Make a Difference Day
“If you can't feed a hundred people, then just feed one.”
~ Mother Teresa

Either single-handedly, all by your lonesome, with the help of some friends, or volunteering with an organization, cooking up a large or small personal project, family effort, or community-wide endeavor is a wonderful way to score brownie points. Anyone – small fry or senior, individuals or groups, can whip-up volunteer projects that help others. Allow your ideas to percolate, and you’ll soon discover what your community needs. “Make a Difference Day” is really all about neighbors serving neighbors.

No matter whether you’re a scrambled student, a butter-fingered bartender, or even a half-baked housepainter, there are always a few extra hours to consider volunteering an afternoon of your skills: painting a neighbor’s porch or finger-painting with the kid next door; removing a scrap heap of trash from the side of a highway or scrap-booking memories at the Senior Center; granny-sitting or babysitting, swinging your kids at the local park or swinging a hammer to help with some carpentry, twisting a screwdriver to assist with electrical work or twisting taffy with some school kids; you get the idea…you could coach a sporting event, offer computer assistance, replant a flower or vegetable bed, do some office work, visit with someone whose lonely, collect food for the homeless or even work in a soup kitchen.

With all of this not-so subtle discussion of food, food, and more food…on “Make a Difference Day” how about cleaning a neighbor's kitchen appliances? (You knew I was going there - now didn’t ya’!) It doesn’t need to take a month of Sundays to quickly and safely clean a kitchen. Here are a few quick pointers and eco-recipes to make your visit speedy and easy as pie.

Coffee maker:
To clean an automatic drip coffee maker run full-strength white vinegar through a normal brew cycle. Rinse by running plain water through the cycle twice. The pot will be remarkably clean and your coffee will taste better than ever. (Tip: coffee sometimes tastes bitter because of soapy residue…so never wash your pot with soap.)

Dishwasher:
To clean a dishwasher (I know, it sounds like an oxymoron—but the darn things do get yucky over time!), place a cup of white vinegar into the bottom of the appliance and operate through an entire cycle. Do this once a month to reduce soap build up on the inner rollers, racks gaskets and sprayers.

Garbage disposal:
Pour 1/2 cup of salt into the garbage disposal. Then, by running the disposal following manufacturer's directions, you'll send any odors down the drain! And for an extra treat, cut up a lemon and let the disposal do its job.

Microwave:
Boil 1/4 cup of white vinegar and 1 cup of water in a glass or plastic container in your microwave for two minutes. The condensation from the boiling mixture will loosen splattered-on-food and those mysterious cheesy lumps, and will even deodorize the machine in the process. Wipe the inside clean with a damp cloth or sponge.

Oven:
To prevent greasy oven buildup in the first place, dip a sponge in full-strength white vinegar and wipe down all sides of a clean oven, inside and out.

Refrigerator:
Wash out a refrigerator with a solution of equal parts water and white vinegar. It will make everything sparkle.

On “Make a Difference Day” do something – anything – to help out a friend or a neighbor in need. If cleaning someone else’s kitchen isn’t your cup of tea and you don't have a first class project to steak your reputation on - sleep on it, the perfect idea is bound to turnip.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

International Skeptics Day
“I'm looking for loopholes.”
~W. C. Fields, when asked why he was reading the Bible.

Ptolemy believed the sun revolved around the earth. Linus believed in the “Great Pumpkin.”

(Sally to Linus, after missing Halloween… “What a fool I was. I could've had candy, apples, and gum, and cookies and money and all sorts of things. But no! I had to listen to you! What a fool I was. Trick or Treats come only once a year, and I missed it by sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead!”)

When I was a kid I believed in the “Push-Me-Pull-You” – the two-headed llama from the Dr. Doolittle stories. (I was such a sucker!) In my ‘tweens - upset and completely horrified - I stood in front of a caged, one-headed, completely healthy and whole llama and said “How could this have happened…where’s its other head!” I did ultimately find some comfort for my naiveté when I learned that Cher thought Mount Rushmore was a natural phenomenon!

