaning projects to dispose of it—it never goes to waste!

Here at home (and hopefully yours, too) our closets are meant for our baggage and belongings and not the people we love. If you’re either “in”, “out” or somewhere inbetween, it’s important to live life gloriously, in full view, sharing your joys and life-experiences openly…even if you’re not gay but just a closeted cleaning freak.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-10-01T13:24:00.000-07:00

The Jewish New Year
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank…
The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”
~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

On Rosh Hashanah – the time of year when God decides whose names get added to the “Book of Life” (hopefully yours!) - Jews across the world get a clarion call when the shofar (ram’s horn) is blown, to awaken them from their self-righteousness, and to begin the process of atoning for the sins of the past year. During the afternoon of the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the practice of tashlikh is observed, in which prayers are recited near natural flowing water. It’s the moment when one’s sins are cast upon the water, and literally, pieces of bread or small stones are tossed into the river or stream so that symbolically you can watch your bad deeds start to float away.

Because it is also a time of gathering and eating with family (my partner Richard is Jewish, and boy do we eat and eat and eat at these holiday dinners), to be sure, there’ll be plenty of dusting, vacuuming, washing, polishing, scrubbing and waxing alongside a tremendous amount of cooking, baking, roasting, and preparing gallons and gallons of chicken soup.

But more than being a time of feasting, Rosh Hashanah begins a 10-day period of repenting—ending in Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar, and the actual start of the New Year. Biblical scholars believe that when the Prophet John, The Baptist, in the Book of Matthew (3:2) said "...Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand," he was referring to the Jewish New Year and they think that he was speaking on the eve of Yom Kippur. He was announcing the final call for repentance before the Day of the Covering of Sin (Yom Kippur).

The Hebrew term for this period of repentance is Teshuvah which means returning to the predestined path set for us when we were born. The Jewish view is to use mistakes to grow and move forward, because - as we all know - mistakes happen and fixing them so that they aren’t repeated can be a test…literally and figuratively.

So in preparing for the Jewish New Year celebration, the act of cleaning internal and external impurities becomes the real challenge and the real goal. (Gee, I can make a cleaning metaphor out of anything, huh!!??)

Imagine, for instance, a bathtub that’s not been scrubbed over the course of an entire year. If such a tub existed, there’d be blackened, oily footprints everywhere, shampoo gunked up here and there, splats of toothpaste along the rim, dribbles of conditioner under that caddy thingy, soap scum galore, a gigantic clump of hair stuck in the strainer and a three inch ring of moldy residue all the way around the tub. (That butcher, baker and candlestick maker must have been complete slobs!) But in all seriousness, it’s hard to make yourself clean (or restful, or contemplative, or peaceful) in any dirty place let alone in a grubby tub.

Metaphorically, each of us is a bathtub wanting to be clean, and Rosh Hashanah becomes the perfect chance to start fresh. It’s an opportunity to buff away blunders, rub polish onto our faux pas, and scrub satisfaction back into our souls—and if need be, “wash that man right outta our hair!”

It can start with recognizing our unfortunate shortcomings, putting a stop to unfortunate actions, regretting our unfortunate behaviors, feeling truly sorry for being so unfortunately nasty, owning and explaining our personal idiocy, asking for and hopefully finding forgiveness, and then never, never, never repeating our unfortunate mistakes (the hardest rub of all!!). And along the way we might ask ourselves “Am I hurting others, am I blind to what’s important, am I being insensitive and – most importantly – am I getting in my own way?” It’s kind of a “scrub-a-dub-dub” that’s good for our bathtub, our brain and our soul.

But if your bathtub is as dirty as the one I just described (Someone hold my hand - I think I’m gonna’ pass out.) or you just need to make it shine like new on a weekly basis - toss in a pinch of salt for good luck (and then another larger pinch for its amazing ability to scrub so well) and a generous sprinkling of baking soda over the entire surface. Then scrub like the dickens with a dampened soft cloth. My favorite part is to then finish up by jumping barefoot into the tub and splishing-n-splashing clear water everywhere. (Bet ya’ wouldn’t dare do that with that bleach-infused commercial stuff, now would ya?) And if you’re the type who takes “the casting of one’s sins upon the water” literally, the jumping in part is - of course – a metaphoric bonus, too. Once rinsed, you’ll find the whiter-than-white porcelain tub that once lay hidden and lost behind all that grime.

Rosh Hashanah and the Celebration of the Jewish New Year (or even cleaning your bathtub for that matter) isn’t only about becoming squeaky-clean or about being a better person - it’s really just about being aware, about being mindful, and about being just plain-old kind.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-09-26T05:13:00.000-07:00

Christopher Reeves’ Birthday
"Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket."
~Doug Horton

Years ago, as a mild mannered artist, I cleaned apartments for professors, photo-editors, designers, television and Broadway producers, a photo instructor, a chiropractor and even a guy who made wigs for Saturday Night Live. And with keys in hand, I traveled my own Metropolis via the New York City subway system as a cleansing crusader (minus the spandex of course.)

Most of my clients wanted the “usual” stuff – a scrubbed bathroom, a shiny fresh kitchen, for me to swing a duster here and there, to chase the vacuum around and then to finish it all off with a quick mopping. But for extra cash I also performed super-human feats by running errands, organizing closets, collecting dry cleaning, ironing linens, polishing silver, changing sheets, picking up groceries, washing windows, making floral arrangements, baby-sitting, rearranging entire rooms, and even choosing furniture, bedding and draperies.

But my regular Tuesday client was a dusk-to-dawn affair who wanted it “all” and then some…including laundry done in the building’s machines three flights down. With my arms filled to capacity, I found my way to the basement for an afternoon of “fluff-n-fold.”

In a small communal laundry room next to the boiler, at the folding table tucked neatly between two coin-operated machines, I’d regularly see Superman (Really!). There, like clockwork was Christopher Reeves in street clothes. But even without his red cape, red boots, red boxers and blue uni-tard - in my mind he was still faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, a strange visitor from another planet who came to earth with a laundry list of powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men.

Yep, “the flesh and blood” Christopher Reeves – the same one who was beloved by millions as both the mild-mannered reporter, Clark Kent, and Superman, the “Man of Steel.” But in this odd, mundane but very real setting, he became for me not just Christopher Reeves, but rather Clark Kent in a Christopher Reeves disguise - casually hiding behind glasses and a baseball hat while pushing mismatched loads of his family’s clothing into and out of washers and dryers. It was like seeing Clark Kent impersonating a bumbling Christopher Reeves so that I - just for that moment - might feel super (and superior—because boy did he not know how to wash clothes!). Similar to the way Superman impersonated a bumbling Clark Kent to make others feel like they, too, were a cut above.

But unlike Superman, our Birthday-boy Mr. Reeves wasn’t rocketed to Earth from a distant planet; never squeezed coal into diamonds, couldn’t travel back in time or soar into outer space, wasn’t capable of moving planets, and - in this instance - wasn’t very good at doing laundry, either.

Had he just divided his whites, colors and dark fabrics into separate loads and added a capful of white vinegar to his laundry, he would have kept his colors bold and his whites bright. Never-the-less – regardless of his less than super washing powers evidenced in his pink-stained tidy-whities and dingy-gray baby diapers - for me - Tuesday’s have forever remained “Sorting with Superman Day.”

Since my cleaning days, we’ve all lost a super-hero to human frailty. But what I’ve taken away from the time spent while folding and sorting is that whether troubled by twisters, ponderous over plummeting airplanes, upset by metropolis-squashing meteors, or even let down by loads of lackluster laundry - Superman, Clark Kent, Christopher Reeves, and even you and I continuously teeter-totter between our humanity, the spin cycle, those missing red boxers, and a fickle, ever-changing universe.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-09-14T14:04:00.000-07:00

Speak like a Pirate Day
“…if we lived and were good,
God would permit us to be pirates.”
~ Mark Twain

Poop deck, port, prow, and starboard - the briny deep, the reef below, fair winds, and sailing the seven seas…it’s all in a days work for an old sea-dog lookout - spyglass in hand and perched high in his crow's nest - keeping his eyes peeled for land. “Ahoooy!” he cries to warn the worn Cap’n Sea-Legs. Thar' in the distance - small yet faint - it grows out of the horizon - a deserted island. “Land ho!”, a fellow matey sounds.

The rounded mound of island appears through the mist as all hands on board catch site of sand, coral filled turquoise water, swaying palms and a stranded couple on the beach - all sun-scorched and in tatters - a marooned Buccaneer and his lassie-wench. And in the mind of every scurvy dog on deck lies a pirate’s fantasy of buried treasure, piles of pieces-of-eight, and the mother-lode - a booty-filled chest of gold Doubloons. Oh, the thrill of plundering, robbing, and sacking along the Barbary Coast - ‘taint nothing like it, aye!

The adventure of pillage, however, happened rarely to those in search of excitement and, more often than not, the monotony and drudgery of ship-life was the norm. I can almost hear the lead Skipper saying “The bardom of da’ open sea, frequent scarvy, the lack of grog-n-grub…me hearties…leaves any man - pirate, thief or thug - hankerin’ for more. Sure…there’s stuff to do on board. There’s spyin’ fur th' mother of all whales, polishin’ me’ sword, rowin’, sailin’, fightin’, attackin’ galleons, or watchin’ some sad-sack traitor walk the plank. But - shiver me timbers - there’s nothin’ like swabbin’ the decks.”

Romanticized-adventuring-dirt-bag or not - on this hearty day - become a respectable yet daring, swashbuckling eco-pirate (Green-Beard?) by sportin’ a Tricorne hat, an eye-patch (covering just one of your peepers is sufficient) and a parrot on your shoulder to complete the look. Fully clad, commemorate the day by scrubbing your stairs, mopping your floors or swabbin’ your own decks with something safe and sound…I’ll bet me’ last gold Doubloon they did.

Now me’ maties - begin by making a paste of baking soda and water to remove shoe and furniture scuffs on all kinds of flooring. Continue by adding one half of a cup of baking soda to a bucket of water to swab the deck - uhm, I mean wash the floors. Mop with swarthy gusto, rinse and wipe dry.

Just ‘cause it’s speak like a pirate day doesn’t mean you have to live like one. Unleash your inner Cap’n Bligh and “Git off yur sorry keester…ya’ mangy scallywag.” and make your personal bounty shipshape. Whether channeling smart Black Bart, becoming cunning Captain Kidd, or acting like bloodthirsty Blackbeard – safely swabbin’ your deck, linoleum, tile or wood flooring is never reason for a mutiny…. Arrrrrgh!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-09-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

“I, John, take you Jacqueline…”
"Don't let it be forgot, that once there was a spot,
for one brief shining moment that was known as Camelot"
~ Lerner and Loewe

With early-fall cool breezes and blue skies overhead, late summer is a perfect time of year to steal someone's heart and get hitched.

It was just that when John Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier tied the knot. And could there have been a more swellegant place to do it than in Newport, Rhode Island - the warm weather capital of American high-society and a Mecca for the wealthiest of the wealthiest?

If you’re planning to say "I do" there, too, you might find yourself rubbing elbows with the Astors or Vanderbilts, eying the mega-bling from Tiffany, Cartier or Van Cleef & Arpels, viewing magnificent flower arrangements, nibbling a five-tier wedding cake, waving to three thousand well wishers outside the church, greeting a thou’ or two of your nearest and dearest after the ceremony, holding closely to your perfect mate, and - depending on whether you really want one or not – wearing a memorable, original, handmade silk wedding gown.

After makin’ eyes at her “Mr. Right” and dreaming of walking the new ball-n-chain down the aisle, Jacqueline Bouvier, expected, and surely got, the prescribed “three-ring circus” when she married John F. Kennedy. (And why not…they were a match made in heaven.) Ms. “O” was then a beautiful young columnist with a camera who wrote "Inquiring Camera Girl" for The Washington Times-Herald, and JFK was the newly elected senator from Massachusetts.

Before twelve hundred people, on September 12, 1953 they took their vows and sealed it with those two little words, at St. Mary’s Church, the oldest Roman Catholic parish in Newport. And thus began their picture-perfect life together, filled with Pulitzer Prizes, the creation of the Peace Corps, the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, the 35th US Presidency, the Space Program, a complete restoration of the White House, and two wonderful children.

But on your big day, what if butter-cream or bubbly lands on your wedding dress? In that situation, it’s often best to think, “WWJD” - “What would Jackie Do?” Even the memorable handmade silk “Camelot” wedding gown worn by Jacqueline Bouvier-Kennedy might have been the object of a nuptial mishap. Had it happened to Jackie, though, she would have breathed deep, found her center, cooled her jets, and evaluated the situation by saying “How bad can it be?”

Out of control Bride-zilla or a calm and collected Bouvier, make sure you use the correct remedy for your stains. For red wine, softly dab at the spill with a clean dry white cloth followed by again dabbing with the spot with a damp white cloth and then dab some more. (Don’t rub!) If it’s still visible add just a dash of white vinegar, and continue to blot. To camouflage the remaining offense, sprinkle the area with baking soda…nobody will notice.

For oily stains - from makeup to meat-sauce - sprinkle the area liberally with baking soda, sit patiently for about ten minutes (remembering to smile!), and then shake the excess off while you’re out on the dance floor.

Getting hitched, popping the question, setting a date or just settling down - it all starts with whispering sweet nothings in someone's ear. And if your day is as perfect as Jackie’s and John’s - with a “Camelot spot” or without, remember that once the confetti’s been swept away and the rental chairs have been returned, you married the dude not the dress.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-08-25T06:35:00.000-07:00

Amelia Earhart’s
Trans-continental flight &
Gene Simmons’ Birthday
“Fly me to the moon and let me play (swing) among the stars

Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars…”
~Bart Howard

Frank Sinatra brought the lyrics of “Fly me to the Moon” to life. It’s one of those famous melodies where its mere mention instantly brings this air-bound tune to life. You know how it goes…if you dream about it you’ll recall the way the “Chairman of the Board” slurred words into personalized, memorable configurations masterfully paired with the sounds of saxophones, flutes, and drums in support of his elongated and punctuated crooning.

