New Years Eve
The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel.
--W.H. Auden

My partner’s dad, Marvin, a restaurateur, always called New Years Eve “Amateur Night.” It’s the one night of the year that even the lightweights feel they need to be out “partying”—pretending to know the words to "Auld Lang Syne," (Can somebody tell me what those words mean?), tying one on publicly by chug-a-lugging Champaign, publicly declaring a soon-to-be-forgotten New Year’s resolution, smooching with strangers they’d probably never even shake hands with if sober, oooh-ing under fireworks, dancing till dawn, and, in general, disregarding any limits of decorum while bidding a fond adieu to the passing of the old, and crying out a big-ol’ “Hey there!” for the coming of the new. That’s how most of us celebrate on December 31st. On New Year’s Eve folks will be huddled in bars, splayed out in swanky eateries, attending or throwing a party, or quietly tucked into bed vicariously watching the festivities of others on TV. But across the globe, millions of people will be lost in the massive crowds in New York City’s Times Square watching the ball drop, carrying on at the Moulin Rouge in Paris, whooping it up in London’s Trafalgar Square, bar-hopping and go-cupping in New Orleans, gambling and drinking along Las Vegas’ glittery strip, soaking in waist-high foam at Singapore's Siloso Splash, partying harbor-side at Dawes Point in Sydney, dancing with strangers on the Piazza del Popolo in Rome, or crammed onto Copacabana Beach in Rio. No matter how they do it (or where), running wild and/or barely comatose, most revelers will be hell-bent on having a rocking good time. (An evening to remember…yah’ right!)

Let’s face it, no matter how old or young we are, partiers or not, at some point in our lives we’ve all “been there.” And while attending public celebrations might make ignoring the mess left behind easier, most of us at one time or another have either hosted or attended a friend’s New Years Eve Party. As a veteran of the New Year’s Eve Wars, I can attest that there is just no polite way to describe the aftermath—the “remains of the day” so to speak. So here’s this eco-cleaner’s no-brainer tip for the day after.

First… you'll want to remove as much of the puke from your carpeting as possible. Wipe it up the best you can till it's as dry and as clean as you can make it. (Yah, I know it’s gross, but get over yourself—there’s just no easy way to talk about this!). Follow the wipe-up by sprinkling the violated area with baking soda, rubbing it deeply into the fibers of the carpet.

Now here’s the easy part...leave the now-baking-soda-covered mess behind. That's right. Just walk away from the offender until you can stomach it. (And for God’s sake, do anything but have another cocktail!) Then, in the bright light of day…that is, when you can clearly see your feet again… vacuum up the dried baking soda and, voila, the you-know-what should hopefully be gone.

In your attempts to create lasting New Years Eve memories, remember that what we actually have on this night is the rare opportunity of looking forward and backward simultaneously, and if we’re lucky, we’ll actually find ourselves momentarily in the present. So whatever it is that you end up doing on December 31st, have respect for your body and for those around you, and, with as little or as much of your dignity intact, make the most of a wonderful night.

(FYI…I don’t keep my resolutions…I recycle them.)

Happy New Year!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of whom benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on www.dailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Christmas

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory,
like a thunderstorm,
and we all go through it together.”
--Garrison Keillor

Each year on Christmas day, my family back home gets together, gobbles down a huge brunch and then sprawls out on couches till the worst of their digestive grief passes.

Next comes the exchanging of presents, and even though last year it started turning an eerie shade of black, my cousin Patti and her brother Dave will once again pass the same fruitcake back and forth, as they’ve done for years - disguising it in countless creative ways (you might say it’s the “ultimate” in recycling!). Ahhh—traditions!

Endless shopping, shimmering-ly wrapped gifts, songs of a swaddled savior, stacks of sweet snacks, swarms of spiteful siblings, endless displays of holiday who-ha, and a month’s worth of holiday shin-digs far too plentiful to attend, can bring every last nerve to a frazzle. When you feel overwhelmed—stop for a minute (if you can), take a deep breath, and think about holidays past…and if you’re lucky enough to have them, let recollections of forgotten silly traditions, ridiculous rituals and any warm memories flood to the surface.