Our culture is filled with mountains of myths and mythinformation (couldn’t resist that!) - Santa, UFOs, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Bigfoot, Crop Circles, the Loch Ness monster - in the famous words of Benjamin Franklin, “It is so; it is not so. It is so; it is not so.” I’m not always certain, either…perhaps you could call me a Doubting Thomas.

In case you don’t know, to be called a Doubting Thomas means that you’re someone who - without straightforward, tangible, right in your face proof - refuses to believe in any number of things. (e.g. See the list above.) The expression is based on the doubt of the Apostle Thomas concerning the resurrection of Jesus. Although Jesus had been crucified, Thomas only became a true believer when he was able to place his fingers into the resurrected Jesus’ wounds. (After that llama incident, I think I’d require a demonstration like that, too!)

Skeptics are everywhere. And if you’re not certain as to who they are, take a mindful look around - they’re easily identifiable as the folks that doubt truth and accepted-theory. They just won’t see or accept what’s “a given,” what’s believed by the majority of the people based on scientific scrutiny. When I’m asking questions, I’m curious, and when I’m questioning, I’m skeptical. But when I refuse to separate fact from fiction, that makes me just plain-old blind to reality.

Take for example Governor and Vice Presidential (shoot me now!) candidate Sarah Palin. Perhaps the Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny and maybe even Doubting Thomas himself told her that climate change and global warming aren’t caused by human behavior and that a changing environment could never have been man-made. We can all fail to recognize the reality of global warming much like Palin thinks that drilling in the Alaskan Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is swell for birds, fish and wildlife. But until we all place our own hands into the proverbial wounds of the world, we’ll all continue to doubt our own personal responsibilities.

And much like the Gov’s responsibility to own up to the truth, we, too, can make mico-steps towards change. While carefully and safely cleaning our bodies or our homes, (gun-toting-moose-hating-soccer-mom, lipstick-wearing-or-not, notwithstanding) by being thoughtful of our actions and intentions while we do even the smallest of tasks, we meet ourselves in a simple, mindful act of purifying our personal environment, and by extension, our ever-changing world environment. I believe that every individual can have a positive effect on the enormous problem of Global Warming, and I believe that it can happen one household at a time. (Forgetting about the Push-Me-Pull-You kerfuffle, of this I’m certain.)

Bullwinkle-the-Moose once said, “Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what can you believe?” (Even the moose was a skeptic!)

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

Coming-Out Day
“Come out, come out wherever you are…”
(From “The Wizard of Oz”)
~ Harold Arlen & E.Y. Harburg

I have “special” needs - some might call them obsessions - but I prefer to call them standards. I like a clean home and orderly storage. But more than that, I want my junk where I can find it and I want it all to look like something—a place for everything and everything in its place! In an average afternoon - as part of a cleaning ritual - I’ll iron sheets for the bedrooms, wipe down the kitchen, rearrange our living room, organize the bathrooms, tidy our basement and yes… even organize our closets.

By today’s standards - depending on your lifestyle, needs, and desired outcome - uniquely crafted closets offer a meaningful use of space in any home or apartment. Considering all of the options, the perfect closet can be a swell place to hoard your handbags, stash sport-coats, stockpile shoes and allow lingerie to linger. It’s also a place to relegate last season’s dresses, abandon busted umbrellas, forget those fake-fun-furs, put presents meant for re-gifting, and bury baggage otherwise used to travel to far away, sandy and sunny ports.

Although we think of closets as places to squirrel away stuff and hang our clothes, historically for the very rich, they were actually small secret, private, concealed rooms usually attached to a bedroom.

But nowadays, to be kept hidden or “closeted” is most often used as a way of describing something or someone whose behavior might be embarrassing, controversial…or even gay.

National Coming Out Day was founded 1988 by Dr. Robert Eichberg and Jean O'Leary, in celebration of the second Gay March on Washington, D.C. the previous year. The purposes of both were to promote awareness of gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender rights and to rejoice in it all. For 20 years, it’s been a day to publicly celebrate being who you are, and is often used as an opportunity to tell others as well.