Much like Ol’ Blue Eyes - if you’re healthy and creative you might not only sing about flying you might dream about flying as well…I do. While I’m dreaming, I imagine that I’m soaring through the night air lost somewhere between the moon and the stars - flying over my personal “Never-land” like Wendy, John and Michael from “Peter Pan.”

When using Peter Pans’ combination of “happy thoughts” and “fairy dust,” apparently anyone can fly to Jupiter and Mars…even the unlikely duo of Amelia Earhart and Gene Simmons. Good thing, too. It seems that almost everyone, at some time or another, wished they could fly.

Just look around - our popular cultural landscape is littered with references to flying. There are those who swear to have seen super-natural flying saucers, super-spiritual flying nuns, the super-brave who wind-sail, hang glide, bungee jump and skydive, super-limber fingers that fly across a piano’s keyboard, the super-paranoid who fear flying altogether (and for those who have no apparent fear of anything - flying or otherwise - we have “the mile high club”), and the Super-Heroes of Marvel and DC Comics that can also fly.

The paintings of Marc Chagal are also filled with images of folks flying, feeling lighter than air, soaring…literally…imagining human flight vividly like an uncertain swimmer doing the back stroke in mid-air or as a kite-tail waltzing in the wind - much like the vanished pilot Amelia Earhart and famed washed-up head-banger and lead rock-and-roller of the infamous band KISS, Gene Simmons.

Amelia and Gene share more than a coincidental date, August 25th. (They ironically also share music too…songwriter Jim Vallance wrote “Rock 'n Roll Hell” for Gene Simmons and “Amelia Earhart” for BTO - that’s Bachman Turner Overdrive). What they also share is a passion for flying.

As "Queen of the Air" she became the earliest woman to fly solo across the Atlantic (not once but twice!), was the number one female to receive the Distinguished Flying Cross and the first lady to fly non-stop from numerous destinations - breaking records all along the way.

Feminist icon Amelia Earhart was a widely known international celebrity during her lifetime. Her bashful yet magnetic charm, courage, self-determined doggedness, composure and guts along with her disappearance have offered her lasting fame.

Bass guitarist and birthday-boy Gene Simmons led his rock band KISS to mega-stardom in the 70s and 80s with pyrotechnics, demonstrations of his over-generously proportioned tongue, his audacious self-delusions, profusions of fake blood, wacky costumes, all that goofy make-up and of course - his never ending in-ability to disappear. But it’s his soaring aerial choreography and stage flying that firmly connects him to Amelia Earhart. With his license to be outrageous the charismatically repellant, persistently agitated, and turbulently excitable (I’m imagining him “literally” breaking all of his own records.) Simmons is – in my opinion - the Yin to Earharts’ Yang. They’re total opposites with a passion for flight.

We all live in the modern world and from time to time it’s necessary to fly. It’s an exciting and convenient way to travel, though not the eco-friendliest. Either “flying to the moon” or to some other destination, we can all reduce the amount of waste produced in-air by passing on anything served in disposable packaging. Instead, pack your own reusable container filled with a beverage of your choice (which you’ll probably have to buy after you pass through security), some healthy snacks from home stashed away in even more reusable containers and then deposit and recycle your own trash once you’ve landed.

By declining and re-cycling, think of all of the plastic packaging that will no longer need to be manufactured, only to find its non-biodegradable way into landfills or recycling centers across the country. And to clean your reusable plastic storage containers, depending on the type of stain, scrub them using combinations of lemon juice, baking soda and white vinegar.

It’s the little things - like avoiding over-packaged stuff, reusing and safely cleaning containers, considering travel alternatives - that will, in the long run, actually make a difference. It might not completely fix the problem, but if the 1,000,000 or-so folks who visit this site weekly actually acted on this eco-advice, there’d be less pollution and non-biodegradable garbage to deal with.

Life is what we each do, bravely, every single day. Gene Simmons once said, “All I ever thought about was sex.” (What? You were expecting some nugget of wisdom?) But it was Amelia Earhart who said, “You can act to change…the process is its own reward.”

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-08-21T04:37:00.000-07:00

Homeless Animal Day
"The average dog is a nicer person
than the average person."

~Andy Rooney

The average-Joe annually eats 30 pounds of lettuce…give-or-take a little. (Ancient Egyptians even had a god dedicated to both sex and lettuce…maybe that’s why we have Green-Goddess dressing?) Thomas Jefferson, author of the Declaration of Independence, third president of the United States, notable architect, noteworthy gardener, and obvious foliage fetish-ist had tons of lettuce growing in his gardens at Monticello, too.

Why all of this talk about lettuce? (Give me a minute…I’m only at the tip of the iceberg!) While educating people about vegetarian-ism and plating up scrumptious veggie chow, PETAs “Lettuce Ladies” are decked out in only this particular purposefully positioned plant life.

To boost public consciousness about the millions of destitute critters who are in need of compassionate quarters, as well as to stress the significance of spaying and neutering pets (hence those strategically-located lettuce leaves), each year, the “Lettuce Ladies” campaign along-side the world’s biggest animal rights organization - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) - and their host of volunteers, associates and champions.

PETA, of course, is concerned about cruelty to all types of animals (rabbits, chimps, cats, etc). So while they’re not the only mistreated species, many canines endure abuses in factories, farms, laboratories, breeding mills and even as household pets. And that’s how we came to our pooch – Jack.

Ten years ago, this sweet-yet-wacko high-maintenance cocker spaniel came into our lives. He’d been confined in a basement in hopes of someone eventually taking this “gaping wound of need” (it’s what I sometimes lovingly call him) off his current owners hands.

Enter stage left, my partner Richard and me. (Actually? Much more him than me…did I just hear the Mighty Mouse theme song “Hear I Come to Save the Day”?) He’s a sucker for a dog no matter what it looks like, smells like or acts like, and he’ll pet anything that wets on a sidewalk. (Luckily we live in a dog-friendly town.)

And when Richard’s dog-less he’s just not complete. You know the type…strong, tall, handsome and not overly chatty, but he’s the kinda’ guy who just needs a dog to make “oou-woo-woo” noises to - in the presence of others or not. But what neither of us knew when we took Jack in was that he wasn’t some who-dunnit-of-a-mutt but instead some purebred thing-a-ma-bob spaniel. He was chocolaty, matted and covered with God-knows-what, and stylishly “toughened-up” with a pit bull collar.

Despite his state we took him in, and after a good washing in the yard followed by a trip to a professional groomer - underneath it all we discovered a beautiful blond American cocker - and ever since, he’s been a fixture in our lives. He’s adorable. He’s so over-groomed and “girly” that his masculinity often stands in question (he kinda looks like Lady from “Lady and the Tramp”).

But left alone he’s all man - no question - he tears the house apart. He’s eaten through bedding, buried a cantaloupe in a couch (hmmm…snacks for later), has jumped on the dining room table and eaten a huge Valentine’s Day heart-shaped box of chocolate – foil wrappers and all - and on occasion has gone through the trash (tearing the cabinet doors off their hinges in the process, I might add.)

But you know it’s a dogs Christmas in July when your puppy’s gotten into the mother lode of garbage – the stuff that’s in the trash the day the refrigerator’s been cleaned. Our “precious” bellied-up to brown squishy bananas, half-turned grapes, cucumbers that had somehow become liquidly, a hunk of long-forgotten and now sky blue soy cheese, twelve-grain bread so hard that you could pave a driveway with it, and even a spent bouquet of flowers. He even tried to eat the box of baking soda found under the sink, too. But what he didn’t touch…you got it…was the lettuce. If I had known then to sprinkle the baking soda into the garbage he might not have smelled the “goodies” in the first place. (Yoo-hoo…here’s the tip: Sprinkling baking soda over your garbage is a great way to minimize odors offensive to you, and hopefully your pet, too.)

Maybe that’s why PETA and the “Lettuce Ladies” choose that specific cover-up – I’m not certain it’s dog-proof but I know that it’s “Jack-proof.” But no matter, PETA and the Ladies work tirelessly to help rescue homeless animals – they save them, offer school kids special trainings about them, physically search for abandoned pets, stage sit-ins at pharmaceutical labs, hold swanky social events to raise money, and continually lobby for the humane treatment of animals.

So if you’re the kind of person who absolutely, positively must have a beast of the four-legged variety, know that for every dog or cat purchased from a breeder or a pet store, another at a shelter is destroyed. Your rescued companion animal may not be a Snoopy, Garfield, Lassie, Sylvester or even Rin-Tin-Tin, but by making the “greener” choice by taking in a spayed or neutered stray – you’ll have decades of swell companionship and stories of questionable doggie-deeds to tell, too.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-08-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

Lefthanders Day
“As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather,
so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill.”

~Helen Keller

With roughly 10% of the world admitting to being left-handed (yup…Helen Keller, too) and many ambidextrous people also considering themselves left-handed as well – it seems that few folks are actually 100% left-handed. Ya’ see, completely left-handed people would mostly use the right side of their brains and totally right-handed people would primarily use the left side of their brains. OK, then – so that must mean that true left-handers never do anything right (with their right hands anyway) and yet – technically – they’re the only people who are in their right mind. With me so far?

If you’re not catching my drift, let’s look at some famous Lefties. First, there’s the brilliant left-handed puppeteer, the late Jim Henson. He actually always kept his left hand free and it was his right hand that was up the backside of Kermit the frog - animating the puppet by making his head and mouth move in the memorable ways that made Kermit so loveable.

Another “Lefty-Lucy” is the controversial left-handed televangelist, Pat Robertson (apparently also animated by an outside force making his head and mouth move in memorable ways, too). Left-handed Reverend Pat, however, imagines himself to be Christ’s Right Hand Man, as well as Mr. “Right Wing,” Mr. “Right Thinking,” and Mr. “Right Leaning”…so many rights and still just plain-old-wrong.

Another upstanding left-hander is the politico (and Viagra spokes-model) Bob Dole. Having lost the use of his right hand during World War II, ever the politician, Dole always holds a pen in his non-functioning right hand, thereby cleverly persuading folks to shake his fully functioning left hand instead.

Then there’s the Renaissance Man of all Renaissance Men, Leonardo da Vinci – also a lefty - well kinda’. Twenty years after painting “The Last Supper” with his right hand - the unsinkable Leonardo’s right hand was suddenly paralyzed and so he taught himself to paint equally brilliantly (“Saint John the Baptist”, “Bacchus”, and “The Virgin and Child with St. Anne”) with his left hand for the last few years of his life.

And while left-handers were present in history and can now be seen all around us - like it or not - the world is really designed for right-handers. Take a look around - you’ll find right-handed mugs, right-handed scissors, right-handed sports equipment, right-handed corkscrews…you name it.

And if right-handed ergonomics isn’t bad enough, many countries (and religions no-less) suggest the use of one hand over the other for different daily purposes. In the Middle East, it is customary to use the left hand for cleaning one’s “rudie-bits” after visiting the facilities and - all-in-all - for cleaning just about anything. The right hand, well…that’s used for tidier and more refined stuff like eating and shaking hands.

I don’t know about you, but I do tons with both of my hands even though I am ultimately a right-ie. My mitts aren’t decorated with a Hindu’s henna or an heirloom from Harry Winston…they’re simple, hardworking hands. With them I clean like the dickens, string together the words that I’m known for, re-paint the walls of our home, sew on buttons, make beds, pet our dog, fold and sort laundry, drive screws, pull weeds and arrange flowers. Besides being handy (eh-hem) they also help me communicate by punctuating my words and the air around me with abstract yet necessary movements. Just like yours, my pair are part digits, part opposable thumbs, part palms, part nails and part wrists and they start where my arms end.

Whether you compose proclamations, harvest produce, prepare meals, play pianos, or put out fires, your hands are the most dexterous appendages you have. Hands are a great part of what separates us from other life forms—that, and our ability to accessorize, of course! With our hands we sense the elements, and through touch we are able to assemble and react physically to the tactile world. We make manifest our dreams with our hands and likewise leave behind our fingerprints on the world. For good or for bad, hands have “had a hand in” raising up civilizations and then extinguishing them over and over again.

Left-brain or a right-brain dominated, don’t become a modern day Pontius Pilate or Lady Macbeth by letting your dirty digits get out of hand. Healthy hand washing is easy to learn and teach. Try the following, and it’s “out damned spot!”

1. Always use warm water, partly filling a sink to save water.
2. Using soap and/or baking soda, rub your wet digits, palms and the backs of your hands for at least 20 seconds – about the time it takes to sing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” (in your head, please!).
3. For persistent stains, rub a cut lemon on the spots to lighten them.
3. Use a nailbrush to scrub caked-on dirt or paint and to clean the grime from under your fingernails.
4. Rinse well with fresh warm water, but don’t forget to immediately turn off the tap.
5. Then just dry thoroughly.

Left-ie or Right-ie…whether you’re “left” at the alter, waiting for “Mr. Left,” out in “left” field, being “left” behind (as opposed to being right behind?), and a ba-zillion other sayings better “left” unsaid - no matter how you look at it – two clean hands are infinitely better than having two right…ummm…two left feet.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-08-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

Martha Stewart’s Birthday
“Confession is good for the conscience,
but it usually bypasses the soul.”
~Mignon McLaughlin

Adore her or despise her, whether you think she’s “on the loose” or been wrongly reprimanded, one can’t help admiring the felonious domestic-diva known simply as “Martha.”

“Martha who?” you ask? Well…she’s not old enough to be Martha Washington and not large enough to be Martha’s Vineyard so it must be our birthday girl, Martha Stewart. She’s a one-named pop phenomenon - sort of like Coolio, Eminem, Jewel, Usher, Bjork, Britney, and Cher. (But just try to keep a straight face imagining any of them in an apron!) She’s the omnipresent OmniMedia mogul of print, cyberspace, radio and television who clawed her way into our hearts and “good things” by reframing the ten commandments of cleaning, organizing, nutcups-n-partyfavors, trolling for antiques (we prefer to call it gay-fishing), extravagant meal preparations, crafting and glue-gunning 101, flower arranging, everything housekeeping, and even child and pet “management.”

