The Invention of the Toothbrush
“The first thing I do in the morning
is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”
~Dorothy Parker

As I recall - the kid loses a tooth and it gets stuffed under a pillow before he or she drifts off to sleep. (Sometimes it’s stashed in a glass of water beside the bed...I’ve been told it’s easier to find the little bugger that way.) And when the sun cracks over the horizon a replacement is often found - be it a quarter, a buck, or a gift – and its all thanks to The Tooth Fairy.

The Tooth Fairy is this mythical, make-believe, whatcha’-ma-call-it that nocturnally twitters through the night air and speeds from bedside to bedside collecting the fallen teeth of little children, sometimes leaving a trinket for the tooth as an honorarium for its loss. It gives the rug-rats a false sense of belief in the intangible, a whodunit to solve, and forces them to begin to distinguish the difference between the actual and the make-believe, thus beginning every child’s mistrust of its parental units.

At about six years, baby teeth naturally start to wiggle, loosen and usually fall out so that adult teeth may have their permanent home. And while this event might cause any kid to completely freak out, it’s a normal part of life and it happens to us all—Tooth Fairy, or not.

Although it might be natural for teeth to fall out as a child, it isn’t for adults, and one of the best ways to make sure that your teeth stay firmly planted in your adult head is by daily committing to brushing them. That means getting in there a few times a day (at the least, once in the morning and once in the evening, but best after every meal) with a brush and your favorite toothpaste…it’s the optimum way to remove plaque, which consists mostly of bacteria. (And of course, remember to shut that running tap off while you’re brushing and sing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” in your head—when the song is done, you’re done!). A toothbrush can get most of the oo-and-goo, but the flotsam and jetsam left behind is easily tackled with dental floss. When you get into the swing of flossing you’ll discover the thrill of what many consider the best way to remove plaque from all of the nooks and crannies along the gumline where periodontal disease most times begins. (A regularly scheduled professional cleaning and polishing by a dental hygienist is also a nice touch.)

And to keep your toothbrush fresh as a daisy - after brushing - rinse it completely with water, allow it to air-dry (who invented that silly toothbrush-cozy…heh?), stash it at least six feet away from a toilet (ewww…) in an upright position and without touching other toothbrushes. The manufacturers of synthetic toothbrushes recommend disposing of them every three or four months, too. And it’s also a good idea to break-in a new toothbrush once you have finished with a cold.

Because it’s such a common item, one would think that the toothbrush would have been made in the seven days that the heavens and the earth and Adam and Eve where created. (I just assumed they both must have had Pepsodent Smiles—didn’t you?) This week, however, marks the observance of the humble toothbrush’s creation. (How do I know these things? Don’t ask, just trust me!)

The toothbrush as we know it was invented in the 15th century in China and was originally concocted of boar’s hair or horsehair and bamboo or bone. Immediately loved for its functionality, toothbrushes were hauled back by the boatload to Europe by travelers to the East, thus introducing the Western world to a new and convenient form of oral hygiene –quite possibly Western man’s first attempt at it ever! (Next, I think, came deodorant, but that’s for another blog.)

The modern, disposable toothbrush that we’ve all come to know and love, however, is most often made of more durable and long-lasting synthetics and plastic. And all of this made me start to thinking about how we need to be mindful of the small stuff that makes up our lives and how small actions can have big consequences. Take for instance the simple act of throwing away that synthetic and plastic toothbrush:

If you consider that the average human life expectancy today is about 78 years and then multiply that by the times one might replace a toothbrush (every 4 months or so) you get a grand total of 312 toothbrushes used and then discarded by any given individual during his or her time on the planet.

Then, figuring that each toothbrush weighs 16.5 gm, in total, every person on the planet (about 6,602,224,175) throws away approximately 11 pounds of toothbrushes in a lifetime. Soooo – if 6,602,224,175 people throw away 11 pounds of toothbrushes each, we’re stuck with something like 72,624,465,925 pounds of non-biodegradable waste. That’s 36,312,233 tons - a pile the size of 80,000 Statues of Liberty. (It sure redefines the line “…the wretched refuse of your teeming shore” from the famous Emma Lazarus poem found at Lady Liberty’s feet.)

So the next time you or someone in your household needs a new toothbrush, consider switching to a newfangled biodegradable one made of corn or potato starch, flax or wood fiber, and natural bristles. You can easily find them on line.

Although The Tooth Fairy could once ease the pains of losing baby teeth - powerful as she (or he) may be - nobody can make 36,312,233 tons of discarded toothbrushes disappear. That heap of non-biodegradable trash can only vanish by not making it in the first place.

Now go floss!

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

Fathers Day
"It doesn't matter who my father was;
it matters who I remember he was. "

~Anne Sexton

From years of gentle rolling waves, the waters of Lake Michigan deposited piles of powder-white sun-bleached sand into monolithic climbable dunes. Along with the sound of the water, it’s slathered sunbathers, bristly tall beach grass, tangles of driftwood being tossed back and forth and small clams leaving trails of bubbles through the sand as the water retreated from the roll of the latest wave - being so near to one of the Great Lakes was like having an ocean nearby.