When the season’s pressures get to me, I whip up some of my best Yuletide thoughts. One of my fav’s includes a late night as a “tweener” spent with my mom, when just she and I decorated the entire tree. We waited until my dad left for his usual midnight shift at the steel mill and my older brother, John, and twin sister, Mags, were sound asleep. With our shaky old wooden ladder positioned below the attic door we carefully lowered the branches and trunk of our un-assembled fake wire and wood Christmas tree. We’d quietly set it up in the living room, and then we unloaded box after box of tissue-wrapped ornaments and decorations…funny toy characters that spoke of the 60s, hokey plastic elves, figurines of the nativity, miles of vivid electric lights, handmade candles in jelly jars with arrangements of artificial flocked foliage, and, the piéce de resistance, my mom’s treasured faded mercury glass ornaments and strings of glass beads brought with her when she and her family immigrated from Holland.

We stayed up till dawn eating the Christmas cookie rejects, and listening to holiday tunes by Henry Mancini and Herb Alpert and his Tijuana Brass playing whisper-soft on the record player, while debating the placement of each ornament until all of the boxes were emptied and our home, like millions of others, was temporarily transformed into a gaudy-multi-colored-holiday-wonderland.

But my favorite Christmas memory is one that has stayed with me all these years and still makes me laugh: Though my mom wasn’t the best cook on the planet (my sister will disagree with me on this one), boy could she bake! So at Christmas time, while the fruitcake and eggnog may have come from the store, come hell or high water, cookies by the dozens were always homemade—walnut-chocolate-chip, peanut-butter, sugar, oatmeal-raisin, pecan-sandies, lemon bars and, once she could trust Mags and I to do more than just put our thumbprints on those cookies, we got to hand-decorate gingerbread men.

Annually, our kitchen would become bake-central with mom’s arsenal of metal cookie sheets and glass pans. The floury-fog, the smell of butter, chocolate, ginger, vanilla, cinnamon, and nutmeg and the clutter of sweeteners, extracts, eggs, homemade jellies and jams, candied fruit and colorful sugars created the perfect distraction from the mile-high stack of dirtied bowls, greasy spatulas, and gooey electric-mixer-beater do-dads that she kept piling in the sink, so as not to distract from the day’s baking adventures that lay ahead.

Starting early, Mom did the mixing and the baking, and though still half asleep, Mags and I were the gingerbread artists. We were presented with wobbly cookie sheets filled with “naked” cookie-men. We dressed the uniform shapes till each was one-of-a-kind, and then lined tray after tray anywhere we could find—unfilled counter space, the unused refrigerator top, and any unoccupied chair in proud anticipation of our creations being magically transformed into edible delights by just a few minutes in the heat of mom’s oven.

While still groggy and in need of a breather I sat down…on an unsuspecting, unbaked tray of fully decorated ginger-dudes.

Squish.

Uh-huh. That’s right. Even though it was 35 years ago, I can still clearly remember the feeling of those soft, semi-moist doughboys oozing into the seat of my favorite pajamas. Trying to act nonchalant, I quietly pealed them off my backside one by one. I can still remember that feeling of gloom, because I had trashed the unbaked gems we’d just worked so hard on. But all my attempts at “coolness” soon turned into an awkward 10-year-old’s humiliation.

Try as she might, mom could never completely remove those psychedelic stains, and what remained were the permanent imprints of those sugary multi-colored silhouetted Gingerbread men on the tush of my favorite PJs which I refused to let her throw away. Ironically, however, what had started out as an embarrassing mishap oddly turned into a year-long flamboyant and giggly reminder of Christmas and the recollection of my mom and sister every time I saw the troop of red, green, yellow and blue men marching across the butt-side of my pajamas.

That cookie-catastrophe taught me a lesson. Some spots aren’t worth removing and a calamity can sometimes become a brilliant memory that you hold onto for life.