And what would a birthday party thrown for the queen-bee of organization, maintenance and tidiness look like? I’m imagining a tony late-afternoon event somewhere in the Hamptons on a freshly manicured lawn behind a century old home with 15 foot-high privet hedges and opulent ocean views. I envision the property dressed with buttery-yellow and white striped tenting and tablecloths, twinkling paper lanterns dangling from every bough, a temporary dance floor with ample room for a small jazz ensemble, and a buffet piled high and tall with lemony cupcakes, bowls filled with lemon-drops, personalized buttery-yellow napkins, vintage-inspired tableware (no doubt from her new WalMart line…ca-ching!), lemon topiaries, and of course…lemonade. And nearer the waters edge, for the youngest guests, all dressed in matching yellow gingham outfits, a slide, jungle gym, a swing set and maybe even a sandbox—filled, no doubt, with special buttery-yellow sand.

Of course what separates us mere mortals from the Goddess of Good Taste, is that she can make a command, clap her hands, wave her magic wand, and poof - all of the above can easily happen – right down to the perfectly colored sand. Now, for the other 99.99% of us, we settle for the sandbox sand schlepped from Home Depot. But regardless, custom sand or run-of-the-mill sand, once it’s in the sandbox it’s instantly magical and special because it can be formed into numberless shapes - castles, mountains, mermaids, and even the occasional imaginary birthday cake – and keep us amused for hours on end.

And for those who missed the subtle but crucial life-lessons learned while digging, common-courtesy sandbox-rules run neck-in-neck with the Ten Commandments (except, of course, for the ever important "Don’t eat the sand” and “If you think that the cat was in there earlier it probably was.”)

When kids and babies huddle together in a sandbox hour after hour, digging to “China,” they unearth trust, develop kindness and learn consideration. First-friendships are formed and (like it or not), it’s in these childish pursuits that we establish the kind of interactions we carry out for a lifetime.

So on Martha’s birthday, in her honor, remember that while the Queen of Clean may be King of the Mountain - if you remember your sandbox days -she ain’t got nothing on you!

And just like Martha, in the hands of any gifted individual, lemons can make a birthday party or holiday event that much more special. But after the party, the leftover lemons are perfect for brightening white fabrics (substitute lemon juice equally for chlorine bleach), removing discolorations on cutting boards (smoosh it everywhere and let it sit overnight) and – of course - making the best lemonade ever. But lemon juice, too, has its limitations. It unfortunately can’t remove stains from a soul…even you-know-who’s.

(Sandbox Rule No.1: Cher your Eminem.)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-07-31T17:49:00.000-07:00

Harry Potter's Birthday
“Magic is believing in yourself,
if you can do that, you can make anything happen.”
~ Goethe

Somewhere within her fertile imagination, in her darkened inner alleyways crowded with personal Wizards and Muggles, finding comfort in the black and white of words on a page, and inventing a safe haven for herself (and her millions of readers) in a storybook universe, the author of the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling, created a mystical and magical life of spells, incantations, illusions and make-believe.

As a child she lived next to a graveyard, was drawn to the mystery of the nearby woods, and fantasized while cleaning her neighborhood church – all somewhat similar to the otherworldly confections she dreamed up and later inhabited with Harry Potter, the bespectacled, pop-cultural literary hero who once lived in a cubbyhole under the stairs in his evil Aunt and Uncle’s house.

Once an owl delivers a mysterious letter on his birthday, Harry learns that he’s not just a regular person, doomed to the abuses of his adoptive family. In an instant his life is changed, and we follow him while he discovers what it takes to become the wizard he was born to be.

Entering the unearthly wizards academy of Hogwarts, he studies Astronomy, Herbology, Potions, The Care of Magical Creatures, The History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and other other-wordly pursuits. It’s where he learns to see into the future, finds his ability to change one object into another, masters flying a broomstick and crams his head with Charms.

Charms are positive magical spells that mesmerize and bedazzle people or things into making them behave differently or do something completely new. In Harry’s world there are charms that unlock doors, some that offer cheer, ones that dry water, others that make people grow in size, make things levitate, make buildings appear and then disappear, travel through time, prevent or allow eavesdropping, move objects, erase memory, cause uncontrollable laughter and my favorite… Scourgify: The Scouring Charm…the charm that cleans things.

Although Scourgify-ing is a minor, but useful, charm, its powers are used to clean unfortunate and otherwise nasty stuff from everyday surfaces. In the world of Harry Potter it’s used to clean feces (that’s’ a grown-up word for poop), it’s used to remove rancid odors, and it’s even used to wash bad attitudes from mouths.

For many, Potter’s world only began when Rowling’s written page was brought to life on the big screen, when folks from all walks of life sat in darkened theaters across the globe…soaking-in the words and images. But when reality breaks the shadowy mysticism of moviemaking, it’s then that we discover that we’re soaking in soda, popcorn and other super-sized movie snacks too.

But to Scourgify these kinds of stains in your Muggle home it’ll unfortunately take more than a wave of a wand or some hocus-pocus. Since I've never seen a dark carbonated beverage permanently stain anything (they usually come out in the wash), it’s the scourge of oil from the buttery flavor-topped popcorn that will be your only challenge.

Like any real wizard, you’ll need a pinch of this and dash of that. Any oil or grease based stain will need four basic ingredients to make them disappear: borax, baking soda, salt and white vinegar. Sprinkle a bit of each of the dry ingredients over the stain and then give it a splash of vinegar. You’ll have an instant “bubble-bubble, toil and (no) trouble!” Just scrub the area bit, let it sit a “spell” and then launder as usual. Presto-change-o, the grease stain has disappeared…as if by magic!

When the reality of life hits the proverbial fan and the true mystery and wizardry of life disappears, it’s the subliminal “magic” around us that makes it right again. Not the theatrics found within the pages of Harry Potter, but the simple stuff that occurs every day in small ways all around us. Magic isn’t something you need to go to Hogwarts to master. Magic is about having faith in yourself, your abilities to change, and your willingness to make anything…a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g... a reality.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-07-26T14:01:00.000-07:00

Thread the Needle Day
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi

Yes, there actually is a Thread the Needle Day - I don’t make this stuff up! (Why there is a Thread the Needle Day, I haven’t a clue, but since there is one, we should celebrate it together!)

Whether you’re a tailor, seamstress, upholsterer, surgeon or just someone with a toe poking through a sock, almost anyone can sew. It all starts with choosing the right sewing needle.

“Sharps” are the most common type of needle, but there are plenty of others, too. There are “ballpoints” used for sewing knits, “betweens” used for tailoring, “bodkins” meant for threading elastic, “crewel” needles used for embroidery, “darning needles” meant for…darning (duh), “glovers” used for sewing leather, “milliners” used for basting and pleating (and hat-making, too, I suppose), “sail maker” needles used for sewing thick canvas, and “upholstery needles” used for sewing heavy fabrics, tufting or for tying quilts.

That’s probably more than you will ever need to know (or ever wanted to know) about needles. Now once you’ve chosen the right tool for the task at hand, cut a strand of thread, string, yarn, or filament long enough to sew up the deal. And with just a little spit to keep the ends moist and together - pass, loop, or wind it through the eye.

The eye or egg-shaped opening opposite the pointy end is meant for holding the thread during the act of sewing. Easier said than done - ya’, ya’, ya’…I know, I need to wear my bifocals - and for the visually or hand-eye coordination challenged, there’s always one of those wiry needle threading thingies that for some reason always seem to have the profile of Marie Antoinette embossed on them—but I digress.

The infamously undersized and difficult to thread openings are the very same ones mentioned metaphorically in holy passages from Judaic, Christian, and Islamic texts. Each religion has parables referencing the complexities of the material world (not material in the cloth sense, but material in the material sense) emhasizing the difficulty of change and the absurdity of our resistance to it even when something better is guaranteed. And there ya go…we bury our feet in the sand and the act of moving forward becomes kinda’ like passing something a whole lot bigger than thread through the eye of a needle.

To the uninformed, Thread the Needle Day is a celebration of those who baste, darn, embroider, hem, patch, tat or seam (Garment Workers of the World, Unite!). But looked at from a slightly different angle, we have a day that acknowledges the intense amount of energy and concentration it takes to walk that fine line, wrestle with difficulties, and overcome the distractions and obstacles life throws our way. (Teetering near a small “steaming pile” with the risk of falling into yet an even bigger one!)

Take for instance the example of “The Emperor's New Clothes” by Hans Christian Andersen - a fairy tale about traveling tailors and a self-involved leader who is eventually conned into wearing elegant duds supposedly invisible to people who are too dim-witted to recognize their true beauty, when it is really he who is too dim-witted to know that he is “butt nekked.” As the story goes - fully clad in his imaginary regalia the Emperor pranced his royal bareness throughout the town for all his people to see. Dressed in nothing but his birthday suit, the crowd, fearful of being thought brainless, foolish or thick, “Oohh-ed” and “Aahh-ed”…but for the voice of one small child willing to be different, thread that damn needle, speak truth to power and finally say, “The Emperor is naked.”

I’m guessing that none of you reading this has marched or run before a crowd in the raw (recently that is). I’m also willing to wager that the closest thing to “nude” or “running” that most of us ever experience in adulthood is an unfortunate tear in a certain shade of pantyhose—whether you’re wearing them or bellyaching about them drip-drying in the bathroom. But here’s a truly magical trick to prevent runs in new pantyhose…

First, wash the newly unwrapped pantyhose by hand and allow them to air dry. Then mix two cups of salt with one gallon of water and soak them for three hours. Just rinse them in cool water, and hang them up again till they’re dry as a bone. This will make your new hosiery stronger and less apt to run while you strut, stride or swagger.

Thread the Needle day is when each of us can courageously change the things we can, even if it’s just our pantyhose (ooh - that was bad, even for me!). No matter what your situation – in stitches, threadbare, or in a love-knot, we all can sew seeds for the future. And like that little kid in “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” speak truth to power, get through that proverbial eye of the needle, and embrace the changes in life that are certainly awaiting you.

Remember, threading that needle is change, and change is a choice…sew suture self.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-07-16T03:57:00.000-07:00

National Anti-Boredom Month
“What’s wrong with being a boring kind of guy?”
~ George Bush

Vacant, aloof, lethargic and sluggish…(Yawwwwn)…while lazily going through my calendar to see what I might write about this week…(Yawwwwn)…I drowsily discovered that this month is…(Yawwwwn)…National Anti-Boredom Month. (I somehow missed Nude Recreation Week—oh well, there’s always next year—whatever…Yawwwwn.)

Warm breezes and l-o-o-o-o-n-g lazy days filled with sunshine make this the…(Yawwwwn)…ideal season for boredom. Often underestimated, while being bored is when most folks kinda relax, put their feet up…(Yawwwwn)…chill out, maybe catch some shut-eye and, all-in-all, just take it mindlessly easy. When our guards are down, it’s also when we notice dumb stuff…cumulous clouds dancing across the crisp blue sky forming puffs that mimic mops, a windless whirl of cirrus that suddenly darkens into shadows of dustpans, and curls and swirls of nimbus clouds making unmistakable impressions of utility buckets. (What? I may occasionally get bored…(Yawwwwn)…but did you forget for a moment that I’m first and foremost a clean freak?)

OK, OK, snap out of it…enough of this nonsense!

While boredom is fine for a moment or two, for those of us who usually have ants our pants, we’re too busy to be bored—most of the time, we’re doing, doing, doing. (We just can’t make those voices shut-up!) I must admit that doing, doing, doing is my natural state of being – and hopefully, when in that state, my brain is fully engaged, too. When my noggin is in gear and my gray matter is running at full throttle I don’t have time to be bored. If you’re anything like me, more often than being bored, you’re inquiring, inquisitive, interested, interfering, intrusive, and investigating. And those are all good things, because the antidote to boredom is, yup…you guessed it…curiosity. (It may have killed the proverbial cat, but dollars to doughnuts, it won’t kill you.)

Curiosity happens when you enthusiastically explore your environment, survey your options, and simultaneously own both awe and doubt. It all starts with questioning the nuances of life, challenging the systems already in place, and bucking the authority around you. Because, if you didn’t already know…asking leads to knowing, knowing leads to understanding, understanding leads to thinking, thinking leads to mindfulness, and mindfulness leads to creativity.

So go out there and think that you can do anything, allow the world to be your oyster, examine the novelties around you, and embrace our changeable world. Albert Einstein long ago said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” Now there’s a man who was never bored!

So have fun, and while you’re allowing the world to be your oyster, remember that you can remove that smell of oysters from your hands by rubbing them with a halved lemon dipped in salt (What—did you actually think I would end this piece without a helpful cleaning tip!!??)

So, no matter what your age, stay curious, use your head, commit to learning one new thing every day, and always remember…when you say that you’re bored, others might just think you’re boring.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-07-06T07:13:00.000-07:00

The Dalai Lama’s Birthday &
National Fried Chicken Day
“Religion is no more the parent of morality
than an incubator is the mother of a chicken.”
~Lemuel K. Washburn

While pecking around for a name, the residents of a small town in Alaska almost settled on the name Ptarmigan. (…heh?) Problem was that nobody there could agree on how to spell it. Seemingly determined to become the butt of jokes, they simply decided on the name “Chicken” instead. Moist, plump, juicy, and with all the delicacy and richness you’d expect, the year-round population of Chicken, Alaska usually wavers somewhere between 17 and 37 people. And when visiting you’ll find the usual breasts, legs, and thighs – as part of the poultry and the local citizenry alike. But if you’re on the hunt for a fried chicken fast-food chain, you might not find it in Chicken but perhaps in a town close by.

Now most folks either just plain ol’ love or really hate fried chicken…I’m in the first group. My friend, Lynda, makes the most mouth-wateringly delicious, spicy fried chicken I’ve ever had. (I wish I could eat it every day!) In the off chance of your being lucky enough to ever experience Lynda’s amazing culinary craft for yourself, as per the 2007 Bon Appetit search for the “Best Fried Chicken in the U.S,” you’ll need to travel either to Blackberry Farm in Walland, TN, Price’s Chicken Coup in Charlotte, NC, or to Willa Mae’s Scotch House in New Orleans to find anything close to hers!

And if you’re not a gourmet, and don’t mind your chicken fresh from the hopper and served up in a bucket while tailgating, there are pedestrian mainstream varieties available, too. The most famous chain is the one with the old dude with the white hair, beard and suit…you know who I’m talking about. “The Colonel” made fried chicken his finger-lickin' lifetime passion. As the company’s spokesman, he touted its eleven secret herbs and spices all day, every day.