As kids at the beach, we would walk its length until we sensed it would be an equally long walk back and while doing so collected stones and shells that had been transformed by the constant unnoticeable grind of the sand and water. And as the day would dwindle away and as our heads, forearms and shoulders would become pink from a day at the shore, the citrus glow of the sun would move to a place behind the dunes and we would collect our stuff, load up our car, and head home.

The beach around Lake Michigan was nearby and our family would begin our day there with my dad making pancakes in the campgrounds' barbecue pits. In a metal bowl, the eggs, milk and instant batter from a box would be fluffed with a large spoon while the coals of the fire would be nursed to a glowing red-hot perfection. The appearance of his large blackened cast iron pan would mean that in a minute, the butter would be hot enough and we’d hear the much-anticipated sizzle and crackle of almost burned pancakes which he quickly plated up for the next hungry mouth.

To some, my dad, Floyd, might have been a dismissible man - quiet, soft spoken and shy. But to each of his three kids he was the world. Each winter he turned our driveway into an ice-rink, in the spring he’d bring us all fishing, during the school year he quietly sat through our torturous music lessons and every fall he painfully but proudly sat though our concerts. While shuttling us from point to point, he quietly watched, listened and guided. And although he worked the midnight shifts at the steel mill, had only a grade school education, and spoke English as his second language, he did so many wonderful things that I’ve only come to appreciate as an adult -including teaching me how to clean that heavy cast iron skillet at the beach.

He taught me to always clean our pancake-pan by first boiling water in it, and then letting it soak for several minutes. He then had me empty its crud-filled contents, wipe it dry with a towel, reheat it and then finally coached me to dab just enough oil to cover all of its surfaces before storing it back in the trunk of our Chevy, ready for the next sunrise breakfast at the beach.

I’m still discovering the gifts my father gave me and try to remember him for the complicated and swell man he was – thoughtfully doing the best he could while allowing us kids to watch and patiently teaching us the fine art of making lemonade when-and-if you’re lucky enough to have the world give you lemons.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

National Bathroom Reading Week
“Reading gives us someplace to go when we have to stay where we are.”
~Mason Cooley

Yeah’ - you do it - go ahead and fess up. Many folks, both men and women, immerse themselves into their favorite literature while making their bladder gladder. If you're a bathroom reader, there’s no reason for shame - you’re not alone. Surveys tell us that roughly two-thirds of North Americans admit to reading in the bathroom.

It's not just a “dude” thing either, (unless those piles of Vogue, Mademoiselle, and Marie Claire are for men who are attempting to tap into the freshest fashion trends) and it's not just an American thing either. If you realy think about it, why not read? The “loo” is often the coolest and the lightest room in most homes, and for some, the restroom is often an island of calm in an otherwise topsy-turvy world. (Hmmm…I wonder if the porcelain-palace was the inspiration for “A Clean Well Lighted Place” by Ernest Hemingway?) And you can always learn something new, novel and exciting while you’re…ummm…waiting. For instance, the Scott Paper Co. conducted a survey revealing that two-thirds of people who read in the bathroom have either masters or doctorate degrees.

By reading too, you’re not just multi-tasking, you’re enriching your mind, and come to think of it – you’re also promoting literacy. And although he wasn’t publicly an advocate of reading, W.C. Fields considered his bathroom his library. And much like him, while “loitering” perhaps you’ll consider enjoying one of the classics like “Gone with the Wind,” “Lord of the Flies,” “A Raisin in the Sun,” “Watership Down,” or maybe even “Great Expectations”…you get my drift.

And while personally, I’m not an advocate of paging through poems on the potty, jones-ing for journalism on the john, craving copy on the can, or even thumbing the thesaurus on the throne - someone I’m most near and dear to (…and you know who you are) is. I’ve been assured, however, that reading in the bathroom isn’t as nasty as it appears, and that other areas of most homes are probably less hygienic.

In the event that your bathroom isn’t too tidy, to make National Bathroom Reading Week a family tradition in your home, you’ll need to remember just few things. Make it wholesome, strive for sanitary, keep it sparkling and lean to clean. To do so, place one cup of baking soda down your toilet or drain every week to help maintain the PH balance of your septic tank and to keep it flowing smoothly. Follow by adding one-quarter cup borax to your toilet bowl to help clean and deodorize it. Swish the mixture with a brush and allow it to stand for at least an hour or even better, overnight… then just flush.

Who knows, the luster of your lavatory may just trigger a tome.

As you all know, I don’t read books; I write them…you’ll never catch me doing “that” in “there.” But if you’re so inclined, for National Bathroom Reading Week, by all means plunge into your favorite book.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.

Dare Day
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
~Helen Keller

There are folks who dare to go bare, those that challenge others with the dreaded double or triple-dog dare, goof-balls that gamble with the laws of nature and gravity by becoming stuntmen or daredevils, and yet even more who risk their dignity by playing the ever-embarrassing “Truth-or-Dare.”