Christmas can easily become blurred into a “twister of imposed joy” for which the commercialized season has become so well known. So this year, if things go wrong or get hectic, try to remember that the opposite of disorder and commotion is “peace”—which is the true meaning of the celebration, after all.

This holiday season, let’s all be mindful to offer to others care, kindness, tolerance, and charity. But you might also consider offering up your favorite Christmas memory to those you love—it can be a more valuable present than anything you can gift wrap. And every time you see a gingerbread man, I hope you’ll smile and think of the ones once plastered to my derriere so many Christmases ago.

Merry Christmas!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of whom benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on www.dailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Human Rights Day
“The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less”.
Eldridge Cleaver

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights came into being on December 10, 1948 through the hard work and leadership of Eleanor Roosevelt and the General Assembly of the newly formed United Nations. It’s a living document that defines and defends the highest goals of worldwide human rights by keeping us aware of the violations of economic, social, cultural, environmental, sexual, political and civil rights globally and makes us each recognize that dignity is the cornerstone of freedom, fairness and harmony in the world.

Human Rights Day lets us recognize and honor the complexity and diversity of each individual and the basic rights that every human being wants and deserves: to be healthy and clean, to be well fed, to drink fresh water, to breath fresh air, to live life abundantly, to freely become who we are meant to be, to go where we please, to love those we choose, to construct a family in our own way, to have safe shelter, to be secure wherever we are, to pray to the higher power of our choosing, to have honest work and be paid accordingly, to have the opportunity to prosper, to be well educated, to be expressive and creative, and to find an open horizon where we may develop our private thoughts and personal opinions.

We acknowledge Human Rights Day because in all of our apparent abundance and freedoms, there are so many who go without. We often take so much for granted and expect others to do what we are unwilling to do. The truth of the matter is that, now, more than at any other time in human history, the future literally lies in our hands. As members of an enormous human family, not only do we need to care for ourselves, our families and friends but be mindful of our planet, our freedoms, our civil and human rights, and the struggles for those rights by faceless and nameless others across the globe.

Our ever-shrinking world is filled with millions of people for whom basic human rights are only a dream. As citizens of the world, we need to fight to help make their dream a reality.

"Where, after all, do universal human rights begin? In small places, close to home -- so close and so small that they cannot be seen on any maps of the world. Yet they are the world of the individual person; the neighborhood he lives in; the school or college he attends; the factory, farm or office where he works. Such are the places where every man, woman and child seeks equal justice, equal opportunity, equal dignity without discrimination. Unless these rights have meaning there, they have little meaning anywhere. Without concerned citizen action to uphold them close to home, we shall look in vain for progress in the larger world."
~Eleanor Roosevelt

[For more information on the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights, visit http://www.un.org/Overview/rights.html]

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of whom benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on www.dailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

Hanukkah
The “Festival of Lights”

At this time of year, Jewish folks the world over celebrate Hanukkah, and have done so for a bazillion years. According to the Old Testament, the Jewish Maccabees (who had just “whooped” the butts of the ruling Syrians) were about to rededicate the newly sanctified Holy Temple in Jerusalem. The blessing required enough purified oil to burn for their eight days of festivities…but there was only one small jar of holy oil to be found—enough to burn for just one day. Miraculously, the oil kept a bright flame burning in the temple for all eight days.

Hanukkah…a fun, child-centered holiday celebrated by singing songs and playing children’s games is observed by exchanging small presents on each night, and eating special food (potato pancakes, anyone?). But most importantly, the holiday is celebrated by lighting a Hanukkah candelabra called a Menorah.

Each night candles are lit, one candle on the first night, two candles on the second night and so on until there are eight candles lit representing the miracle of the eight days the oil lasted. Known as the “Festival of Lights,” the glow of the Hanukkah candles isn’t meant for the illumination of your home, but rather, is for the illumination from your house to the outside world, so that anyone who sees the burning candles might be reminded of the holiday's miracle.