And then there is that other group that despises fried chicken. In the event that you have the great fortune to chat with the Dalai Lama, whatever you do - don’t mention fried chicken - it’s a very touchy subject for His Holiness. Psssst…in case you didn’t know, he’s actually asked the parent company of “you-know-who” to refrain from opening their fast food outlets in his homeland of Tibet. So while fried chicken won’t make its way to Mt. Everest anytime soon thanks to the Dalai Lama, some other gastronomic who-dunit’s like “Pizza Gut” and “Taco Hell,” both owned by the Colonel’s parent company, will. (How could Mr. Lama hate fried chicken but be okay with mass-produced doughy pizzas and ersatz Mexican food?)

To his great credit, the Dalai Lama doesn’t judge others for enjoying the Colonel’s Original Secret or even his Extra Crispy Recipes. (Whew…what a relief. My partner Richard and I went on vacation to Puerto Rico, and instead of experiencing the delicious native cuisine, we mostly consumed variety buckets along with industrial sized sodas, instead.) In His Holiness’s letter to the folks who make that fried chicken so mmm-mmm good, the Dalai Lama stated that he has been “particularly concerned with the sufferings of chickens.”

Nobel Peace Prize winner, Birthday-boy, recipient of numerous human rights and humanitarian awards, the head of state and spiritual leader of the Tibetan people, not to mention the hero of hens everywhere, Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, lives in the mountain town of Dharamsala in northern India, where he maintains a government in exile. And while The Dalai Lama enjoys a reputation of sainthood that’s supported by his sage words and humanistic deeds, good guess is that he won’t be enjoying Fried Chicken on his birthday or at any other occasion.

But in the event that you happen to love the Southern Fried bird, just be careful making it. The causes of grease fires are often attributed to pans of hot oil being left on a burning stove. So if by chance your range is engulfed in flames - either in Chicken, Alaska, in your own hometown, or even in Dharamsala - extinguish the grease fire by sprinkling baking soda all over it until the flames are out.

And so, teaching us to approach love and cooking with both mindfulness and reckless abandon, our birthday-boy, The Dalai Lama, has lovingly reproached “The Colonel” for his continuing to cook and recklessly deep-fat fry those tasty birds, anywhere - but particularly in Tibet.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-07-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

Independence Day &
Tom Sawyer Fence-Painting Day
"A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."
~Mark Twain

I’m self-sufficient, and often (well…sometimes) independent. And yes, I’ve even painted a few fences in my day…scalloped, straight edged, dog-eared, flat top, French Gothic, wrought iron, and even the simpler traditional white picket variety.

In the event that you’ve never had the thrill of doing so yourself, it goes something like this - in the blazing sun you stand at one end with a bucket of paint in one hand and a brush in the other, sighing, dipping your brush in the paint, sighing some more, dripping paint here and there, swiping the paint-filled brush up and down said fence, wiping the sweat from your brow, only to repeat this over and over, again and again, interminably from one boring end to the other—wishing you were anywhere else, doing anything else.

Independent thinking is a rarity these days, but it’s a bare necessity when hoping to see and act clearly. And clearly the independent and fast-thinking Tom Sawyer, the smart-aleck kid whose adventures were brought to life in the book by Mark Twain, made whitewashing his fence look like such a blast that he was able to dupe all his friends into doing the tedious job for him while he kicked-back, soaked in the sun and simply watched - thereby delegating and declaring his independence from fence painting.

Independence Day, also known as The 4th of July, commemorates the 1776 event when our nation’s founding fathers signed The Declaration of Independence – a watershed of clarity in the history of democracy that united the American colonies and once and for all clearly declared our independence from the tyrannical rule of Great Britain.

What’s more, Independence Day is the nation's Birthday and what better way to pull out the stops than by celebrating with parades, patriotic displays, picnics, pyrotechnics and just about anything red, white and/or blue…including paint for fences.

Now in the event that you don’t have the clarity of mind or the independent spirit necessary to properly clean your paintbrushes in a timely fashion, you can soften hardened bristles by soaking them in hot full-strength white vinegar. Place the vinegar in a glass or plastic cup in the microwave (or in a pan on the range top) and bring it to a slow boil. Remove it from the heat source and soak your paintbrushes in it overnight. That usually does the trick.

The iconic and metaphorical “white picket fence” has become a symbol embodying the so-called American Dream. But in reality, it needs continual maintenance. So in lieu of the fence or the smarts to get your friends to paint it for you, how does one achieve the American Dream? Maybe it’s in moments of independence, when we see and act with clarity, and when our original ideas succeed, that the dream is found in our own definitions…not Tom Sawyer’s.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

2008-06-28T04:46:00.000-07:00

The Invention of the Toothbrush
“The first thing I do in the morning
is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
~Dorothy Parker

As I recall - the kid loses a tooth and it gets stuffed under a pillow before he or she drifts off to sleep. (Sometimes it’s stashed in a glass of water beside the bed...I’ve been told it’s easier to find the little bugger that way.) And when the sun cracks over the horizon a replacement is often found - be it a quarter, a buck, or a gift – and its all thanks to The Tooth Fairy.

The Tooth Fairy is this mythical, make-believe, whatcha’-ma-call-it that nocturnally twitters through the night air and speeds from bedside to bedside collecting the fallen teeth of little children, sometimes leaving a trinket for the tooth as an honorarium for its loss. It gives the rug-rats a false sense of belief in the intangible, a whodunit to solve, and forces them to begin to distinguish the difference between the actual and the make-believe, thus beginning every child’s mistrust of its parental units.

At about six years, baby teeth naturally start to wiggle, loosen and usually fall out so that adult teeth may have their permanent home. And while this event might cause any kid to completely freak out, it’s a normal part of life and it happens to us all—Tooth Fairy, or not.

Although it might be natural for teeth to fall out as a child, it isn’t for adults, and one of the best ways to make sure that your teeth stay firmly planted in your adult head is by daily committing to brushing them. That means getting in there a few times a day (at the least, once in the morning and once in the evening, but best after every meal) with a brush and your favorite toothpaste…it’s the optimum way to remove plaque, which consists mostly of bacteria. (And of course, remember to shut that running tap off while you’re brushing and sing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” in your head—when the song is done, you’re done!). A toothbrush can get most of the oo-and-goo, but the flotsam and jetsam left behind is easily tackled with dental floss. When you get into the swing of flossing you’ll discover the thrill of what many consider the best way to remove plaque from all of the nooks and crannies along the gumline where periodontal disease most times begins. (A regularly scheduled professional cleaning and polishing by a dental hygienist is also a nice touch.)

And to keep your toothbrush fresh as a daisy - after brushing - rinse it completely with water, allow it to air-dry (who invented that silly toothbrush-cozy…heh?), stash it at least six feet away from a toilet (ewww…) in an upright position and without touching other toothbrushes. The manufacturers of synthetic toothbrushes recommend disposing of them every three or four months, too. And it’s also a good idea to break-in a new toothbrush once you have finished with a cold.

Because it’s such a common item, one would think that the toothbrush would have been made in the seven days that the heavens and the earth and Adam and Eve where created. (I just assumed they both must have had Pepsodent Smiles—didn’t you?) This week, however, marks the observance of the humble toothbrush’s creation. (How do I know these things? Don’t ask, just trust me!)

The toothbrush as we know it was invented in the 15th century in China and was originally concocted of boar’s hair or horsehair and bamboo or bone. Immediately loved for its functionality, toothbrushes were hauled back by the boatload to Europe by travelers to the East, thus introducing the Western world to a new and convenient form of oral hygiene –quite possibly Western man’s first attempt at it ever! (Next, I think, came deodorant, but that’s for another blog.)

The modern, disposable toothbrush that we’ve all come to know and love, however, is most often made of more durable and long-lasting synthetics and plastic. And all of this made me start to thinking about how we need to be mindful of the small stuff that makes up our lives and how small actions can have big consequences. Take for instance the simple act of throwing away that synthetic and plastic toothbrush:

If you consider that the average human life expectancy today is about 78 years and then multiply that by the times one might replace a toothbrush (every 4 months or so) you get a grand total of 312 toothbrushes used and then discarded by any given individual during his or her time on the planet.

Then, figuring that each toothbrush weighs 16.5 gm, in total, every person on the planet (about 6,602,224,175) throws away approximately 11 pounds of toothbrushes in a lifetime. Soooo – if 6,602,224,175 people throw away 11 pounds of toothbrushes each, we’re stuck with something like 72,624,465,925 pounds of non-biodegradable waste. That’s 36,312,233 tons - a pile the size of 80,000 Statues of Liberty. (It sure redefines the line “…the wretched refuse of your teeming shore” from the famous Emma Lazarus poem found at Lady Liberty’s feet.)

So the next time you or someone in your household needs a new toothbrush, consider switching to a newfangled biodegradable one made of corn or potato starch, flax or wood fiber, and natural bristles. You can easily find them on line.

Although The Tooth Fairy could once ease the pains of losing baby teeth - powerful as she (or he) may be - nobody can make 36,312,233 tons of discarded toothbrushes disappear. That heap of non-biodegradable trash can only vanish by not making it in the first place.

Now go floss!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-06-15T06:24:00.000-07:00

Fathers Day
"It doesn't matter who my father was;
it matters who I remember he was. "

~Anne Sexton

From years of gentle rolling waves, the waters of Lake Michigan deposited piles of powder-white sun-bleached sand into monolithic climbable dunes. Along with the sound of the water, it’s slathered sunbathers, bristly tall beach grass, tangles of driftwood being tossed back and forth and small clams leaving trails of bubbles through the sand as the water retreated from the roll of the latest wave - being so near to one of the Great Lakes was like having an ocean nearby.

As kids at the beach, we would walk its length until we sensed it would be an equally long walk back and while doing so collected stones and shells that had been transformed by the constant unnoticeable grind of the sand and water. And as the day would dwindle away and as our heads, forearms and shoulders would become pink from a day at the shore, the citrus glow of the sun would move to a place behind the dunes and we would collect our stuff, load up our car, and head home.

The beach around Lake Michigan was nearby and our family would begin our day there with my dad making pancakes in the campgrounds' barbecue pits. In a metal bowl, the eggs, milk and instant batter from a box would be fluffed with a large spoon while the coals of the fire would be nursed to a glowing red-hot perfection. The appearance of his large blackened cast iron pan would mean that in a minute, the butter would be hot enough and we’d hear the much-anticipated sizzle and crackle of almost burned pancakes which he quickly plated up for the next hungry mouth.

To some, my dad, Floyd, might have been a dismissible man - quiet, soft spoken and shy. But to each of his three kids he was the world. Each winter he turned our driveway into an ice-rink, in the spring he’d bring us all fishing, during the school year he quietly sat through our torturous music lessons and every fall he painfully but proudly sat though our concerts. While shuttling us from point to point, he quietly watched, listened and guided. And although he worked the midnight shifts at the steel mill, had only a grade school education, and spoke English as his second language, he did so many wonderful things that I’ve only come to appreciate as an adult -including teaching me how to clean that heavy cast iron skillet at the beach.

He taught me to always clean our pancake-pan by first boiling water in it, and then letting it soak for several minutes. He then had me empty its crud-filled contents, wipe it dry with a towel, reheat it and then finally coached me to dab just enough oil to cover all of its surfaces before storing it back in the trunk of our Chevy, ready for the next sunrise breakfast at the beach.

I’m still discovering the gifts my father gave me and try to remember him for the complicated and swell man he was – thoughtfully doing the best he could while allowing us kids to watch and patiently teaching us the fine art of making lemonade when-and-if you’re lucky enough to have the world give you lemons.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-06-08T14:45:00.000-07:00

National Bathroom Reading Week
“Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.”
~Mason Cooley

Yeah’ - you do it - go ahead and fess up. Many folks, both men and women, immerse themselves into their favorite literature while making their bladder gladder. If you're a bathroom reader, there’s no reason for shame - you’re not alone. Surveys tell us that roughly two-thirds of North Americans admit to reading in the bathroom.

It's not just a “dude” thing either, (unless those piles of Vogue, Mademoiselle, and Marie Claire are for men who are attempting to tap into the freshest fashion trends) and it's not just an American thing either. If you realy think about it, why not read? The “loo” is often the coolest and the lightest room in most homes, and for some, the restroom is often an island of calm in an otherwise topsy-turvy world. (Hmmm…I wonder if the porcelain-palace was the inspiration for “A Clean Well Lighted Place” by Ernest Hemingway?) And you can always learn something new, novel and exciting while you’re…ummm…waiting. For instance, the Scott Paper Co. conducted a survey revealing that two-thirds of people who read in the bathroom have either masters or doctorate degrees.

By reading too, you’re not just multi-tasking, you’re enriching your mind, and come to think of it – you’re also promoting literacy. And although he wasn’t publicly an advocate of reading, W.C. Fields considered his bathroom his library. And much like him, while “loitering” perhaps you’ll consider enjoying one of the classics like “Gone with the Wind,” “Lord of the Flies,” “A Raisin in the Sun,” “Watership Down,” or maybe even “Great Expectations”…you get my drift.

And while personally, I’m not an advocate of paging through poems on the potty, jones-ing for journalism on the john, craving copy on the can, or even thumbing the thesaurus on the throne - someone I’m most near and dear to (…and you know who you are) is. I’ve been assured, however, that reading in the bathroom isn’t as nasty as it appears, and that other areas of most homes are probably less hygienic.

In the event that your bathroom isn’t too tidy, to make National Bathroom Reading Week a family tradition in your home, you’ll need to remember just few things. Make it wholesome, strive for sanitary, keep it sparkling and lean to clean. To do so, place one cup of baking soda down your toilet or drain every week to help maintain the PH balance of your septic tank and to keep it flowing smoothly. Follow by adding one-quarter cup borax to your toilet bowl to help clean and deodorize it. Swish the mixture with a brush and allow it to stand for at least an hour or even better, overnight… then just flush.

Who knows, the luster of your lavatory may just trigger a tome.