Coming out, while different for every individual, is a critical part of accepting that you’re gay, bisexual, lesbian or transgender. (Imagine if heterosexual folks had to have a tear- and angst-filled moment when they made the brave decision to declare their sexual orientation or gender identity and risk being rejected, fired, beaten, thrown out of their home, etc.?) For some lgbt people, the experience is joyful; for some it’s uncomfortable; for some it instills anger in those they come out to; for some it’s a tragic time of rejection and depression. But for many, once proclaimed, it’s a time of freedom, relief, and often a moment of “Gee, we were waiting for you to tell us!” when coming out to supportive family, co-workers and friends.

When I came out to my dear friend, Robert, we celebrated over steaks and Martini’s at a tony steak house in Manhatttan. When I came out to even more friends when visiting from my hometown of Chicago - in celebration at my East Village apartment - we all ate cake, drank Champaign and jumped on the beds. When I came out to my sister Mags, she said "Honey, you’ve done a lousy job of hiding it. I've known that for years!”

But when I was only fourteen my mom came out for me. While folding cloths together she said that she thought I might just be kinda’ different from her other two kids (Maybe it was my ability to crochet that tipped her off?) and that if I had special questions she said she’d always be there to answer them for me.

Now that I am no longer in the closet, there’s plenty of room for other things in there! I’m always putting away belongings and endlessly tidying up by stuffing clothes, brooms, bed and bath linens, winter coats, hats and who-knows-what into closets. Unfortunately, depending on the humidity, they can sometimes smell musty. That’s when I get out the baking soda to freshen them up. I just tear off the top of a fresh box, put it on the floor or a shelf in the closet, and let it do its thing. After a month or so, I replace the old baking soda with a fresh box and use the old stuff for some other cleaning projects to dispose of it—it never goes to waste!

Here at home (and hopefully yours, too) our closets are meant for our baggage and belongings and not the people we love. If you’re either “in”, “out” or somewhere inbetween, it’s important to live life gloriously, in full view, sharing your joys and life-experiences openly…even if you’re not gay but just a closeted cleaning freak.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

The Jewish New Year
“We will open the book. Its pages are blank…
The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”
~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

On Rosh Hashanah – the time of year when God decides whose names get added to the “Book of Life” (hopefully yours!) - Jews across the world get a clarion call when the shofar (ram’s horn) is blown, to awaken them from their self-righteousness, and to begin the process of atoning for the sins of the past year. During the afternoon of the first day of Rosh Hashanah, the practice of tashlikh is observed, in which prayers are recited near natural flowing water. It’s the moment when one’s sins are cast upon the water, and literally, pieces of bread or small stones are tossed into the river or stream so that symbolically you can watch your bad deeds start to float away.

Because it is also a time of gathering and eating with family (my partner Richard is Jewish, and boy do we eat and eat and eat at these holiday dinners), to be sure, there’ll be plenty of dusting, vacuuming, washing, polishing, scrubbing and waxing alongside a tremendous amount of cooking, baking, roasting, and preparing gallons and gallons of chicken soup.

But more than being a time of feasting, Rosh Hashanah begins a 10-day period of repenting—ending in Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar, and the actual start of the New Year. Biblical scholars believe that when the Prophet John, The Baptist, in the Book of Matthew (3:2) said "...Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand," he was referring to the Jewish New Year and they think that he was speaking on the eve of Yom Kippur. He was announcing the final call for repentance before the Day of the Covering of Sin (Yom Kippur).

The Hebrew term for this period of repentance is Teshuvah which means returning to the predestined path set for us when we were born. The Jewish view is to use mistakes to grow and move forward, because - as we all know - mistakes happen and fixing them so that they aren’t repeated can be a test…literally and figuratively.

So in preparing for the Jewish New Year celebration, the act of cleaning internal and external impurities becomes the real challenge and the real goal. (Gee, I can make a cleaning metaphor out of anything, huh!!??)