I like the simplicity and thoughtfulness of Hanukkah. (It stands in stark contrast to the traditions of my family, which included lugging a big, musty, plastic tree out of the attic and then spending weeks decorating and then un-decorating it.) Each year, my Jewish partner and I light candles at sundown every night of the holiday. With the Menorah set on a shelf below our front hallway mirror, he and I stand together with our dog, ‘Jack,’ circling our ankles. As my partner Richard says the Hanukkah prayers in Hebrew and the candles are lit, they beautifully illuminate the entryway transom and dining room windows with their warm twinkling glow.

The distinctive, multi-colored Hanukkah candles must be left to burn out by themselves—usually in about 30 minutes, and, to this neat-freak’s chagrin, they often drip onto the silver Menorah or the shelf below.

Did I say dripping candles? Yes, Hanukkah candles do sometimes drip. Sure, there are always distractions from every family ritual, but try to “be in the moment” and don’t slip into “freak-out” mode just because something isn’t going as planned. Things happen and often the unforeseen can lead to the surprise of a lifetime. (e.g. the miracle of Hanukkah in the first place!). In the event of sloppy candles, ignore them, say your prayers, chase your loved ones around the house looking for hidden Hanukkah gelt (chocolate “coins” wrapped in gold foil), and eat to your heart’s content. It’s just a little wax and it can be cleaned up tomorrow - yes, even a compulsive cleaner like me can chill out once in a while!

When I’ve crawled out from under the covers the next morning, in the bright light of day, I examine the spoils of the prior evening. Candle wax—whether from Hanukkah candles or from the tapers you burn in Grandma’s heirloom sterling candelabra on other holidays—is a no-brainer to remove from either hard or fabric surfaces.

Even though I’m bald, I keep a hairdryer on hand, and re-purpose it for removing dribbly-drops of paraffin from any hard surface. I just point and shoot…set on the lowest heat setting; it will soften the wax enough to be easily pealed away. Any residue can be gently wiped away with newspaper, paper towel or a household rag. The hairdryer also comes in handy to soften the wick remains of burned-out candles to easily scoop them out of the candleholder, making way for the next set of candles.

For soft surfaces such as linens, rugs, draperies or upholstered furnishings, an electric iron works best. Cover the hardened heap of wax with a few layers of recycled newspaper, and melt the paraffin through the layers with your iron set on the medium, and steamless, setting. As the wax melts, it will “miraculously” blot up into the newspaper. For serious globs of wax, remove the largest clump manually and then use the iron and newspaper method.


(Something to keep in mind: brightly colored candles can be a ton of fun to look at. Neutral or white candles don’t contain colored dyes that might actually stain what the offending hot wax may drip on. But, of course, not everyone can live in a neutral, beige or white décor, so always try to find “dripless” candles if you are using colors.)

When all is said and done, with the minor offenses of candle wax aside, the most important message of Hanukkah for me is found in the translation of the Hebrew name of the holiday: Dedication. “The Festival of Lights” can serve as an annual opportunity for all of us, no matter what our belief, for rededication.

Through our deeds and faith we can meaningfully observe the significance of Hanukkah by mindfully recommitting to the pursuit of our highest principles, raising our standards, reconsidering or affirming our set of values, or dedicating our energies to match our beliefs. The modern miracle of Hanukkah is that each year it gives us all another occasion to commit our lives to a Universal power, to our family and friends, to our community, to a favorite charity, to healing our planet, to peace on earth, or, if you’re like me, to rejoicing in the wackiness of being a clean freak!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of whom benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on www.dailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.

AIDS Awareness
Nov. 30 – Dec. 6

Gadgetry, like our planet, seems to get smaller and smaller every day: tiny cell phones, itsy-bitsy music downloading devices, digital cameras the size of a bankcard. We now have so many opportunities to be or feel closer to others—those that live far away and even those right near-by. We can call a friend, congratulate a neighbor, or sing happy birthday to a niece, anywhere from anywhere. We can listen to Aretha Franklin, Nine-Inch Nails, Jerry Garcia or the strings of Montovani at any time. We can witness, through instant images, an infant’s first breath, a wedding we unfortunately were unable to attend, or undergo an operation with doctor-speaking-to-doctor via telecom. Everything brought to us because of the mass availability of mini “stuff” that we so eagerly gobble up.