As you all know, I don’t read books; I write them…you’ll never catch me doing “that” in “there.” But if you’re so inclined, for National Bathroom Reading Week, by all means plunge into your favorite book.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-06-04T05:51:00.000-07:00

Dare Day
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
~Helen Keller

There are folks who dare to go bare, those that challenge others with the dreaded double or triple-dog dare, goof-balls that gamble with the laws of nature and gravity by becoming stuntmen or daredevils, and yet even more who risk their dignity by playing the ever-embarrassing “Truth-or-Dare.”

I’m sure everyone has played the well-known game at some time or another. But in the event that you haven’t: the challenger begins by asking another player "Truth or Dare?" If the player answers, “Truth,” then the challenger gets to ask the opponent an embarrassing question that’s then answered truthfully in front of the other players. If, however, the questioned player answers, “Dare,” then the challenging player gets to “dare” the opponent to do something ridiculous, stupid, embarrassing, or dangerous - sort of the at-home version of the TV show, “Jackass.”

On Dare Day - this annual occasion to be audacious - take the initiative to confront your family, friends and colleagues with pranks, challenges, and silly antics to make this holiday especially daring. You might begin by daring a friend to draw a moustache on someone while they’re sleeping, taunt the mailman to brush your teeth for you, provoke your cousin to lick the armpits of an acquaintance, defy your neighbor to drink tequila out of someone else’s navel, urge your housekeeper to sport a toilet paper turban, goad your accountant to wear his underpants inside-out, or challenge your secretary to yodel.

Of course, “Truth of Dare” is only a game and should be done in the spirit of good fun. But in a more serious way, whether dared or daring or both, over the course of history/her-story, there have been individuals who have exhibited mind-blowing courage and true grit toward a variety of challenges. Luckily for us, their daring made a significant difference to society.

Take for example the daring Harriet Tubman. She was born into slavery and by the age of nine was used as the plantation nurse and housekeeper. Later in life she escaped slavery, and prior to the Civil War, led other slaves to freedom through The Underground Railroad. She actually fought for the Union, and after the war she fought for Women’s Suffrage. This courageous African-American woman, who by all accounts was not a yodeler or ever wore a toilet paper turban, was nicknamed “Moses” because, at great risk to her own life and limb, she dared to free her people.

Another great woman who dared to fight the establishment was Rosa Parks, a housekeeper, insurance agent, and seamstress, who is best known for her 1955 Montgomery, Alabama bus ride. As a woman of color, Ms. Parks chose not to give up her bus-seat for a white passenger (then a colossal act of bravery and civil disobedience) thereby instigating the Montgomery Bus Boycott - one of the largest movements against racial segregation in history. (Imagine how different things would have been had she dared to draw a moustache on the bus driver instead!)

And how about Indira Gandhi? When Great Britain released its control over India, and the Indian Empire was divided into India and Pakistan, India erupted into violence. Prior to the civil unrest, Indira served as her father's hostess and housekeeper (anyone recognizing a pattern yet?). Yet at this critical moment in her country’s history, she stepped up, took control of her father's mansion, and assisted him with political matters. Together, father and daughter worked towards peace.

Unlike motorcyclist and daredevil Evel Knievel - Tubman, Parks and Gandhi never dared to do anything as revolutionary as jumping over the dancing fountains at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Admittedly, however, while none of their brave actions required a Harley, they were, nonetheless, inspired. But in the event that they were ever closeted “motor-heads” - being the fine housekeepers that they all were at one time in their lives - my good guess is that they would never have suffered the indignity of motor oil stains on their driveways or garage floors left by their “hogs”(if they had them.) They’d have dared to do something about them too.

In the event that such stains plague your garage or driveway, just muster up the courage to sprinkle baking soda over those greasy spots and allow the powder to absorb them. I then triple-dog dare you to add a bit of water to the baking soda to form a paste and then, if you have the guts, proceed to brush or scrub the mess up. The truth? - the baking soda should take care of most of the oily spills or stains. But if not? Ehhh—you’ll get over it—it’s only a garage floor.

By comparison, messed up floors are small potatoes. Now go out and do something really daring.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-05-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

Memorial Day
“Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter

Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter

Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.”
~Bob Merrill and Jule Styne

Memorial Day commemorates U.S. men and women who have died on distant shores, drowned in far away seas, seared on hot desert sands or have battled in desolate jungles all while performing their military service to our country. When Memorial Day began, the casualties of the American Civil War were the center of remembrance with its original name being Decoration Day - a day when many still leave flowers at cemeteries. Today Memorial Day is acknowledged in the United States as a Federal Holiday on the last Monday of May and as a time to remember those who have passed on, whether in war or otherwise.

Many people thoughtfully observe the importance of this day by participating in a national moment of remembrance, by flying the U.S. flag at half-staff from dawn until noon, by visiting burial grounds such as the Arlington National Cemetery where volunteers place an American flag on each gravesite or by visiting monuments of remembrance such as the minimal yet moving Vietnam War Memorial by sculptor and architect Maya Lin in Washington, DC.

Beyond all of the solemnity - if sunny, warm and lovely - it’s also a day committed to ball games, picnics, side-walk sales, veterans selling poppies, small town parades, barbecues, department store sales, and the formal “kick-off” of summer.

Having grown up in the small town of Lansing on the south side of Chicago, I enjoyed all of the hokey things that life there had to offer. The traditional Memorial Day parade, an extravaganza that involved Girl Scouts, Brownies, the Little League, the local high school band accompanied by a bevy of buxom ladies from the pep-squad, fezz-ed’ shriners in their little cars, the local fire and police departments, the representatives from the Knights of Columbus and of course our local veterans – almost two thirds of the town watching the other one-third march.

As a kid I marched in every Memorial Day parade with the local high-school band. (Go Rebels!) We skillfully memorized the music to “The Star Spangled Banner,” “America the Beautiful,” “A Horse With No Name,” “God Bless America” and “Bad-Bad Leroy Brown.”(It’s good to mix it up. The bystander’s stay surprised that way.) The parade would start on the north side of town and end up on the south side of town at a local park where refreshments were offered and the barbeques were warming.

You may be wondering why barbecue is sometimes spelled “barbeque” or "BBQ." (C’mon… don’t we have bigger fish to fry—or grill?) Evoking strong primal urges, barbecuing for many is a religious, zen-like experience with the combination of glowing coals and slow roasting; a ritualistic event that occurs in parks, backyards, your own personal “garden of eaten,” or anywhere one might fire up cookers. To describe barbequing from an enthusiast’s point of view, it’s about mindfully and patiently cooking, slathering and preparing food over an open flame to produce bold flavors in every tasty bite. It’s also about choosing regional and seasonal food that’s slow cooked so that the neighborhood, friends and family may enjoy, eat, nibble and slowly graze over it all.

On this National Holiday, in the event that you’re making plans to join the ranks at the outdoor-alter-of-gastronomy, here’s my recipe for what I consider the Best BBQ sauce:

· 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar
· ½ cup of ketchup
· 2 tablespoons of olive oil
· 1 large onion, finely chopped
· ¼ cup steak sauce
· ¼ cup of brown sugar
· ¼ cup of Worcestershire sauce
· hot sauce to taste

Begin by sautéing the onions in olive oil until tender and clear. Then just add the rest of the ingredients and simmer for about fifteen minutes on a low heat.

Then, may I suggest that you douse it on everything - get it everywhere - chops, ribs, burgers, tofu-pups, steaks, chicken, soy-burgers, mushrooms and even the corn – ours is an “equal opportunity” grill. And if you’re not covered with the stuff too, you’re clearly doing something wrong. (No paper-towels or napkins on Memorial Day. That’s what sleeves are made for!)

And when the parades and the picnics have ended and the spoils of the day lay before you, remember that all good things come to an end…even the stains. For the best removal of the Best BBQ Sauce, first eliminate the surface “schmootz” and then rinse the stained areas with cold water from the reverse side of the offender. Follow by creating a mound of baking soda covering each stain, and finish with a drizzle of white vinegar on top. Then simply launder as usual. The bubbling and sizzling reaction will force the sauce out of your fabric, and hopefully – in perfect Memorial Day style - you can salute your stains good-bye, too.

Happy Memorial Day!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).Please consider the environment.

2008-05-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

Liberace’s Birthday
“A piano is full of suppressed desires, recalcitrance, inhibition, conflict.”
~Anita T Sullivan

Through his live Las Vegas shows, highly popular television series, and oodles of promotional appearances, we all came to love the complicated “One-man Disneyland” known as Liberace. There he was, in all his glory, decked out in his trademark glitzy diamond-encrusted jewelry, capes trimmed in ostrich feathers, ermine and rhinestones (mountains of tough-n-tedious-to-clean finery, some literally weighing hundreds of pounds) — and sets crowded with custom-made grand pianos, live animals, one-of-a kind cars and stretch limos, high-kicking chorus girls and boys, hypnotists, jugglers, magicians, puppeteers and, of course, his ever-present twinkly candelabras.

Wladziu "Lee" Liberace was admired for the same reasons that folks dig Vegas. He took the haughtiness of high-culture, haute couture, fine art, and classical music - everything that once defined the upper echelons of society – and made them all approachable to the masses by calling into question what was considered “good taste.” With millions of dollars worth of high-priced props and his over-the-top persona, however, while on stage he was still able to vanish into what made him happiest of all–just playing the piano. Underneath it all, he was a true virtuoso.

To write this post in honor of Liberace's recent birthday (would have been May 16) I watched an hour of Liberace performances on You-Tube just to see for myself. What an original he was–his wacky stage antics clearly influenced the likes of Little Richard, Elton John, Bette Midler, Marilyn Manson and probably even KISS. But most miraculously, I saw the way he quietly disappeared into his music – off somewhere happily lost inside the rhythm and endless notes that lay scattered across the piles of sheet music in his head. How Zen…that even during his self-manufactured, stagey Las Vegas tumult, he found peace and joy in his own ability to masterfully play the piano.

What most people don’t know about “Lee,” however, is that in November 1963, the spectacle of Liberace almost ended when he was nearly killed by his own beloved costumes. It seems that night after night, while on stage, under the spotlights, as well as in his dressing room, he continuously breathed in the toxic fumes of the carbon tetrachloride used for cleaning his stage outfits. Additionally, the intense chemicals were released from the fabrics and were then absorbed into his skin, shutting down his kidneys and causing momentary renal failure. Although the prognosis was grim, he made a miraculous recovery and went on to entertain another generation of admiring fans.

I’m guessing that marabou doesn’t launder all that well. But then again, who of us wears capes trimmed in feathers, mink and rhinestones? (Publicly that is!) Most of us wear cotton and/or cotton blend clothing that can be easily washed. I personally prefer purchasing clothes that can be laundered over those that require dry cleaning. Not just because I’m a cheapskate, but because I don’t care to support the dry cleaning industry until it has a truly green standard (something they are working on). As for now, I choose to not wear clothing that must be chemically cleaned, with the potential to release those toxins into my skin (ala Liberace), as well as into the environment.

Liberace was all frills - and I am no frills! So if you’re like me and prefer to wear clothing that can be hand or machine washed, and would rather not use commercial detergents, it’s incredibly simple to make your own laundry soap. In a food processor, grind one bar of Ivory soap with two boxes of baking soda and a cup of borax (as a water softener). Pulverize the contents until the mixture is powdery and soft. Depending on the size of the load and how dirty the contents are, use one-quarter to one-half cup per load of laundry. Run your washer using the appropriate settings for the size and type of cycle required for the contents. Your clothes will be clean and the water used will not harm the environment.

Though the world almost lost a truly original entertainer because of toxic cleaning agents, over the years, with his bravado and charisma, Liberace amassed an astonishing assortment of esteemed honors. He was named Instrumentalist of the Year, Best Dressed Entertainer (says who?), and Entertainer of the Year. He also won two Emmy Awards, six gold albums, and was honored with not one but two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Best of all - despite his “dirty laundry” - he was known and loved throughout the world as the well-deserved “Mr. Showmanship.”

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).
Please consider the environment.

2008-05-11T05:17:00.000-07:00

Mother’s Day
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up
is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
~Phyllis Diller

“Don’t blow your nose. Just use your sleeve.”
“Is that shirt dirty? Ehhh…whatever.”
“Yeah, I ditched school too.”
“Sure…lets keep the dog.”
“Curfew –Schmurfew.”

…not exactly what you’d expect mothers to say. But if they did - the world wouldn’t be nearly the same place.

In the United States Mom’s Day falls on the second Sunday in May. The social activist, Julia Ward Howe toyed with the concept after the end of the Civil War but then; unfortunately, she failed to get it officially recognized as a holiday. Ann Jarvis, a young Appalachian homemaker, then again picked up the idea. And through her and her daughter Anna’s efforts we now have an official national holiday dedicated to the women who have given birth and/or have raised children.

Mother's Day, one of the most commercially successful U.S. holidays, is when female parents across the country get acknowledged for their contributions during the often thankless task of raising children.

Mothers are universal. There’s no denying it…we all had one. My mom, for instance, was wacky - sure - but she was a swell parent and probably no different from many others. Though it took me a lifetime to learn, she did the best she could with the resources and information she had. And despite her challenges and limited energy, her three children all turned out to be solid citizens. (A few college degrees here and there and no drug convictions or jail time served.)

And although my mom has been gone for almost twenty years I’ll never forget how she made our clothes, baked our bread, preserved our jams and jellies, cleaned like a twister out of control, helped us with our homework, read to us quietly each night before we went to bed, and ultimately, how she prepared us for the world. She made holiday treats and Halloween costumes, dressed us for proms, encouraged us to practice our music lessons, painted rooms single-handedly in an afternoon, and even occasionally mowed the lawn.

In response to their knitting sweaters (the ones my mom completed were “interesting” to say the least), preparing special meals (no matter how you slice it, a boiled cow’s heart on Valentines day is just plain sick), words of encouragement (“Honey, I know you just flattened a mailbox during you’re driving test…maybe next time.”), religious training ("You better pray that comes out of the carpet."), wisdom and guidance (“Maybe a pet alligator wasn’t such a good idea.”) and unconditional love and forgiveness (on Christmas Day, 1970, at the age of eight, I almost burned down the garage…sorry mom!) and quite simply doing, doing, doing and going, going, going—to all mothers everywhere, on this special day, we stop, take notice, pay honor, take her out for brunch and scramble for a bauble or trinket to show her how we feel.