Imagine, for instance, a bathtub that’s not been scrubbed over the course of an entire year. If such a tub existed, there’d be blackened, oily footprints everywhere, shampoo gunked up here and there, splats of toothpaste along the rim, dribbles of conditioner under that caddy thingy, soap scum galore, a gigantic clump of hair stuck in the strainer and a three inch ring of moldy residue all the way around the tub. (That butcher, baker and candlestick maker must have been complete slobs!) But in all seriousness, it’s hard to make yourself clean (or restful, or contemplative, or peaceful) in any dirty place let alone in a grubby tub.

Metaphorically, each of us is a bathtub wanting to be clean, and Rosh Hashanah becomes the perfect chance to start fresh. It’s an opportunity to buff away blunders, rub polish onto our faux pas, and scrub satisfaction back into our souls—and if need be, “wash that man right outta our hair!”

It can start with recognizing our unfortunate shortcomings, putting a stop to unfortunate actions, regretting our unfortunate behaviors, feeling truly sorry for being so unfortunately nasty, owning and explaining our personal idiocy, asking for and hopefully finding forgiveness, and then never, never, never repeating our unfortunate mistakes (the hardest rub of all!!). And along the way we might ask ourselves “Am I hurting others, am I blind to what’s important, am I being insensitive and – most importantly – am I getting in my own way?” It’s kind of a “scrub-a-dub-dub” that’s good for our bathtub, our brain and our soul.

But if your bathtub is as dirty as the one I just described (Someone hold my hand - I think I’m gonna’ pass out.) or you just need to make it shine like new on a weekly basis - toss in a pinch of salt for good luck (and then another larger pinch for its amazing ability to scrub so well) and a generous sprinkling of baking soda over the entire surface. Then scrub like the dickens with a dampened soft cloth. My favorite part is to then finish up by jumping barefoot into the tub and splishing-n-splashing clear water everywhere. (Bet ya’ wouldn’t dare do that with that bleach-infused commercial stuff, now would ya?) And if you’re the type who takes “the casting of one’s sins upon the water” literally, the jumping in part is - of course – a metaphoric bonus, too. Once rinsed, you’ll find the whiter-than-white porcelain tub that once lay hidden and lost behind all that grime.

Rosh Hashanah and the Celebration of the Jewish New Year (or even cleaning your bathtub for that matter) isn’t only about becoming squeaky-clean or about being a better person - it’s really just about being aware, about being mindful, and about being just plain-old kind.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

Christopher Reeves’ Birthday
"Be your own hero, it's cheaper than a movie ticket."
~Doug Horton

Years ago, as a mild mannered artist, I cleaned apartments for professors, photo-editors, designers, television and Broadway producers, a photo instructor, a chiropractor and even a guy who made wigs for Saturday Night Live. And with keys in hand, I traveled my own Metropolis via the New York City subway system as a cleansing crusader (minus the spandex of course.)

Most of my clients wanted the “usual” stuff – a scrubbed bathroom, a shiny fresh kitchen, for me to swing a duster here and there, to chase the vacuum around and then to finish it all off with a quick mopping. But for extra cash I also performed super-human feats by running errands, organizing closets, collecting dry cleaning, ironing linens, polishing silver, changing sheets, picking up groceries, washing windows, making floral arrangements, baby-sitting, rearranging entire rooms, and even choosing furniture, bedding and draperies.

But my regular Tuesday client was a dusk-to-dawn affair who wanted it “all” and then some…including laundry done in the building’s machines three flights down. With my arms filled to capacity, I found my way to the basement for an afternoon of “fluff-n-fold.”

In a small communal laundry room next to the boiler, at the folding table tucked neatly between two coin-operated machines, I’d regularly see Superman (Really!). There, like clockwork was Christopher Reeves in street clothes. But even without his red cape, red boots, red boxers and blue uni-tard - in my mind he was still faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, a strange visitor from another planet who came to earth with a laundry list of powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men.