But with all this meteoric technological and biomedical progress all around us, it baffles me that something so small as a virus can still elude it all and remain a pandemic “killer” in the 21st century. An estimated 39.5 million men, women and children across the planet live with HIV; the destructive, non-discriminatory virus known to cause AIDS.

Randy Shilts (Author), Vito Russo (Critic/Journalist), James Merrill (Poet), Willi Smith (Fashion Designer), David Wojnarowitz (Artist), Isaac Asimov (Writer), Way Bandy (Make up Artist), Tina Chow (Model), Perry Ellis (Fashion Designer), Felix Gonzalez-Torres (Artist), Halston (Fashion Designer), Keith Harring (Artist), Robert Mapelthorpe (Photographer), Herb Ritts (Photographer), Wayland Flowers (Ventriloquist), Robert Joffrey (Choreographer), Rudolph Nureyev (Ballet Dancer), Alvin Ailey (Choreographer), Michael Bennett (Director), Arthur Ashe (Tennis Player), Sylvester (Singer), Liberace (Pianist), Freddie Mercury (Singer), Klaus Nomi (Singer), Lance Loud (Columnist), Peter Allen (Singer/Songwriter), Ryan White (Child AIDS Activist), Steve Rubell (Studio 54 Raconteur), Elizabeth Glazer (AIDS Activist), Robert Reed (Actor), Anthony Perkins (Actor), Rock Hudson (Actor), Brad Davis (Actor), Amanda Blake (Actor)…all of them gone from AIDS-related complications. A very shortlisted “who’s-who” of the legion of creative, talented individuals infected and now deceased, who, while alive, became beloved household names. But celebrities living with or dying from AIDS is but the tip of a tremendous iceberg.

On World AIDS Day, we need to remember those we have lost, but we also need to remember the 39.5 million anonymous individuals and households that are also affected by and infected with HIV… for instance households like mine.

My partner Richard and I met almost twenty years ago and have been together as a couple ever since. I remember the first time I saw him… his long chestnut hair, wonderful hands, and most of all his twinkly squinty eyes. But when he opened his mouth I knew I had found the person I was meant to be with. A gentle voice, a great sense of humor and style, and an appreciation of all things fine and good, are ways I defined him then and now. He’s pretty great.

He told me right from the start that he was HIV-positive and probably had been since 1982. As a person who is and remains HIV-negative, I freaked but replied by saying “Hey, we all have ‘baggage.’” He has always referred to my response as the answer he hoped to hear from a potential mate—particularly in the late 1980s at the height of AIDS hysteria. But on my end, when he told me he was positive, I thought he was so brave.

Many years into our relationship we look back and laugh because while he was so forthcoming, I probably should have been as revealing. It took me years to reveal my junk to him...my personal insecurities paired with a truly whack-o, “stranger than fiction” family history. As much as he feared I might run after his disclosure, I feared he might speed away had I actually showed him my baggage when we met!

We now live together and keep our home as chemical-free as possible. His 30-odd medications a day are keeping him healthy, but often reeling from side effects too numerous to mention. So together we figured, why add the toxicity of household cleaners to the mix, when it was so easy not to.

He and I have greatly simplified our cleaning regimen and only use non-toxic combinations of baking soda, borax, lemon, white vinegar and salt to clean our home. There’s nothing new or unusual about any of them, and, in fact, they’ve been used for cleaning for centuries. They’re pure, wholesome and natural—and none will hurt you or your family or your pets. Sure, I’m usually touting these recipes because they are good for the environment, but, personally more important, for households like ours with people with compromised immune systems, it’s just plain old healthier.

And while Richard often thinks our house is freakishly clean (an obsession of mine) we’re both happy and healthy and do everything we can to remain so…me in my (HIV) “negative” way and he in his (HIV) “positive” way.

Life isn’t perfect (whose is?) but ours works.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of whom benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on www.dailygreen.com. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com.