So instead of giving a traditional gift like a box of drugstore chocolates or a Forget-Me-Not-Bouquet (Forget-Me-Not? How could she ever forget giving birth to you? The woman still has stretch marks on her backside with your name on them!), how about giving her a Forget-About-Cleaning-The-House-Bouquet. I suggest you make an arrangement of coupons committing yourself to a year of household duties. It might say something like “For your nine months of carrying me, I promise to carry out the trash for the next year.” Or how about “For your thirty-six hours of mind-numbing labor, I promise to clean the bathroom for any thirty-six hours of your choosing (non-consecutive hours of course, unless your mother was Joan Crawford).” Or what about, “For supporting and feeding me for 18 years, I promise to take you out or cook you dinner 18 times over the next year (just no cow hearts, OK!!??)”

Now that’s gratitude!

On Mother’s Day, whether she’s right there at home, hundreds of miles away, running for President or long gone and just a faint memory - for good or for bad, for better or for worse – take a moment and thoughtfully acknowledge her. Remember, she’s the one who gave you your first breath and lovingly looked into your eyes for the very first time. To the world you might just be one person, but to her - you are the world.

(Happy Mother’s Day, Mom...)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).Please consider the environment.

2008-05-03T06:25:00.000-07:00

May: Vinegar Month
“It is better to be preserved in vinegar than to rot in honey.”
~ E. Cobham Brewer

Although the fine folks in Roslyn, South Dakota hold an International Vinegar Festival in June, May is actually National Vinegar Month. However, if you do make it to Roslyn in time, you’ll see a mighty fine small-town parade consisting of the Roslyn marching band, children dressed as pickles, the Roslyn Firefighters (in my opinion - the best part), the guy who mows all of the municipal lawns (okay, he’s pretty swell too), horse drawn carriages, tractors, tractors and yet even more tractors and the Day County Veterans being pulled by – yes - a John Deere tractor. The festivities also include the crowning of the Royal Vinegar Court (a sour looking lot,) cooking demonstrations and food at the nation’s only Vinegar Museum.

Vinegar, from the French translation meaning “sour wine,” can be produced from all kinds fruits, berries, melons, coconut, honey, beer, maple syrup, potatoes, beets, malt, grains and whey. But the fundamental process remains unchanged no matter what the initial ingredients may be–first a fermentation of sugar to alcohol, and then a second go-round to vinegar. Viola! Acetic acid (aka vinegar) is born.

Whether rice, red wine, distilled white, aged balsamic or apple cider, the overwhelming essence of vinegar, to most of us, is always the same—sharp, tart and biting. But compared one to another, the subtle and not-so-subtle flavors are very different and are as varied as fine and not-so-fine wines are.

Vinegar has been around for millennia, and every faith, it seems, parables references to it, whether it be Confucianism, Buddhism, Taoism or Christianity. When and how their deity or followers responded to the tangy flavor of vinegar was then metaphorically used as a symbolic view of life and its situations.

The ancients stumbled upon the versatility of vinegar probably 10,000 years ago. The Babylonians used it as medicine, and also mixed it with herbs to flavor their meals. The Romans drank it as a beverage. Cleopatra dissolved pearls in it to prove she could devour a fortune in a single meal. (Ladies, please do not try this at home!) Biblical references show how it was used for its soothing and healing properties and yet as recent as World War I, vinegar was still being used to treat wounds in the battlefields.

Susan B. Anthony, referred to as the “vinegar” of the Female Suffrage movement was aggressive, ebullient, frisky, spunky, a fighter, and a no-nonsense kinda woman, who displayed all the classic traits of being full of “piss and vinegar.” The earliest citation of that term, however, is from 1938 in John Steinbeck's, The Grapes of Wrath.

Vinegar? Why am I writing about vinegar? Well…not because it’s new-fangled, or is in any way ultra-modern. And it can’t be confused for something that’s state-of-the-art, or attempts to be up-to-the-minute or high-tech. But what it is, is a highly affordable and super-safe eco-cleaning staple we should all get familiar with. Distilled white vinegar easily neutralizes alkaline soaps, effortlessly breaks down stubborn urine odors, quickly polishes patent leather, instantly removes static cling from clothing, flawlessly cleans mirrors and glass, simply deodorizes the air, effortlessly polishes chrome, carefully removes soap scum and hard water spots, dependably cleans your automatic drip coffee maker and, in a pinch, even lifts accidentally spilled white glue. This 10,000 year-old elixir is a modern-day cleaning miracle!

It’s said, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” So be a sweetie and just simply clean with the sour stuff. Store it in a sealed container full strength, dilute it 50/50 with water in a recycled spray bottle for everyday use, or mix 1 tablespoon in 1 quart of water in another recycled sprayer for a great window cleaner. There is never a need for refrigeration. Vinegar’s shelf life is eternal.

Don’t find yourself in a pickle by letting Vinegar Month pass you by. There are 1,001 uses for it other than dressing a salad—so why not invent the 1,002nd eco-friendly way to celebrate vinegar for yourself.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

2008-04-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

Zipper Day

”Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay—My, oh, my, what a wonderful day.

Plenty of sunshine headin' my way—Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!”

~Ray Gilbert

(from Disney’s Song of the South)

In spite of the miracle of Velcro, it appears that the zipper, and annual Zipper Day, are here to stay. Never heard of Zipper Day? It’s when all people, adolescent or octogenarian, can proudly display and play with their zippers.

Be annoying and obnoxious…yes, that’s right…up and down, up and down, up and down. This zippy holiday only comes once each year, so make the most of it. But may I suggest monkeying with the zipper on your coat rather than the one on your pants or dress? (Noodling around with either of those in public might just send the wrong message—but that’s for you to decide!)

The modern-day zipper is the culmination of a series of improvements made over more than twenty years by inventors and engineers. First, in the early 1890s, a mechanical engineer from Chicago, Whitcomb L. Judson, an appreciator of gizmos, doo-hickeys, and Rube Goldberg-esque thing-a-ma-jigs, invented what he called the “clasp-locker,” the precursor to what we know as the modern day zipper. Alas, though poor Whitcomb proudly exhibited his new closure device at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair, it was a complete and utter failure (OK, he did sell a grand total of 20 clasp-lockers to the Chicago postal service, but that was it!). His original device was more like a mechanized version of the button hook than the zipper we know of today, and he sadly died in obscurity in 1909, long before his revolutionary idea caught on and became one of the most commonly used and well-known technological advances of the 20th Century.

In 1913, however, the Swedish-American engineer, Gideon Sundbach, successfully improved on Judson’s primitive contraption, turning it into the item we all know and love—a simple, but brilliant contraption meant to temporarily join two pieces of material when engaged and then as easily, separate them when disengaged. The name “zipper” was actually coined by the rubber tycoon, Charles Goodyear, who flipped over the onomatopoetic noise the closure made on his newly patented vulcanized golashes—“z-i-i-i-i-p” up, and “z-i-i-i-i-p” down.

Simply put, a zipper is two strips of fabric tape with hundreds of oddly shaped interlocking “teeth” stuck onto the two pieces of fabric intended to be joined. A separate element called a “slider” (No…not that famous White Castle mini-burger we all crave when we’re drunk!) is moved up or down between the rows of teeth temporarily but securely joining the two separate sides, creating a perfect closure. We find zippers on anything from Elvis-inspired jumpsuits, haute couture evening gowns, tents (in some instances, indistinguishable from evening gowns), jeans, corsets, handbags, parkas, slipcovers, sleeping bags, hoodies and go-go boots.

While the basic principle has remained the same for nearly 100 years, the material for zipper teeth now includes plastic as well as the original metal. The teeth, regardless of what they are made of, dovetail together in an ingenious yin-yang-like fashion. In Chinese philosophy, yin-and-yang describes the contrast of exact opposites (earth and sky, water and fire, the left and the right), which, when combined, create a perfect unity of opposites…kinda’ like the slider on a zipper causing a perfect yin-yang interlocking of the teeth.

What most people fail to realize until it’s too late, however, is that like most types of gear and equipment, zippers also require some maintenance every now and then to prolong their usable life. Forcing zippers takes its toll on both the zipper and zipper slider (Think about how many times the slider “pull” has come off in your hand at the most inappropriate or inconvenient of times—forcing you to run for the pliers or a paperclip make-do!).

The flotsam and jetsam of life should be removed regularly from zipper teeth (if we were discussing your pearly-whites we’d both be on the same page about regular brushing and flossing.) An occasional lubricating with paraffin (a wax candle will do) grazed across the connecting teeth will both grease-the-works and add protection. Also, if your zipper is rusted or stuck, never force it. Instead, when seized up, if manufacturer’s cleaning instructions permit (or you test a hidden patch for color-fastness first), soak the garment with said stuck zipper in white vinegar, or better yet, brush it on along the front and back of the zipper (hopefully with you not in it.) The acid in the vinegar should dissolve whatever tiny particles may be causing the malfunction.

Regardless of the functionality of your zipper, whether “yin-ing” or “yang-ing,” always be mindful to “close your barn door!” Remember, XYZ-PDQ (Examine Your Zipper Pretty D@MN Quick!)

Made ya’ look!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

Please consider the environment.

2008-04-20T18:06:00.000-07:00

Earth Day and
the complexity of care.
“Ever mindful what it cost; Ever grateful for the prize…”
~ Joseph Hopkinson.

Every April showers us with special events and holidays. There’s Publicity Stunt Week, Straw Hat Week, National Reading a Road Map Week, National Coin Tasting Week (ya’… really!), Argue About Gun Safety Week (did I already say “ya’…really?), National Bubblegum Week, National Lingerie Week and the not-to-be-forgotten Egg Salad Week. But squished into the tail end of the month is just one day devoted to our planet… Earth Day. Just 1/365th solitary moment in the whole expanse of a year devoted to the place we all call home. Not even a month or a week, just a day.

Well, the truth be told, Earth “Day” gets even a bit more confusing because with the same name but two different dates on the calendar, the United Nations has Earth Day penned into their agenda for late March but the rest of us global citizens celebrate it officially on April 22nd. In any event, I suppose we should be grateful that there are actually two days a year dedicated to arouse our sensitivity for our delicate mother-ship, planet Earth.

The United Nation’s date (the 21st of March) is when we mark the beginning of the Vernal Equinox by welcoming in the first signs of spring—early bulbs breaking through the thawing ground, though often left to survive the dangers and unpredictability of foreboding late snow flurries and frost. Ever-hopeful, the days begin to grow longer, and nature begins to stir from under the four-month long frozen blanket of winter.

The lifelong activist and Earth Day founder, John McConnell, believed that love and prayer were more powerful than the destructive nature of man, and suggested his dream of Earth Day at a UNESCO Conference on the Environment in 1969. In hopes of celebrating the Earth's life and beauty, McConnell created the Earth Day Proclamation for Global Awareness, detailing mankind’s responsibility for stewarding, cleaning and preserving our planet for future generations.

In 1970, the April 22nd event that ultimately blossomed into the more widely recognized Earth Day, was founded by seeds originally planted by Senator Gaylord Nelson. Using activist tactics, he organized huge college grass-root protests over what he saw happening to the environment. With only limited media coverage to get the ball rolling, 20 million demonstrators, and thousands of schools and local communities participated, with each year bringing greater and greater awareness and activity to the issue.

But regardless of when it is celebrated, whenever I hear the name “Earth Day,” what first comes to mind for me is the word “care.” And interestingly, “care” is one of those rare words that implies the notion of both “giving” and “taking.”

Let me explain.

We can “give care” or we can “take care.” (And it’s easy to confuse the two but they are really very different things.) By “taking care” we lose ourselves in private, thoughtful, reflective, and introspective, self-preservation. By “giving care” we offer help, aid or support to those around us—an external activity. Both are equally important, for without taking care, we have no care to offer.

So let’s all “take care” on Earth Day 2008 to “give care” to those we love, to our communities, to our cities, to our states, to our country, to our planet. Sounds like a huge undertaking, no? Well, in reality it can all begin with the simplest of activities that you were probably going to do anyway: Spring Cleaning. (It’s what you do in spring, isn’t it?)

Only this year, I am suggesting that we mix things up a bit—literally and figuratively. Instead of unconsciously reaching for those expensive, toxic products locked away under the kitchen sink, let’s be more mindful of the effects of our actions. I propose that this year, we make a clean sweep by using some safe and wholesome ingredients you probably already have around the house to create healthy, non-toxic cleaning recipes that are equally, if not more effective! It might come as a surprise, but commercial cleaning products—you know, the ones that are made “new and improved” on a yearly basis—are actually only a modern, and highly successful, 20th Century marketing "convenience.” Prior to the technologies of the Industrial Revolution, the means to produce mass-market pre-mixed cleansers didn’t exist. And while I am no Troglodyte, and actually enjoy many of the benefits of modern conveniences and technologies, I do try to use those that are helpful and life affirming, and opt for healthier alternatives to those that I know are harmful and life-threatening.

OK—so back to Spring Cleaning. First, let’s clean the windows and let all that glorious springtime daylight fill your home. Wipe away the winter grime with a simple but highly effective solution of one teaspoon of white vinegar added to a re-cycled spray bottle filled with warm water. Squirt it on and wipe it off with re-cycled newspaper, and you’ll be amazed at how shiny your windows (and mirrors) will be. And your entire bottle of new glass cleaner cost you only about $.02, to boot! (Remember, the price of store-bought cleansers takes into account the costs of advertising, shipping, packaging, supermarket real estate, etc.—while a simple bottle of white vinegar costs under $1.00 and can last over a year.)

Next, by mixing one cup of baking soda, one cup of borax (yes, it’s still made and you’ll find it in the laundry detergent section of your grocery store), and a pinch of table salt, you’ll easily create a gentle, non-toxic bathroom and kitchen cleanser that works great. Sprinkle it on, give it a good scrubbing and rinse it clean with warm water. And here’s my favorite tip: if you use the cut side of a half a lemon as your scrubber, you’ll have the added benefit of that wonderful, natural, fresh citrusy scent.