Yep, “the flesh and blood” Christopher Reeves – the same one who was beloved by millions as both the mild-mannered reporter, Clark Kent, and Superman, the “Man of Steel.” But in this odd, mundane but very real setting, he became for me not just Christopher Reeves, but rather Clark Kent in a Christopher Reeves disguise - casually hiding behind glasses and a baseball hat while pushing mismatched loads of his family’s clothing into and out of washers and dryers. It was like seeing Clark Kent impersonating a bumbling Christopher Reeves so that I - just for that moment - might feel super (and superior—because boy did he not know how to wash clothes!). Similar to the way Superman impersonated a bumbling Clark Kent to make others feel like they, too, were a cut above.

But unlike Superman, our Birthday-boy Mr. Reeves wasn’t rocketed to Earth from a distant planet; never squeezed coal into diamonds, couldn’t travel back in time or soar into outer space, wasn’t capable of moving planets, and - in this instance - wasn’t very good at doing laundry, either.

Had he just divided his whites, colors and dark fabrics into separate loads and added a capful of white vinegar to his laundry, he would have kept his colors bold and his whites bright. Never-the-less – regardless of his less than super washing powers evidenced in his pink-stained tidy-whities and dingy-gray baby diapers - for me - Tuesday’s have forever remained “Sorting with Superman Day.”

Since my cleaning days, we’ve all lost a super-hero to human frailty. But what I’ve taken away from the time spent while folding and sorting is that whether troubled by twisters, ponderous over plummeting airplanes, upset by metropolis-squashing meteors, or even let down by loads of lackluster laundry - Superman, Clark Kent, Christopher Reeves, and even you and I continuously teeter-totter between our humanity, the spin cycle, those missing red boxers, and a fickle, ever-changing universe.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, as well as posting weekly blogs on Hearst’s “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com) and the Huffington Post (www.huffingtonpost.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal-Bravo’s eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

Speak like a Pirate Day
“…if we lived and were good,
God would permit us to be pirates.”
~ Mark Twain

Poop deck, port, prow, and starboard - the briny deep, the reef below, fair winds, and sailing the seven seas…it’s all in a days work for an old sea-dog lookout - spyglass in hand and perched high in his crow's nest - keeping his eyes peeled for land. “Ahoooy!” he cries to warn the worn Cap’n Sea-Legs. Thar' in the distance - small yet faint - it grows out of the horizon - a deserted island. “Land ho!”, a fellow matey sounds.

The rounded mound of island appears through the mist as all hands on board catch site of sand, coral filled turquoise water, swaying palms and a stranded couple on the beach - all sun-scorched and in tatters - a marooned Buccaneer and his lassie-wench. And in the mind of every scurvy dog on deck lies a pirate’s fantasy of buried treasure, piles of pieces-of-eight, and the mother-lode - a booty-filled chest of gold Doubloons. Oh, the thrill of plundering, robbing, and sacking along the Barbary Coast - ‘taint nothing like it, aye!

The adventure of pillage, however, happened rarely to those in search of excitement and, more often than not, the monotony and drudgery of ship-life was the norm. I can almost hear the lead Skipper saying “The bardom of da’ open sea, frequent scarvy, the lack of grog-n-grub…me hearties…leaves any man - pirate, thief or thug - hankerin’ for more. Sure…there’s stuff to do on board. There’s spyin’ fur th' mother of all whales, polishin’ me’ sword, rowin’, sailin’, fightin’, attackin’ galleons, or watchin’ some sad-sack traitor walk the plank. But - shiver me timbers - there’s nothin’ like swabbin’ the decks.”

Romanticized-adventuring-dirt-bag or not - on this hearty day - become a respectable yet daring, swashbuckling eco-pirate (Green-Beard?) by sportin’ a Tricorne hat, an eye-patch (covering just one of your peepers is sufficient) and a parrot on your shoulder to complete the look. Fully clad, commemorate the day by scrubbing your stairs, mopping your floors or swabbin’ your own decks with something safe and sound…I’ll bet me’ last gold Doubloon they did.