I’m sure everyone has played the well-known game at some time or another. But in the event that you haven’t: the challenger begins by asking another player "Truth or Dare?" If the player answers, “Truth,” then the challenger gets to ask the opponent an embarrassing question that’s then answered truthfully in front of the other players. If, however, the questioned player answers, “Dare,” then the challenging player gets to “dare” the opponent to do something ridiculous, stupid, embarrassing, or dangerous - sort of the at-home version of the TV show, “Jackass.”

On Dare Day - this annual occasion to be audacious - take the initiative to confront your family, friends and colleagues with pranks, challenges, and silly antics to make this holiday especially daring. You might begin by daring a friend to draw a moustache on someone while they’re sleeping, taunt the mailman to brush your teeth for you, provoke your cousin to lick the armpits of an acquaintance, defy your neighbor to drink tequila out of someone else’s navel, urge your housekeeper to sport a toilet paper turban, goad your accountant to wear his underpants inside-out, or challenge your secretary to yodel.

Of course, “Truth of Dare” is only a game and should be done in the spirit of good fun. But in a more serious way, whether dared or daring or both, over the course of history/her-story, there have been individuals who have exhibited mind-blowing courage and true grit toward a variety of challenges. Luckily for us, their daring made a significant difference to society.

Take for example the daring Harriet Tubman. She was born into slavery and by the age of nine was used as the plantation nurse and housekeeper. Later in life she escaped slavery, and prior to the Civil War, led other slaves to freedom through The Underground Railroad. She actually fought for the Union, and after the war she fought for Women’s Suffrage. This courageous African-American woman, who by all accounts was not a yodeler or ever wore a toilet paper turban, was nicknamed “Moses” because, at great risk to her own life and limb, she dared to free her people.

Another great woman who dared to fight the establishment was Rosa Parks, a housekeeper, insurance agent, and seamstress, who is best known for her 1955 Montgomery, Alabama bus ride. As a woman of color, Ms. Parks chose not to give up her bus-seat for a white passenger (then a colossal act of bravery and civil disobedience) thereby instigating the Montgomery Bus Boycott - one of the largest movements against racial segregation in history. (Imagine how different things would have been had she dared to draw a moustache on the bus driver instead!)

And how about Indira Gandhi? When Great Britain released its control over India, and the Indian Empire was divided into India and Pakistan, India erupted into violence. Prior to the civil unrest, Indira served as her father's hostess and housekeeper (anyone recognizing a pattern yet?). Yet at this critical moment in her country’s history, she stepped up, took control of her father's mansion, and assisted him with political matters. Together, father and daughter worked towards peace.

Unlike motorcyclist and daredevil Evel Knievel - Tubman, Parks and Gandhi never dared to do anything as revolutionary as jumping over the dancing fountains at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Admittedly, however, while none of their brave actions required a Harley, they were, nonetheless, inspired. But in the event that they were ever closeted “motor-heads” - being the fine housekeepers that they all were at one time in their lives - my good guess is that they would never have suffered the indignity of motor oil stains on their driveways or garage floors left by their “hogs”(if they had them.) They’d have dared to do something about them too.

In the event that such stains plague your garage or driveway, just muster up the courage to sprinkle baking soda over those greasy spots and allow the powder to absorb them. I then triple-dog dare you to add a bit of water to the baking soda to form a paste and then, if you have the guts, proceed to brush or scrub the mess up. The truth? - the baking soda should take care of most of the oily spills or stains. But if not? Ehhh—you’ll get over it—it’s only a garage floor.

By comparison, messed up floors are small potatoes. Now go out and do something really daring.

Michael De Jong, is the author of “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing,” (www.zencleansing.com) produced by Joost Elffers Design and published in 2007 by Sterling Publishers. He lives in Jersey City with his partner, dog and three goldfish, all of which benefit from his natural cleaning techniques. De Jong, who cleaned apartments in New York City while working as a fine artist, began researching and inventing many of the recipes in “CLEAN” because of his own allergic reactions to commercial cleaning products, and he is continually experimenting with safe, effective and eco-friendly alternatives. Raised in the mid-West by a family that valued the environment and re-cycled before it was fashionable, his quest for non-toxic solutions comes naturally to him. He is currently writing a companion series of “CLEAN” books dealing with such topics as the body, first aid, organization, and food, as well as posting a weekly blog on Hearst Publishing’s first online magazine, “The Daily Green” (www.thedailygreen.com). De Jong is also “Ask Mr. Green” for NBC-Universal’s new eco-website www.GreenIsUniversal.com where you can send him your questions about housecleaning problems. “CLEAN: The Humble Art of Zen-Cleansing” can be purchased at Barnes & Noble stores across the country or on-line at www.barnesandnoble.com or www.amazon.com. “CLEAN” is also an online course about “zen-cleansing” at Latitude U (www.LatitudeU.com).

Please consider the environment.