Remember, whatever you use to clean your windows, mirrors, sinks, bathtubs, showers or toilets—either these homemade recipes or those store-bought chemicals—all gets washed down the drain and into the ground water. The only difference is that these easy, non-toxic recipes don’t pollute and aren’t harmful to the flora and fauna of our lakes, streams and oceans—and you won’t even have to use rubber gloves while cleaning because they’re so gentle. Plus, your family and pets won’t be exposed to air-bound chemicals or toxic residues.

Your house will not only shine and smell fresh, but Mother Earth will thank you because you’ve just taken the first step towards grass roots environmentalism! Everything in the glass cleaner and all-purpose cleanser you just used is chemical free, not to mention costing next to nothing as well! Store-bought cleaning products are a poisonous, chemical nightmare. The list of their side effects to children, adults and pets are mind numbing. And when those pollutants leave your home, they join forces with the pollutants leaving all your neighbors’ homes. Collectively they wreak havoc on our environment, and according to the Environmental Protection Agency, all those expensive, fancy “new and improved” commercial products are the number one pollutant we know of—harmful to animal and plant life.

So I suggest that this year, we all not only celebrate Earth Day by taking care of others, and ourselves but by also offering care. Former Soviet President Gorbachev once suggested that it took only 5% of the leadership of Russia to create Perestroika. Just imagine what a “caring” 5% of the population could offer right here and right now to make an environmental difference locally and globally.

At least for just this one-day, show the world not only that you care,

but how you care.

For Earth Day Festivities I’m having book-signing events with Macy's on April 22nd at the Roosevelt Field Mall on Long Island and again on Saturday April 26th at the Herald Square Macy's on 34th Street in Manhattan.
I hope you'll stop by!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

Please consider the environment.

2008-04-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

Thomas Jefferson’s B-day
Happiness comes when your work and words
are of benefit to yourself and others.
~Buddha

Archaeologist, architect, author, horticulturist, inventor, paleontologist, and statesman – the one-man Renaissance that was Thomas Jefferson was born into a well-healed family in 1743 in Albemarle County, Virginia. He studied at the College of William and Mary, and because of his extensive travels and all of the nifty stuff he stumbled across while exploring, he’s responsible for introducing vanilla ice cream, macaroni and the indoor cook stove to Colonial America, all before becoming the third president of the United States of America.

Though quite the ladies’-man, he was also self-conscious of his lanky, fair-haired, and freckly silhouette. Luckily for us all, Thomas Jefferson was a keen observer of humankind and an articulate writer and journalist—and rather than yammering on-and-on and waxing poetic as did many of his peers in the Continental Congress, Jefferson chose to contribute his flair for the written word over his audible voice to the new American patriotic cause. Muted by his insecurities and humility, in 1776, at the young-ish age of 33, Jefferson penned our Declaration of Independence, a document relating the loftiest ideals of death to tyranny and the birth of Democracy in fledgling a country.

The first draft of the Declaration of Independence addressed “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of property.” Jefferson, in his infinite wisdom, insisted on the change that all these years later still reads:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

I’m guessing that Jefferson didn’t merely mean the happiness we get from “The Partridge Family” reruns, or being the first on our block with a new I-Phone, but rather, the happiness we feel for and with those around us. The pursuit of our dreams to rise above our station in life, and provide a better world for our children than the one we inherited. To be honestly happy when others have something good happen to them (though, even Jefferson would have hated whoever won last week’s Mega Millions lotto!). The kind of true happiness that allows us to move beyond our conventional barriers, to embrace a faith that embraces us back, to be content, to be grateful, to show gratitude for the little stuff and to be joyously willing to share ourselves with the world. Whatever our current situation, our new Democracy would allow us to pursue happiness any-which-way.

Folks find happiness in so many different ways. Sarah Jessica finds hers in her Jimmy Choo pumps. For Oprah it’s her huge (ummm…) viewer-ship and a fresh bar of soap for each hand washing. Tiger finds his center when he’s got a nine-iron in his hands. Ozzy is one with the universe when he’s pulverizing what’s left of his vocal chords. And Brittany, well let’s just say she seems to be doing more pursuing than finding at this stage in her life.

And where do I pursue my happiness? Well that’s a piece of cake—a hunk of it that is. Especially when it’s glopped and crusted onto our stainless steel range. Thanks to founding father, and foodie Thomas Jefferson, he himself prepared the way to my never-ending joy. As proud as he may have been to have invented the first “modern” built-in kitchen stove, generations later I’m my happiest when our stove sparkles. (Believe it…I’m really that shallow.)

Instead of using the expensive commercial stuff to make the stovetop sparkle and shine, I apply a generous sprinkling of unadulterated baking soda directly onto the greasy-grimy-goopy mess of an overspill. With a lightly dampened dishcloth and just a touch of elbow grease, our entire oven is as clean and shiny as the day it was delivered. (Remember: Never, never, never use those green, wire or steel wool pads on your precious metal surfaces. Treat them like gold and they’ll shine forever.)

Had Jefferson done the same, his stove might still be in the same condition as when he invented it. But then again - he was kinda’ busy pursuing so many other things that gave him happiness.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

2008-04-07T07:17:00.000-07:00

No Housework Day
“After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.“
~Quentin Crisp

I have bunches of hobbies, obsessions, and pastimes and I’m guessing that you do, too. But to my detriment, I never remember how to relax.

I’m always working on a little of this-and-that, and I just love-love-love a project. (It’s how I procrastinate.) I’ve been an artist my entire life and always have a painting-in-progress that I pick at now-and-again. I have a knitting project that, at this point, is so out-of-control it’s probably best not to even discuss that bundle of insanity. I’ve also been faux-finishing our dining room for the past five years, and am finally starting to see the light at the end of that particular tunnel. (You try painting an entire room with only an artist’s brush!)

But beyond the madness I manage to invent for myself, I also always manage to clean just a little every morning. After making a pot of coffee and tossing back at least half of it, I hit the ground running well-caffeinated. On an average day, for instance, like many of you, I’ll chase the vacuum cleaner around, run a load of laundry, and sweep the backyard—oh, and on a good day, I’ll write some of my weekly blog and work on the manuscript for my next book, too, all before noon.

And then there’s my list of other projects waiting in the wings—and I mean an actual list. By the side of my computer I have a running “to-do” list. That list includes things like patching the roof; finish painting some of the trim-work around the house, and somehow retiling the bathroom. Much to the chagrin of my partner and friends, I just can’t sit still.

S-C-R-E-E-C-H !!!

What was that!!?? No, not a car crash—that was the sound of me slowing down, me stopping to smell the something-or-other, me sitting still to take a breather. And ya’ know why? Heh?

It’s “No Housework Day.”

I’m not certain what smart-alek came up with “No Housework Day,” but for sure it was some wise-en-heimer with a laundry list of stuff to do like mine who made up the perfect-excuse-of-a-holiday as a way to put it all on a back burner. “No Housework Day” is a day all about just saying, “No.” (Nancy Regan would be so proud!)

Just say “No” to garbage. No to laundry. No to washing windows. No to cleaning grout. No to vacuuming. No to turning the compost. No to bundling the recycling. No to everything.

I’ve made a vow to honor this faux-holiday, as painful as it may be—and hope that you will, too. But in a day filled with the word “no,” how about filling some of it with the word “know.” What about something like: “Know how to have fun” or “Know who’s important” or “Know what’s important” or “Know what’s what.”

And know guilt—oops, I mean, and no guilt.

So instead of sweeping a room with a broom, sweep a room with a glance. Instead of hunting for dust-bunnies, let the suckers multiply. Rather than washing a load of laundry, take a load off. Today’s tip isn’t for cleaning it’s for cleansing. Try this one on for luxurious:

First, cut two lemons into super-skinny-slices and put them in a large bowl. Dribble half-a-dozen drops of olive oil onto the citrus slivers, and finish by adding three cups of sea salt and giving it all a toss. Now it’s hands off while the concoction cures for at least five minutes. Then pour your “citrus derma-dip” into your tub filled with hot, steamy water. Lock the bathroom door, put on some soothing music, light some candles, submerge yourself into your citrus soup, feel the warmth loosening you up, and settle in for a comfy, lazy, r-e-a-l-l-y l-o-n-g soak. (If they knock and complain…tell ‘em to cross their legs, ‘cause you’re busy doing nothing!) You’ll reappear recharged and revived.

Be good to yourself and know how and when to say “No.”

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

Please consider the environment.

2008-03-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Bucks
“A fool and his money are lucky enough
to get together in the first place.”
~ Stanley Weiser

Stop what you’re doing for a moment and examine the contents of your pockets or purse. Dig deep and you might find your house or car keys, a pack of stale gum or lint covered breath mints, a scrunched up taxi receipt, Jimmy Hoffa (threw that in just to see if you’re actually reading this!), a credit card or two, some loose change if you’re lucky, and maybe even a mangled buck, fiver or even a Jackson. Now, if you discover “Bacon,” “Bread,” “Clams,” “Dough,” or “Lettuce” - either you just shoplifted the local supermarket or you’ve just visited your nearest ATM.

Money, no matter what you call it, has been around as long as people have had the necessity to buy and sell rather than barter for what they need or want. Printed currency and coins evolved from prehistoric forms of cash and a need to create a more convenient means of payment. (Imagine if you will the following: “Ummm…I’d like a decaf-mochachino-low-foam-extra-soymilk-latte-grande, please. Are you still accepting cows and magic beans, or may I pay you with some shells and a handful of whale’s teeth?”) The awkwardness of handing over a pig to pay your rent, offering a live chicken in lieu of money for your phone bill, or swapping a kitten to settle your bar tab might be colorful (albeit unsanitary and against PETA principles!), but the simplicity of handing over even a grungy wad of hard cash makes the entire exchange much less messy and, for certain, alleviates the hassle, emotional distress and trauma to our wildlife, four-legged friends and barnyard animals.

But while more sanitary than “financial fowl,” if you haven’t noticed…money’s just plain old dirty. It’s been handed from one unknown individual to another unknown individual, time-after-time, after which it makes its way to you and then gets conveniently stashed away in your wallet, pocket, change-purse, or mattress. And even assuming that you, personally, are fastidiously neat and hygienic, those bills and all that coinage have been sweated on, smudged and stained from greasy fingers, fallen on the ground, handled by just-sneezed-on hands, or collected dust and cat dander while lost in your favorite chair or couch. Yick!

And what about that nest egg of yours? Nowadays, rather than your money multiplying (no matter how dirty), pretty much all that is happening is that the mints are making the ink on our greenbacks more colorful, and the metal surfaces on our coinage more sparkly. Your money’s not worth as much as it was a year ago, but it sure is clean and crisp straight out of the ATM.

So I ask you, with the economy in a such a slump, the housing crisis at its peak, and interest rates at an all-time low, why pay others to clean your moola’? (Hmmm…Neat and tidy “Georges,” “Bens,” and “Abes” vs. the potential of literally “rolling in it?”) Why continually let the big-boys have all of the fun?

My Tip-of-the-Week? Withdraw your savings, load up your washtub with tepid water, add a cupful of baking soda and ¼ cup white vinegar, and launder your money yourself. By doing it by hand you won’t only be saving an arm and a leg, but you’ll gain peace-of-mind from knowing that your financial reserves are naturally fresh and clean.

And in the event you’ve been saving for a rainy day, not to worry. The occasional April shower may bring mayflowers, but it too works wonders for “re-crisping your lettuce!” To be even more environmental, rather than hand washing your cash as suggested above, consider merely hanging your greenbacks out back while it’s drizzling. They too, will benefit from a downpour. (I’m not sure why, but our neighbors seem to get so excited when we put up our clothesline!) A day of fresh air and sunshine will revive your own stagnating economy.

Remember—broke, nouveau riche or tight-fisted, dirty dollars are a no-no. Use your newly laundered currency with fiscal pride. And again, be thankful that we no longer trade critters for payment, much to the relief of doomful does, harsh hamsters, humorless hedgehogs, somber squirrels and “stearn bears” everywhere.

GOTCHA.
(April Fools!)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

Please consider the environment.

2008-03-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

Easter
“You can have either the Resurrection or you can have Liberace.
But you can’t have both.”
~Liberace (Negotiating billing with the Easter Show at Radio City Music Hall)

Almost as synonymous with Easter as the resurrection of Jesus, are Peeps. You know them…the soft bird-like, lemon-colored marshmallows that fill the shelves of grocery and specialty stores this time of year. My family has oddball ideas of not only when to eat them but just how to eat them, too. For instance, my sister in-law, Georgean, purchases them weeks before the “big day” and immediately removes the plastic wrapping to sacrifice the fleshy squishy rows of chickadees to the drying fresh air. By simply abandoning them on top of her refrigerator, by Easter Sunday, her Peeps have cultivated a perfect fatal “crunch” when bitten into. Others in my family prefer to nuke the little birdies in the microwave for a few seconds—watching in awe as they miraculously grow to five times their size, before collapsing into a hot, mushy, marshmallow puddle—mmm!

Easter is a spring day filled with miraculous and metaphorical delights. Traditions abound with a visitation by the mythical basket-carrying-door-to-door-hopping-bunny, decorating eggs, nibbling on the aforementioned spongy sugar-coated birds (now sold in a rainbow of artificial colors), marching in parades and donning bonnets, munching on mountains of psychedelic jelly beans and foil wrapped chocolates, mailboxes filled with both religious and sac-religious cards and armies of irritated babies outfitted in lacy finery and saggy tights.

And dead center in the eye of the “Easter Tornado” (right next to the risen sacrificial lamb), are bleary-eyed children ogling their heaps of Easter morning goodies—“jonesing” for their first sugar fix since Halloween.

The season of spring, much like Easter, returns year after year, bringing with it the eternal hope of rebirth and renewal. It breaks the winter’s dreaded seclusion with joyous displays of softly colored daffodils, the shininess of lavender and white crocuses, and the delicacy of leafless trees filled with buds and blossoms. Spring’s mystery includes the softening of the ground, and the awakening of the earth from a season of slumber, while it also marks the return of birds and animals from their migrations and hibernation, filling the warming air with sound and movement. And, much like the resurrected Christ-figure, what was once cold and lifeless, now, too, appears fresh and once more full of life.