Now me’ maties - begin by making a paste of baking soda and water to remove shoe and furniture scuffs on all kinds of flooring. Continue by adding one half of a cup of baking soda to a bucket of water to swab the deck - uhm, I mean wash the floors. Mop with swarthy gusto, rinse and wipe dry.

Just ‘cause it’s speak like a pirate day doesn’t mean you have to live like one. Unleash your inner Cap’n Bligh and “Git off yur sorry keester…ya’ mangy scallywag.” and make your personal bounty shipshape. Whether channeling smart Black Bart, becoming cunning Captain Kidd, or acting like bloodthirsty Blackbeard – safely swabbin’ your deck, linoleum, tile or wood flooring is never reason for a mutiny…. Arrrrrgh!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.

“I, John, take you Jacqueline…”
"Don't let it be forgot, that once there was a spot,
for one brief shining moment that was known as Camelot"
~ Lerner and Loewe

With early-fall cool breezes and blue skies overhead, late summer is a perfect time of year to steal someone's heart and get hitched.

It was just that when John Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier tied the knot. And could there have been a more swellegant place to do it than in Newport, Rhode Island - the warm weather capital of American high-society and a Mecca for the wealthiest of the wealthiest?

If you’re planning to say "I do" there, too, you might find yourself rubbing elbows with the Astors or Vanderbilts, eying the mega-bling from Tiffany, Cartier or Van Cleef & Arpels, viewing magnificent flower arrangements, nibbling a five-tier wedding cake, waving to three thousand well wishers outside the church, greeting a thou’ or two of your nearest and dearest after the ceremony, holding closely to your perfect mate, and - depending on whether you really want one or not – wearing a memorable, original, handmade silk wedding gown.

After makin’ eyes at her “Mr. Right” and dreaming of walking the new ball-n-chain down the aisle, Jacqueline Bouvier, expected, and surely got, the prescribed “three-ring circus” when she married John F. Kennedy. (And why not…they were a match made in heaven.) Ms. “O” was then a beautiful young columnist with a camera who wrote "Inquiring Camera Girl" for The Washington Times-Herald, and JFK was the newly elected senator from Massachusetts.

Before twelve hundred people, on September 12, 1953 they took their vows and sealed it with those two little words, at St. Mary’s Church, the oldest Roman Catholic parish in Newport. And thus began their picture-perfect life together, filled with Pulitzer Prizes, the creation of the Peace Corps, the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, the 35th US Presidency, the Space Program, a complete restoration of the White House, and two wonderful children.

But on your big day, what if butter-cream or bubbly lands on your wedding dress? In that situation, it’s often best to think, “WWJD” - “What would Jackie Do?” Even the memorable handmade silk “Camelot” wedding gown worn by Jacqueline Bouvier-Kennedy might have been the object of a nuptial mishap. Had it happened to Jackie, though, she would have breathed deep, found her center, cooled her jets, and evaluated the situation by saying “How bad can it be?”

Out of control Bride-zilla or a calm and collected Bouvier, make sure you use the correct remedy for your stains. For red wine, softly dab at the spill with a clean dry white cloth followed by again dabbing with the spot with a damp white cloth and then dab some more. (Don’t rub!) If it’s still visible add just a dash of white vinegar, and continue to blot. To camouflage the remaining offense, sprinkle the area with baking soda…nobody will notice.

For oily stains - from makeup to meat-sauce - sprinkle the area liberally with baking soda, sit patiently for about ten minutes (remembering to smile!), and then shake the excess off while you’re out on the dance floor.

Getting hitched, popping the question, setting a date or just settling down - it all starts with whispering sweet nothings in someone's ear. And if your day is as perfect as Jackie’s and John’s - with a “Camelot spot” or without, remember that once the confetti’s been swept away and the rental chairs have been returned, you married the dude not the dress.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com). Please consider the environment.