As spring miraculously sends up the first tender shoots of new grass, it does so just in time for Easter’s main event - across the country, on lawns everywhere, our littlest citizens romp, roll, crawl, run, and jump decked out in their Easter-best, searching for those tacky colored eggs. And while many get more than their share of those magical orbs and have zoned out on sugary snacks, all of them - big and small - get more than they or their parents bargained for—brand new outfits covered with nasty grass stains.

So at this holiest as well as happiest time of year, whether hunting for eggs or miraculously being resurrected - youngster or Savior - knees always take the brunt of our outside activities, anointing even the most innocent with an unmistakable “chlorophyll stigmata.” So rather than cursing them simply remove unfortunate grass stains from just about any garment. Begin by mixing one-third cup white vinegar and two-thirds cup water, applying the solution to the stain and blotting with a clean cloth. Repeat the process as needed and then wash as usual. (This is one miracle that works year-round, too!)

No matter if dressed in Godly-basics or Gap-baby,

a grass stain is just a grass stain—and never, ever a sin.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

Please consider the environment.

2008-03-17T06:30:00.000-07:00

World Day for Water
“Water, water, everywhere

Nor any drop to drink.”
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Water is our single most treasured natural resource, encompassing more than two thirds of our earth’s surface. It’s vital for all of nature’s flora and fauna—amphibians, birds, fish, invertebrates (snakes and other wiggly critters), insects, reptiles, mammals, plants, trees, and flowers. Water is critical to sustaining life everywhere, and for everything nature provides. We humans enjoy it too, by swimming, sailing, snorkeling, scuba diving, singin’ in the rain, running through a lawn sprinkler or playfully splashing in what we just assume is the cleanest and clearest water we can find. And we love the convenience of turning on the tap and drinking or bathing in it or simply just brushing our teeth.

As human beings, H20 is essential to our life and well-being. Our muscles are 75% water and our blood contains 83% water. If we’re healthy and hydrated, we keep ourselves at peak performance physically and mentally. An ancient Chinese proverb tells us, “When drinking water, think of its source.” And although we know its importance as the finest beverage available, we also selfishly squander it away by unconsciously polluting it in all its forms: rivers, streams, creeks, groundwater, reservoirs, lakes, and oceans. Our collective carelessness threatens our species and animals too by altering water’s drink-ability. As I write, more than 1 billion human beings are hopelessly resorting to drinking and cooking with unsafe water. The end result is that across the planet, just from water-borne diseases or dehydration, nearly 3,900 children die every day. (Imagine what that frightening number means - it’s greater than the populations of many small towns across America!)

In our own country and across the developed world, in our quest for “whiter whites” and in our nutty and newly promoted obsession with the eradication of household bacteria, countless household items we use day after day, contain pollutants that actually endanger our well-being, the public’s health and the environment. Think about it—in home after home, when we clean, we are actually adding toxic chemicals to remove the dirt, and then finish the process by sending it all down the drain and back into the water supply.

There are countless household cleaners and detergents, that, out of necessity, we use day after day. Without even thinking about it, we use commercial products that contain toxins that endanger public health and the environment. By using stuff that’s so much safer, we will collectively create tiny ripples that will become powerful tides of change for the good of the planet, just by using natural alternatives in our home. Try using baking soda, borax, salt, lemon and white vinegar, alone, or experiment with them together in remarkably safe yet effective combinations. Then, just from cleaning, you’ll also become a hands-on global citizen.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

Please consider the environment.

2008-03-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

World Book Day

The books we think we ought to read are poky, dull, and dry;

The books that we would like to read we are ashamed to buy;

The books that people talk about we never can recall;

And the books that people give us, oh, they’re the worst of all.
- Carolyn Wells

With hopes to encourage everyone - children and adults alike - to discover or rediscover reading, as well as gain esteem for authors, UNESCO’s General Conference created World Book Day to pay a wide-reaching global salute to books.

Years ago, as a teenager, my partner, Richard, asked his best friend, Steven if he wanted a book for his birthday, to which, without skipping a beat, Steven replied, “No thanks, I already have one.” This has remained a continuing joke that still makes us laugh whenever we repeat it. And in my case, Richard sometimes applies it literally. But I read – really, I do! However, I’m not much of a book reader—I’m more of a magazine, newspaper and Internet reader. (We know who we are.)

And while I may not crack a spine all that often, I do love books, not just for the writing found within, but equally for the physicality of the object when held in my hands. Richard and I have such an appreciation for books that we have two rooms in our house completely devoted to shelves stacked tall and wide with hardcover, linen-bound novels, volumes containing the history of design, reference books about furniture, pottery and lots of our other favorite antiques and collectibles, piles of stuff on gardening, vintage and antique children’s books, a few trashy but beloved dog-eared paperback fluff-stuff, and some beautiful treasured books about 20th Century artists (like Andy Warhol, Richard Serra, Claus Oldenburg, Roy Lichtenstein, and Joseph Cornell) that Richard designed in one of his former careers from a million years ago.

And, in those very rare instances that I’ve actually read a book—cover-to-cover, that is—I remember it forever. Some of my most loved include “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” “Love in the Time of Cholera,” “Grapes of Wrath,” and my all-time favorite, “In Cold Blood.” It’s not just the story telling but also the voice of the teller that I fall in love with. So when “it” happens – when I am so believably transported to a place and time and can hear the storyteller’s voice as if he or she is speaking just to me, and I become engrossed while I’m reading – then I’m hooked.

I’m convinced there are two kinds of people in the world…those that keep and hoard books for a lifetime (my partner) and those that set them free after the final page has been turned (me). Between us, we find, buy or receive books from a million different sources. Some of our books are brand new, ordered on-line and come freshly delivered by a hunky guy in a brown uniform. Our dear friend, Tommy, an avid reader, brings over piles of books about once a month when he’s done scouring their pages. And every year, for Richard’s birthday, our cousins Leslie and Michael find him the perfect big coffee table book – this year’s treasure is a comprehensive tome on his favorite artist, Joseph Cornell.

But for the most part, we’ve found some of our most prized treasures for just pennies at neighborhood stoop sales, country garage tag sales, thrift shops, or, almost always at the church book sale every Sunday just around the corner from where we live.

These used editions are usually time worn and dogged eared, torn and mended with tape. We don’t much care about the outside (talk about not judging a book by its cover) but we do care if they are musty or not.

So in the event that we’ve found a volume we’ve been meaning to read or something either of us just has to have, the one thing neither of our super allergic noses can’t handle is a book so rank that we can’t turn it’s pages without sneezing. But rather than pass that treasure by, after bringing it home, we simply place mildewed, musty or attic-stinky books into a dark plastic bag with an open box of baking soda. With no particular timeline in mind, we allow the baking soda to perform its magic by absorbing the offending odors for at least a few weeks or until the annoying smell has completely disappeared.

World Book Day was made to encourage the pleasures of reading and the delight of the written word. So give them, circulate them, (freshen them first if you find them stinky!) and allow others—especially children—to enjoy and share their riches.

Since the publication of my first book, “Clean: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” our newest chuckle is “Michael doesn’t read books…he just writes them!”

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

Please consider the environment.

2008-03-05T08:04:00.000-08:00

Wood Flooring
Awop-bop-a-loo-mop alop-bam-boom!
- Little Richard

The honey colored glow of our ancient pumpkin pine floors is one of the features of our 180-year-old home that my partner, Richard, and I love the most. Occasionally we imagine the original owners walking through our hallways and rooms dressed in period clothing. A long ago generation of women in long skirts, bustles, and shawls, and men in high boots, suits with vests complete with fobs and pocket watches.

When built in the 1830s, the house lacked any modern conveniences (central heat, running water, indoor plumbing) so for the house’s first 75 years, the residents had to lug coal bins up three flights of rounded stairways to heat its many small rooms, and carry filled “thunder mugs” (chamber pots) down those same winding stairs to empty them into the backyard privy.

Yet despite all those early years of freezing cold winters heated only with coal stoves and sweltering summers fought with open windows and cross breezes, over a century of coal dust, dirt and grime, and nearly two centuries of wear and tear, the original wooden floor boards in our sweet abode, though worn in spots from nearly 180 years of stair climbing, still hold up, shine brightly, and have yet to show any need of replacement.

Not that the original 19th Century builders even considered such matters, wood flooring in the 21st Century, is a prized sustainable resource. If harvested to preserve the long-term health and integrity of forested ecosystems, wood is biodegradable, earth-friendly, energy-efficient to grow and cultivate, non-toxic, recyclable, and renewable. Moreover, each year, new products such as bamboo and engineered wood flooring are brought to market.

No other flooring is as easy to live with or comes close to offering the visual warmth, unmistakable beauty, and resale value of real wood. It makes rooms pretty and goes with just about any décor imaginable – mid 20th century “oom-shwaka-waka,” the frills of shabby-chic, cluttery Victoriana, or even a little of this-and-that from thrift shops and curbside finds (my favorites). Wood is the perfect backdrop for just about anything we choose to live with, and taking care of it is really a breeze with regular sweeping and/or vacuuming.

Since no two surfaces are alike, no two surfaces should be cleaned alike. Contrary to popular belief, wood floors hate water, wet mopping or any kind of excessive cleaning. My suggestion is to clean your wood floors with a solution of one-quarter cup of white vinegar (about 2 liquid ounces) mixed in a recycled spray bottle with about 30 ounces of warm water (most commercial spray bottles hold about 32 ounces). Spray a cotton rag or towel with the vinegar and water solution and use it to lightly damp mop your floors. Once soiled, replace each rag with a fresh one. This gentle method will clean your wood floors without destroying them, and ensure years of pleasure from them.

Please don’t ever, ever, ever use anything oil-based on treated wood floors (or treated wood anything for that matter!) Commercially manufactured finished flooring and those treated with polyurethane hate oil. Ya’ know why? I’ll tell you: The surface on the wood is most probably treated with a protective oil-based product making it sturdy, durable and shiny. There’s nothing more destructive to that surface, however, than oil or oil-based cleaners because oil actually dissolves oil! Using an oil-based cleanser on your oil-treated floors will only remove that beautiful finish over time, making the wood look cloudy, dull and dirty. No matter what the label on the commercial wood floor cleaner says, if it contains oil, it will eventually ruin your beautiful floors.

The same way salad dressing separates, oil and vinegar don’t mix, so cleaning with the simple vinegar solution is the best way to keep your wood floors in great shape. Whether they are cherry, maple, oak, pine, mahogany, walnut or bamboo - brand new or ancient as the hills like ours - keep your floorboards in the best condition possible by cleaning gently and treading lightly.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on www.thedailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. www.latitudeu.com

Please consider the environment.

2008-02-26T10:55:00.000-08:00

Leap Day
“Leap and the net will appear.”
– Zen Saying

Nested in a desolate valley, smooshed between two un-nameable foothills and peppered with ramshackle houses somewhere in Appalachia, lay a town called Dogpatch. Peppered with a cast of characters (each as dumb as topsoil) that included voluptuous hotties, illiterate old men, weatherworn womenfolk, dim-witted muscle boys, burglars and rascals, corrupt politicians and the occasional domesticated pig.

This entirely unforgettable, and totally magical, make-believe place was home to “Li’l Abner,” the forever-hunky-dashing-dufus, in the long-running syndicated newspaper comic strip by the late cartoonist, Al Capp.

With Abner as her only child, the righteous yet fierce and protective “Mammy” Yokum - the tiny, corn-pipe smoking matriarch of the Yokum family - was also the self-declared Mayor of Dogpatch. Her husband, the pint-sized turnip farmer named Lucifer "Pappy" Yokum - lazy and lethargic, slothful and sluggish - was ‘without even the gumption to scrub his own backside’ and was frequently seen being publicly lathered and bathed by his rough and tumble common-law bride.

Starry-eyed, blond, buxom, and beautiful - Daisy Mae Scragg was desperately smitten with Li'l Abner throughout the entire run of the comic strip, during which the dense-n-dumb Abner showed little or no interest in her endlessly beguiling ways.

As frustrated as Daisy Mae was over Abner’s indifference, another Dogpatch resident, Miss Sadie Hawkins (hands-down the ‘ugliest gal in town’) got even sicker of waiting for the ‘fellas-ta-come-a-courtin.’ But instead of moping and moaning, ingenious Miss Sadie had another idea: the creation of a holiday named in her honor with a declaration that on every Sadie Hawkins Day, there would be a race wherein all unmarried women would chase, jump and tackle Dogpatch bachelors, laying claim to the ones they could trap. For just that one-day, every Leap Day, the lucky Old Maids of Dogpatch were found on one knee, popping the question to their prey, after which followed a slew of shotgun nuptials.

Al Capp debuted Sadie Hawkins Day in a “Li'l Abner” strip on November 15, 1937. However, in my thirst for trivia, I discovered that another version of Sadie Hawkins Day actually had its origins with St. Patrick and St. Bridget in Ireland in the Fifth Century. The story goes that St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick that the ladies of the nunnery were in a twist…they, much like the ladies of Dogpatch, were also in jeopardy of becoming wallflowers while waiting for available men. With minimal arm-twisting, St. Patrick consented to the gender swicho-chango, thus allowing the women of that day to propose to any man of their choosing on every Leap Day. (I’ve yet to discover when that tradition was abandoned.)

Leap Day occurs every four years except years ending with "00" and those that are not divisible by 400. (Hey…I’m a clean-freak not a mathematician. If they say it works that way, it must work!) Spinning around the sun once every 365¼ days, the earth needs the extra day every four years to leap forward in order to keep our calendars on track.

Oh, and as for Dogpatch, in the end, thanks to St. Bridget, St. Patrick, Miss Sadie Hawkins and the invention of Leap Day, Miss Daisy Mae finally won her true but useless love, Li’l Abner. So what can we take from this history lesson? Much like Abner’s “Mammy” snagging his “Pappy,” and Daisy Mae snagging him – in affairs of the heart, no matter how frightening, sometimes it’s best just to dive in headfirst. Because, as we all know – “dreamboats” are in the eye of the beholder, and are usually more like diamonds beneath mountains of dirt.

(And ya’ know how I feel about dirt!)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (http://www.zencleansing.com/) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three (now four) goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly Blog on http://www.thedailygreen.com/ “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at http://www.barnesandnoble.com/ or http://www.amazon.com/ Take the “zen-cleansing” quiz at Latitude U. http://www.latitudeu.com/

Please consider the environment.